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Passions in Poetry

WHO are you making these for?

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Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


0 posted 06-01-2004 05:30 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

Went shopping for shorts today.

Plain old denim shorts.

I haven't shopped for jeans in quite a while so I decide I'll be clever and take 3 different sizes into the fitting room, so at least when I come out I'll have some idea of what size to buy the colors I want in (I absolutely loathe trying on clothes at the store).

So I try on the middle size first, as I figure it's my best bet. Hmm, fits pretty well over the hips, enough room to be comfortable but not enough to make them too baggy ... looking good so far ... then I pull up the zipper and button them and ....

... there's about 4-6 inches too many on the waist. Seriously. Of course these being denim shorts the fabric is fairly stiff, so the waist of the shorts follows the curve of the rest of the garment (or basically the curve of my hips and rear end) and I look like I'm wearing a barrel over the bottom half of my body.

So I'm thinking ... err, next size down. I try on the smallest pair I brought in, and they are a bit tighter around the hips than I'd like (wiggling to get them on and all that) but surely the waist on these will be a bit better.

Nope. Still about 3-4 inches too big, and they look positively comical on me.

By now I'm figuring one of two things: either 1) I accidentally picked up "low rider" shorts which are designed to be worn around the hips, or 2) I have the body of a circus freak. So I slip the middle pair back on and try fastening them around my hips ... so now the waistline is only about 2 inches too wide and the crotch is about 4 inches lower than it's supposed to be. Erm, nope, not low riders. Smaller pair, same thing.

Completely frustrated now, I take the shorts off and look at them on the hanger. There *may* have been about a 3-inch taper TOTAL between the hem and the waist. Dimensions-wise this means the waist of these shorts was approximately 6 inches smaller than the hem, and only about 4 inches smaller than the hips.

What I'd like to know is WHAT KIND OF WOMAN HAS A WAIST THAT'S ONLY 4 INCHES NARROWER THAN HER HIPS?? I realize childbirth probably widened my hips a wee bit in comparison with my waist, but are women no longer allowed to have any curves at all??

I was completely disgusted and left the store without buying anything. I suppose I'll have to order custom Levi's shorts made! Ridiculous.
Christopher
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Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


1 posted 06-01-2004 06:40 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

quote:
...or 2) I have the body of a circus freak.
heh.

no, just found this amusing. not implying ANYTHING.

i swear.
Midnitesun
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since 05-18-2001
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Gaia


2 posted 06-01-2004 07:43 PM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

ROTFLMAO, as I understand this dressing room saga. I recently tried on four different pairs of jeans, one fit well enough but had an irritating double thick folded-over seam in the crotch...ugh! HMMM and the others....well, let's just say two of them must have been made to fit the body of an alien, LOL, the waist and hips and bottom hem all looked to be the about the same width, give or take an inch. I had to check the dressing room and dept signage again, thought maybe I was in the boys dept by accident. It really IS frustrating even when it's funny, but it takes hauling three or four sizes and styles to the dressing room.
Sure glad I'm not the only woman who hates to shop for clothes!
Nan
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since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


3 posted 06-02-2004 08:49 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

ROTFL... So THAT's where you've been... Out shopping... Did Mysteria poet-nap you?

I have to agree about the trying things on stuff... It's painful... Why do people like that stuff, anyway?

So maybe you can try another brand?  There MUST be some old standby names out there...

Could I interest you in some shoes?  Size 6 - Mysteria made me buy 7 pairs in one day...
muted
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since 01-15-2004
Posts 3021
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving


4 posted 06-02-2004 09:32 PM       View Profile for muted   Email muted   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for muted

GOOD GRIEF!
seven pairs of shoes in one day! LOL..

as for "circus freak" comment...
ya know, i never looked good in stripes ROFL


Hate trying on clothes, but Looooove to shop

Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


5 posted 06-03-2004 02:45 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Gads...I've been vindicated and validated as to why I do NOT shop on purpose [only by plan];

AND...

why I look at my husband as if he grew three heads when he says "aren't all slacks the same?" or...better yet...."doesn't one size stretch fit ALL?"

