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Big Sisters!!

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ESP
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since 01-25-2000
Posts 2574
Floating gently on a cloud....


0 posted 02-23-2004 08:04 PM       View Profile for ESP   Email ESP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ESP

Ok everyone, be warned, y'all are going to think I am a daft, ungrateful idiot. However, here goes:

I'm going home for the easter holidays in 3 weeks. Thing is, my sister, 3 years older than I, has decided she will go home too. We are both in different parts of England and our parents are in Botswana. Anyway, the thing is, my sis and I do not get on well for long periods of time (long being more than 2 or 3 days...). So though there will be some nice things like we will be together as a family for once (almost never are) and she and I will go riding together. All good. But there are some issues, sibling issues...
She bosses me around something chronic. Its all very well when we are in different parts of the country, I can go visit her, have her tell me how I should dress, how I should behave, etc etc etc and then leave after those 2/3 days and do exactly what I was going to do/was doing in the first place. But if we are going to be there for 3 weeks together, she will drive me mental. Then there is the usual sisterly rubbish: She will monopolize the best seats in the lounge, she will displace me as the dogs' number one distraction, she will invade my workplace (and this is no joke: I have a 4000 word essay, a 5000 word essay and two 2500 word essays to write over Easter). Besides which, she is the partying type and has already said she wants to drag me out clubbing and what not while she is there. Thing is, a) it's not my scene and b) I go home to spend time with the family, not go out all night and sleep all day..not to mention need to get some work done.
Oh yeah and she will always claim her rights over the front seat in the car when we go out with my mum.
Guess what: We are 20 and 23 years old respectively and it sounds like a fifteen year old rant!!!!! So either I sit back and take it all and do my best to remain calm and just let her have her own way as per, or I retaliate a bit and get hell for it...which = a lose, lose situation!
I'd be quite happy if she just let me be and didnt try to change me all the time...that and didnt interrogate me on what Im doing and why etc
Meh, sorry for wasting your time with this childishness but I wanted to get it out of my system!!!
Thing is, I do love her to bits and we do get along well, but like I say...*short* periods of time, cos else she drives me mad!!!

"Time has told me not to ask for more, one day our ocean will find its shore" ~Nick Drake

Ringo
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since 02-20-2003
Posts 3696
Saluting with misty eyes


1 posted 02-23-2004 08:48 PM       View Profile for Ringo   Email Ringo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ringo

ESP- This is something that's NOT going to get better unless you adress it... before you guys start the ranting and confronting... take her to the local for a pint (or a half-pint) and get it out... and then if she still doesn't get over herself and insists on being her normal self, tell nher to stop being such a pratt and walk away...
I had to do it with my YOUNGER brother. He has done better financially than I have, and as a result, when he comes home (I moved back home to assist my mother with some medical issues) He insists that he knows best with his more superior knowledge (His webmd.com vs. my being an advanced level EMT for 15 years), and he feels that he has the right to interfere because it is HIS mother...
Well, after a really huge fight that ended up causing over $2000 damage to the kitchen, He stopped being such an idiot.
I am NOT suggesting that you beat your sister into submission, just that you get it fixed NOW.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur
built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


2 posted 03-01-2004 07:39 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

I'm also the "younger" sister.  My sister happens to be a mere 18 months older than I - but she STILL knows everything best, ya know??  I surely know of what you speak...

You're grown up now - not kids any longer, so it's time for some changes, isn't it?

You have two choices.  You can ignore her bossiness... But then what happens?  Nothing changes.  She'll continue in her life-long ways.  She's been the biggest, oldest, wisest for the past 20 years, and it's a comfy place for her.  She'll continue as long as you allow it (even longer on a more subtle level)...

Or - You can address it immediately.  It's probably a good time for that, too.  If you bring your concerns out into the open with her, she might not even realize she's been doing it.  It's just a way of life for her.  She's older, you're younger.  Ergo she must know more?  I bet she doesn't realize what she's been doing all your life.  It's inherent in most sibling relationships, and it often follows us throughout our lives.

My suggestion is to start deprogramming her now. You'll both be happier for it, and you'll enjoy each other's company more.

Whatever you choose to do (and it is your choice)... Enjoy your vacation... and write some good poetry...
ESP
Member Elite
since 01-25-2000
Posts 2574
Floating gently on a cloud....


3 posted 03-02-2004 03:54 PM       View Profile for ESP   Email ESP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ESP

I have tried talking to her about it. But she knows best on this topic to :-| Anyway I dont even care about this stuff anymore, things are driving me mad at the moment. I don't know how much longer I will be able to cope. I wish sibling biz was my only problem, I'd be so happy. But thanks for your kind comments, dear Ringo and Nan.
Liz.

"Time has told me not to ask for more, one day our ocean will find its shore" ~Nick Drake

 
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