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Kielo
Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109


0 posted 2002-09-14 01:14 AM



I really can't stand it when I meet someone and they decide they like me because I'm funny. I have no ability to be funny, usually, and on the rare occasions that I am, I make all these friends. Then they decide I'm boring because I'm not funny anymore. Gah... I get this internal dialogue that goes something like this...

"Come on, make them laugh, you look like and idiot."

"But I'm not funny."

"No, you aren't. You're boring."

"Yah, you're probably right."

"Yes, I know."

Its very depressing.

I need something I can hurt. Very frustrated.

© Copyright 2002 Jeremiah Leonard - All Rights Reserved
Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
1 posted 2002-09-14 02:01 AM


Kielo,
You're still working at being you! Nothing wrong with that. And you don't always have to be "on". Obviously you are funny, just not all the time.

I have a similar challenge. When I choose not to be funny people think something is wrong. Tired? Sad? Moody? Nope...just not "on".

It seems that you put pressure on yourself to be "on". And then you find you fail. Don't be so hard on yourself and you'll likely be "on" more often with less effort.

But then again, I'm just an old fart so...
Oh, and one more thing, perspective matters. Be positive...always.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Kielo
Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109

2 posted 2002-09-14 01:51 PM


Its not so much that I try to be "on," as much as it bothers me that people expect it of me. I agree with everything you said. I can't simply be funny whenever I want. Its just frustrating. *shrugs* And I don't care if you're an old fart, because old people are smarter than me.

Kielo

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2002-09-14 02:31 PM


You know, I do understand this--I call it "tap dancing"--in my family? I could not get attention by being bad--my brothers and sisters had that territory well covered--so I became "the entertainer"--my dark side tends to come out in my writing--so? I don't let it bother me--my true friends will let me cry when I wanna cry, and they know that once I've cried enough, I'll get up to boogy again...life is circle spiraling, after all.

There's a poetic challenge for you!

Kielo
Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109

4 posted 2002-09-14 03:02 PM


*hits self on head for not coming her more often* If I'd had access to this kind of wisdom 3 or 4 years ago, life would have been so much easier. Thank you.

[This message has been edited by Kielo (09-14-2002 05:29 PM).]

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2002-09-14 05:57 PM



Kielo...that's called "growing up"...which many of us [including the Serene One] sometimes struggle with doing...simply because we're doing it much to fast!  That's why we stand up and dance now and then!

[This message has been edited by Sunshine (09-14-2002 05:58 PM).]

Kielo
Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109

6 posted 2002-09-15 06:01 PM


HOBBES! *grabs him and runs away*

*comes back, after hiding Hobbes* Oh. Ok, thanks. People tell me I've grown up too fast, but I didn't really have much choice in the matter, so I guess it doesn't matter. I'm feeling much better today, so thank you all!

Kielo

TradingSpaces19
Member
since 2002-08-31
Posts 134
Arvada, Colorado
7 posted 2002-09-21 11:42 AM


Well don't get to dicouraged because when people realize that they really liked you for you and not because they thought you were funny than they will realize that they have just lost a good friend and they will probably never get them back and they will be the ones hurting. Anyways I hope everything else is well.

Take care,
Andrea

Moon Dust
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK
8 posted 2002-09-22 11:21 AM


hey people expect alot from other people as well. having the same probs at mo learning the same lessons

If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come?

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