'I don't think that makes a woman more of a lady at all in most cases, but it doesn't mean she is not a lady for those choices. If in her truth she has esteem, seeks honour and dignity she is a lady; if she has not or seeks none of these and has no shame for that, she is not a gentlewoman at all, to a noble mind.'
there is a definite connotation with the word 'ladylike'- that connotation is a quiet, gentle, pretty woman who doesn't raise her voice or burp in public or put her needs in front of the needs of others...
And besides, you are using biased terms. Honor? Dignity? Those things, to you and I, are obviously quite different things- and Ron's right. No person has the right to define morals for another person, or jusge them based on that. In my opinion, the only morality for which there can even be the argument for universal good vs. bad is the idea that you shouldn't willfully hurt other people. But even that is fuzzy, situational, and relative (IMO).
I seek honor and dignity in my own way. But, as my definitions of these terms are quite different than yours, and (far from shame) I feel only an immense pride in having my own individual morality, am I no longer a 'lady'?