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Passions in Poetry

Privacy and Respect

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Soleil Noir
Senior Member
since 12-19-2001
Posts 707

0 posted 07-15-2003 09:09 AM       View Profile for Soleil Noir   Email Soleil Noir   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Soleil Noir


“The saint and poet seek privacy to ends the most public and universal.”  Emerson, “Culture”, The Conduct of Life (1860)

“The hedge between keeps friendship green.”  German Proverb.


How do you feel about privacy?  Do you believe it is right to go through another’s desk at work?  At home?  Do you believe a husband should know everything about his wife?  Vice versa?

Do you go through your husband’s wallet if he does nothing suspicious?  Do you inspect his desk and personal files?  

Husbands?  Do you rummage through your wife’s purse?  Her closet?  Drawers?



“If you have some respect for people as they are, you can be more effective in helping them to become better than they are.”  John W. Gardner, No Easy Victories (1968)

“Without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish men from beasts?” Confucius, Analects, 6th C., B.C.

What are your thoughts on respect?  Do you want to be treated as you treat others?  


I believe respect and privacy go hand in hand, much as the way respect and tolerance are upheld here at Passions.  But what happens when these two factions are adhered by one in a marriage, and not by the other?  

How do you handle situations such as this?

[This message has been edited by Soleil Noir (07-15-2003 09:54 AM).]

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839

1 posted 07-15-2003 09:26 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

I used my husband's laptop for two years and never once peeked at his mail.

(I simply didn't WANT to know.)
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986

2 posted 07-15-2003 09:37 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

The kind of invasion of privacy you are talking about comes from the other person needing to have control... this kind of person feels they have to know everything so that they can be in control of all thats going on...they dont have trust or respect for anything that goes against what they want. They are possessive and feel they are entitled to know every breath and thought the other person has... no respect for personal space, for independance...usually they are very insecure in themselves and want to make the other person feel the same way.

Without respect and is just another four letter word.  
Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York

3 posted 07-15-2003 01:15 PM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing

I would never - have never looked except one thing I did do was I have this girlfriend who is obsessive-compulsive and her house was like toothbrush clean no matter when I stopped over - NO MATTER WHAT - I mean I could put my makeup on in her microwave - so I went into the bathroom and ran my fingers on the top the of window pane figuring hehe this will be dusty and damn you know it was clean a s a whistle
*backing away slowly and looking for a feather duster*
Moonlight Romeo
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 09-10-2001
Posts 1122
The heart of you

4 posted 07-15-2003 04:49 PM       View Profile for Moonlight Romeo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Moonlight Romeo

Well said Janet Marie.  I agree totally.

Thank you.

Peace is the only battle worth waging.
--- Albert Camus

since 01-09-2004
Posts 71
Dallas, Texas

5 posted 01-09-2004 08:07 PM       View Profile for Brad_Smith   Email Brad_Smith   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Brad_Smith

yes yall all speak the truth. I reaped the reprecussions of such a violation of trust. not pretty not easy to mend.
Klassy Lassy
Member Elite
since 06-28-2005
Posts 2181

6 posted 02-21-2006 11:14 PM       View Profile for Klassy Lassy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Klassy Lassy

I respect another's privacy.  Truth will surface, and I have learned that it is not always easy to digest...perhaps that is why we learn to take it with a grain of salt?  LOL  Going through personal effects of a loved one is not my style.  Too much familiarity breeds comtempt, so the old saying goes...especially if you don't respect someone's space.  

~ Karen ~
Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 10-12-2004
Posts 6334

7 posted 02-24-2006 10:24 PM       View Profile for Huan Yi   Email Huan Yi   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Huan Yi

Question: what is it that is so important
that it should/must be kept private
particularly against a man/woman and woman/man
in marriage?

Member Ascendant
since 08-20-99
Posts 5896
Jejudo, South Korea

8 posted 02-25-2006 04:05 PM       View Profile for Brad   Email Brad   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Brad

Answer: Without secrets, there is no trust.
Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 10-12-2004
Posts 6334

9 posted 02-25-2006 05:59 PM       View Profile for Huan Yi   Email Huan Yi   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Huan Yi

Rejoinder: “Life is like a box of chocolates”
and “Love is never having to say you’re sorry.”
Member Elite
since 12-29-2003
Posts 3353
In your dreams

10 posted 02-26-2006 03:52 PM       View Profile for Juju   Email Juju   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Juju's Home Page   View IP for Juju

"with out secrets there is no trust..."

Unless you don't do anything that there would need to be a secret.

It is always sad to hear such things, because sometimes it is true, but life is so complicated that relationships are defined by us.  We choose how to have them and we make the choices.  Some how we end up making everything hurtful.  I try to make as simple relationships as possable with friends, because it seems that everyone is happier when I don't hurt them and make things complicated.  Funny how hard it is not to hurt others when it is easier to do what you want.


*    Juju     *

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