City of Roses
|John, what Ford mentioned below your post is quite accurate to me. I am a conscientious objector, and believe, like he said, one war will inevitably incite more conflict and more wars. So the answer is never.
The fact is, especially in polarized times like these, if someone was drafted who didn't want to fight this war, they're not serving their country, they're serving the interests of a lobbying or bureaucratic minority that happens to support the war.
I simply don't want to kill anyone or even touch an AK-47 or any gun in that manner. If I was selected, I would be more than willing to be thrown in jail, because underneath my layers of pale grey, grime and defeat on my face, I know deep down under my skin I remain true to myself, I remain all that I've stood up for, and my conscience is clear, and I can at least sleep rest assured I wasn't one who made all the terrible stories of war in history repeat themselves.
The truth is, though I am morally anti-war, I also just want to live my life and pursue my dreams. I just want to follow my heart and my dreams, find true love in the world. I would be miserable if I was forced to go, my right leg was blown off and my body filled with uranium contamination and then I wanted to have a family and I found a child was born deformed and with severe birth defects. My heart would be broken and I don't think the aneurysm would ever subside.
Those of you who have known me for a while here, you probably know enough of my rough past, which I finally escaped from when I was out of elementary school. So much of my metamorphosis, becoming the upbeat, free-spirited optimistic person I am now was influenced by the likes of artists, dreamers, metaphysicists, hippies and activists. I can relate to and identify with them with all my heart, and ever since I have governed my life by the principles of non-violence, spirituality and activism.
If I was sent to Iraq tomorrow and open-fired on Falluj or Najaf or wherever, just that thought makes my hands and my jaw numb. It would be more than just tarnishing the lives of many innocent bystanders there, it would be tarnishing myself. I wouldn't know who I am anymore, and don't think I could ever live with myself anymore. It would be like swimming backwards back into my somber past, and my whole youth has passed me by.
It just feels so wrong to me in general how it must be the young who have to fight. They say between the ages of 21-27 is the best time of ones life, where you are independent and you also have so much energy and enthusiasm. It should be the time to take full flight and embrace your dreams, like the golden age of spreading your wings and growing your roots.
If someone who is between 18 to 27 wanted to be enlisted, it is that person's decision and he or she has every right to do so, because he or she is following his or her heart, dream. But to force a mandatory order on all the youth like that, when too many don't want to go because they're scared, object to war, etc. is just saddening to me. There's got to be a better way, like those who support the war come first or somewhere along those lines.
Maybe there is a bit of cowardice in me too, but I believe I have a good reason. Because I wouldn't be turning my back on this country if I refused to fight, I'd be turning my back on an administration in my personal gut I find corrupt and don't want to do their dirty laundry.
I will tell you this though, John. I'd be more than happy to serve with the Peace Corps. That's one service I'd be happy to contribute too. I wouldn't mind if they had a draft and signed me up!
"You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come back home" MB20