Welcome home, Skye!
Not A Poet
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since 11-03-1999
Posts 4427
Oklahoma, USA


6 posted 06-03-2004 04:07 PM       View Profile for Not A Poet   Email Not A Poet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Not A Poet's Home Page   View IP for Not A Poet

Hi there. Missed you. Gads, you can even rant with eloquence

Pete
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


7 posted 06-03-2004 04:08 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Those shorts with no waist?

groan...

they're prolly MINE.
Michelle_loves_Mike
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since 12-20-2003
Posts 1200
Pennsylvania


8 posted 06-03-2004 04:16 PM       View Profile for Michelle_loves_Mike   Email Michelle_loves_Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michelle_loves_Mike

Same senario,,but, I take at least a 4x,,,to you skinny people out there,,thats equivilant to a hula hoop, lol, tried jeans,,,,,was just too much,,,,hips? please, what are those? Im just happy when pants go all the way around, I can breath, and they arent up to my knees,,,,im right at 6 feet, and all clothes makers think large ladies stop at 5 feet 5,,,,,,and think we just love huge, neon and brown flowers on everything,,,,I wont even get into the shoe delima,,size 12,,you find cute ones! lol
take care
Michelle

I wish all could find the true happiness I have found,,in the eyes of Mike

Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


9 posted 06-03-2004 04:43 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

Heh, glad to see I'm not alone.

quote:
So maybe you can try another brand?  There MUST be some old standby names out there..


Actually this isn't a new phenomnon for me, it's just become more pronounced with the advent of the low-rider trend.  I've always had small-waist-big-butt syndrome, specifically "bubble butt" which, while often popular with the gentlemen, is apparently unknown to the clothing designers.  I used to stick to Gitano jeans as they seem to have mastered the concept of a "waist" of the feminine variety, however I've had no luck finding shorts in that brand this year and I ain't willing to wear jeans in the 110 degree weather!

As to your shoe dilemma Nan, I must confess that I rarely find a shoe that catches my fancy, but when I do I have a habit of buying one in EVERY color!  

Oh, and a little detail about my shopping adventure I forgot to mention ... when I was at my wit's end at the last store I visited I marched out of the fitting room, sporting a pair of my barrel-pants with bright red bloomers flashing for all the world to see, and demanded of the attendant just HOW did they figure this was a size 6 garment when the waist was clearly made for a size 10?  Furthermore, if her contention was that this actually was a size six, HOW was I supposed to wear them on my size six body without giving a peepshow to the world???

She looked at me as though I were daft and said, "wear a belt."

Now I realize that this may have seemed fairly intuitive, but have you ever tried to cinch 6 inches of denim with a belt?  Besides, who wears belts with jean shorts??

Grr, argh.

~Linda, circus-freak-in-boxers  
Ron
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Member Rara Avis
since 05-19-99
Posts 9708
Michigan, US


10 posted 06-03-2004 10:40 PM       View Profile for Ron   Email Ron   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ron's Home Page   View IP for Ron

Suspenders?
Nan
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Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


11 posted 06-04-2004 07:12 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

...Picturing Linda in her new low-rider jeans - holding them up with suspenders...

BTW - Buying one in every color is one of Mysteria's trademarks.  You've been shopping with her too, haven't you???...
Allysa
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since 11-09-1999
Posts 2307
In an upside-down garden


12 posted 06-04-2004 12:03 PM       View Profile for Allysa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allysa

Have you ever tried thrifting? Most of the thrift stores that I go to have everything I could ever dream of, in a multitude of sizes. "Trusty" old clothes would most likely be found there, and most of them are brand new or barely used. Plus, I got 6 pairs of almost brand new jeans for under $15 dollars, so the prices are awesome as well.  Hope this helps.
Copperbell
Senior Member
since 11-08-2003
Posts 952


13 posted 06-13-2004 08:57 PM       View Profile for Copperbell   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Copperbell

rofl

skyshine
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
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since 02-07-2002
Posts 3337
Beneath the northern stars


14 posted 06-14-2004 05:58 PM       View Profile for skyshine   Email skyshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit skyshine's Home Page   View IP for skyshine

What do you mean, clothing designers never heard of bubble butts? That's what a lot of styles are MADE for these days (thank goodness!).

