Member Rara Avis
the ass-end of space
Raph, I think this is where your argument falls apart, because "all necessary precautions" would have to include abstinence
Of course Ron, but I'm speaking of the necessary precautions within the context of having sexual relations. i.e. If you are going to have sex, this is the way to go about it.
No, not if the woman intentionally impreganted herself with the knowledge that she would be paying baby's way all on her lonesome. There's a difference between a planned pregnancy and an "oops."
If, once it's understood that you are pregnant, you're given three options and the option you choose is giving birth is that not somewhat planned? Moreso then the male who has absolutely no say on the outcome. Again i'm not talking of all cases, let's set social taboos/religious/ethical cases aside. I can't fathom why anybody would want to have the child of a stranger without full knowledge of their genetic and psychological makeup simply for the sake of having a child? If a woman decides to take on the responsibility of single motherhood of a child conceived from casual sex partners and one night stands, why is it the fiscal responsibility of a stranger who becomes the 'father' by way of, essentially, an errant sperm. I know that sounds callous but that's not my intention. Here's my point, while the female(like the male) didn't choose pregnancy, she did choose motherhood whereas the male is thrust into fatherhood
But a woman who took the precautions of birth control is going to be responsible, whether she likes it or not... and not only fiscally, but she has to loan out her uterus for 9 months, deal with morning sickness, the agony of childbirth, the possibility of not being paid while on her maternity leave or getting paid less (we don't all have good benefits, y'know) and the overwhelming responsibility of shaping a new life.
First let me clarify, I think some of you may be under the mistaken impression that I'm against child support in an unplanned pregnancy. I'm simply saying that the law is unbalanced towards to men when both parties made are guilty of the mistake.
Second, I'm not taking a chauvanist approach and saying 'guys shouldn't take the rap'. But in cases where the male did everything in his power to protect himself maybe there should be either ,caps on the financial responsibility or arbitration where responsibility and decision-making is evened out.
Not all single mothers will deny fathers the right to see their kids... I don't even think most will. I mean, it's possible... but that's what the legal system is for (or is supposed to be for, at least- I don't know how well that works out in practice.)
But this is a problem, often the legal system is skewed in favour of single mothers. Again, with reason, reasons as the child of a single mother I approve of. But there's little balance in the system. Sow hat started with noble intentions can be a nightmare for men.
I'm not talking of careless men, men who used or abandoned women and children, I'm talking about responsible men who tried to take precautions while enjoying sex. That's why i said in the case of strangers and 'oops' pregnancies, some sort of arbitration and decision by males should be factored into the outcome.