Wow, Tough situation. I know the feeling. My son is 16. And his dad just shows up out of the blue on a Harley! I said nothing. My son said it all. Believe me, it's harder for them to stand up to a childs innocence and face that, when they have hard questions and want real answers. If his dad makes it through that I feel he's earned his way into his life again. Which I wouldn't want to be him right now! As for my daughter though..She is 12..and emotionally she can't handle it. So I have to protect her, not from him, but from herself. She is very self blaming. Divorce causes such scars. So we've cried.. a lot! But I have to be strong for her till she can make the decision on her own. She feels comfortable with the fact that I won't keep him away, but I will let her call all the shots. And if he can't abide by that he can hit the road again! As long as he doesn't play any emotional games with her. You know, the "You're my little sweetie pie, and I'm gonna make you the center of my world" If that was true, then He never would have abandoned her. I don't encourage anything. I'm just paying deep attention to their feelings and listening to them really hard! I hope you fair this well. I feel for you and your children. Hang in there Marilyn. Trust your good mother heart. They have to get to know the kids again. They don't know who they are or who they've become. And most probably won't make it once they find out. If they think they can just make up for lost time, they are literally kidding themselves and will run from the pressure. If they don't, then I think they really know their mistakes. God bless!