~sky

Hold on, if you feel like letting go
Hold on, it gets better than you know....
~Good Charlotte

Juju
Member Elite
since 12-29-2003
Posts 3353
In your dreams


15 posted 06-15-2004 01:03 PM       View Profile for Juju   Email Juju   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Juju's Home Page   View IP for Juju

wac.......... women against @#@@# (I don't know if its a bad word or not ok?) I have a small waist and big but too. I want low riders to go out of style so every time I sit down I don't have to worry......... Well you know.
Its very embarressing.
Juju
Tequilia_Sunrise
Senior Member
since 02-19-2003
Posts 618
Lochalsh, Ontario, Canada


16 posted 07-05-2004 03:15 AM       View Profile for Tequilia_Sunrise   Email Tequilia_Sunrise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Tequilia_Sunrise

lol i undrestand
Juju
Member Elite
since 12-29-2003
Posts 3353
In your dreams


17 posted 07-05-2004 06:31 PM       View Profile for Juju   Email Juju   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Juju's Home Page   View IP for Juju

Yes I am not alone!

-Juju
*Alli4000*
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since 03-21-2004
Posts 3212
The World of Poetry


18 posted 07-05-2004 06:49 PM       View Profile for *Alli4000*   Email *Alli4000*   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for *Alli4000*

Linda, lol!! Don't worry, this always happens to me!

~Alli~
Magicmystery
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since 02-13-2002
Posts 935
Windsor, Ontario, Canada


19 posted 07-06-2004 08:33 PM       View Profile for Magicmystery   Email Magicmystery   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Magicmystery's Home Page   View IP for Magicmystery

"all clothes makers think large ladies stop at 5 feet 5"

Michelle, I would like to know where you are shopping... I can't find anything for a 3x that was made for anyone under 5'10".... Just once, I would like to go into a shop and pull a pair of jeans in MY size off the rack that doesn't drag 5 inches of cuff on the ground or make me feel like I am wearing my crotch halfway to my knees...

And bras.... there's another sad story I won't even go into other than to say that the Underwire was invented by a man who got pleasure from tearing to shreds the undersides of women's arms.

I know I gotta loose some weight but how do I excercise when no one makes heavy woman's clothes that you would feel comfortable sweating in?!?!?!
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


20 posted 07-06-2004 08:39 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

speaking of bras?

My friend just confided that her eighteen year old daughter asked for one of her old brassiers.

Why, you might ask.

(I did.)

It seems that her daughter and her daughter's boyfriend are already planning a Halloween costume for a party they are attending.

They are dressing as a two headed monster and want to use my friend's bra for base to papier mache a head piece.

Sheesh.

(My friend told her no. She didn't want them that close together all night. )

Now I know this is off topic, but I couldn't find any place else to tell the story.

Jeffrey Carter
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 04-08-2000
Posts 2424
State of constant confusion!


21 posted 07-06-2004 10:41 PM       View Profile for Jeffrey Carter   Email Jeffrey Carter   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jeffrey Carter

Dang Karen, that must be one BIG bra! LOL
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


22 posted 07-07-2004 03:45 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Jeffrey?

I keep telling my friends that they don't know what they're missing on the internet.

If they ever find out, I may be in trouble.

(at least this time I didn't use Frankie's name)

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


23 posted 07-07-2004 03:45 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


24 posted 07-07-2004 03:46 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

 
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