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Passions in Poetry

on a roll

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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


25 posted 08-18-99 04:38 AM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

Ohhhh, I get it now...well, here all this time I thought that stuff was for writing on when you were doing your business... no wonder all my poems are so crappy (bad boy Chris!) Well if that's what it's used for, then I have to vote for the bottom feeders. Granted, it may be a little harder to find at times, but hey, you're POETS, what's a little challenge? (besides, if I have it roll from the top, my kitty-cats have a tendancy to roll it around the house... in one looooonnngggg string!)

BOTTOM
BOTTOM
BOTTOM
BOTTOM



------------------
Sanity is the playground for the unimaginative.



[This message has been edited by Christopher (edited 08-18-99).]
Dragoness
Senior Member
since 08-07-99
Posts 525


26 posted 08-18-99 07:22 AM       View Profile for Dragoness   Email Dragoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Dragoness's Home Page   View IP for Dragoness

Ok enough of this.

If toilet papers white or plain
How you hang it's all the same
But if you prefer a design to see
Top's is the only way to be.


I really don't care one way or the other.As long as I don't have to scream from the bathroom for someone to bring a new roll in!
------------------
Set you heart free and your mind will follow.


[This message has been edited by Dragoness (edited 08-18-99).]
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


27 posted 08-18-99 07:27 AM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

I'm completely confused?.....I've never really thought about it?...Now, I do know some engineers I could ask?....Hmmmm.....I know this would be much more important to you ladies cuz of the constant use....and, then again, Balladeer and LongJohn are so "full of it"..they may have a good reason to consider this?....I would think it really doesn't matter as long as ya got some?....And for you ladies, when ya run out...ya gotta just "Shake the Dew off the lily?".....Okay....off the top....that sounds like a great guess....

[This message has been edited by Toerag (edited 08-18-99).]
Alicat
Member Elite
since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


28 posted 08-18-99 10:34 AM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

I am stunned.
Now, I realize that alley's are natural depositories for waste paper, but this has gone critical.

I gotta have it from the top so I can bat at it when I feel so inclined. If I try this from the other side, I tend to scrape my claws on the tile, making that little high-pitched, spine-chilling, nails on shale noise. Makes my fur stand on end.


Alicat the persnikitty
Sally S.
Senior Member
since 06-07-99
Posts 887
Ohio


29 posted 08-18-99 01:11 PM       View Profile for Sally S.   Email Sally S.   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sally S.

(giggling)
Hey LngJhn....What's the name of that therapist??? Seems I'm not the only one here that could use one. LOL

I have another question for you bottom feeders.... Do you do the same thing with paper towels??? You know, they design those things to roll off the top and my soon to be X INSISTS on putting it on upside down. (He's a bottom feeder too..:P :P)
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 06-16-99
Posts 3968
In the space between moments


30 posted 08-18-99 04:48 PM       View Profile for Alwye   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alwye

LOL!!! I am laughing so hard I'm nearly crying!!! My vote: TOP!!!!!! You bottom feeders are very odd, I say. I may be able to somewhat tolerate TP upside down (although it bugs the heck out of me), but defintely not paper towels!! If you bottom people do that backwards too I'll be forced to come to each and every one of your houses and put it back right!!!

OK, umm..maybe I need to talk to my shrink about this...*Grins*

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

"If I could be an angel, I'd make your every wish come true. But I am only human, just a woman lovin' you..." Trisha Yearwood

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


31 posted 08-18-99 05:23 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Paper towels - all white, from the bottom. At least I'm consistant....
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


32 posted 08-18-99 07:51 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Thankyou for acknowledging us stunning bottom-feeders! We're not weird! Not at all. And where does it say it's designed to be rolled from the top?
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


33 posted 08-18-99 08:28 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Paper towels? TP? They're NOT the same? OMG - what about Saran Wrap???? Not it too!!!

Hint for Heloise...

Dear Heloise, my helpful friend,
I have a new wonderful hint.
When you need TP and you are out,
(caused by a bottom feeder, no doubt).

You can skip a day or three,
Let things harden, wait and see.
You'll recover and feel much better,
By switching to a Black and Decker.

I start with hundred grit, no more,
To work it down til I get sore.
For finishing work, I get the rest,
With 220 grit, which works the best.

All of this work can be eschewed,
If from the top you roll then use.
But if you prefer to roll from bottom,
Use Black & Decker, if you got 'em.
Ladycat
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 07-05-99
Posts 809
At the edge and a doorway,TX


34 posted 08-19-99 12:42 PM       View Profile for Ladycat   Email Ladycat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ladycat's Home Page   View IP for Ladycat

Let's put it like this.. Even when my husband puts toliet paper back on the roll, (yes, my husband actually does that,amazed?)
We are both top dispensing people..
So that would be two more.. One for Ladycat and one for Darquewing.
For all of you bottom dispensing people, put the paper down and move away from the toliet.. I will show you how to do it the right way..
Mental note, don't use the recycled stuff unless you want to feel like you are wiping with tree bark, which in some cases would be better than that recycled stuff..
One other thing, I just wanted to know what kind of drugs that Alicat is using? You can never miss batting at the toliet paper.. You are an out of practice Cat and you are going back to Bad Kitty training school..

Love,
Lady

------------------
Live in my world just once and you'll find yourself enraptured.


But Ladycat....I likes being a bad kitty.


[This message has been edited by Ladycat (edited 08-19-99).]

[This message has been edited by Alicat (edited 08-19-99).]
Colin
Senior Member
since 06-05-99
Posts 612
Callington, Cornwall, England


35 posted 08-19-99 06:31 PM       View Profile for Colin   Email Colin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Colin

Well, we brits haven't discovered toilet paper yet... we have squares of torn up newspaper spiked on a nail banged into the back of the door, so I guess I am a side feeder.

btw... for my real answer, I need some help... is it top or bottom feeding when the paper hangs down the back next to the wall? that's hoew I do it anyway. PLEASE tell me, am I a top or bottom feeder, cos this has been bugging me *8)
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


36 posted 08-20-99 12:02 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Eric dear - join the clan! You are an almighty bottom feeder!!!
elvira
Senior Member
since 07-06-99
Posts 985
California


37 posted 08-20-99 05:34 AM       View Profile for elvira   Email elvira   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for elvira





[This message has been edited by elvira (edited 08-22-99).]
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


38 posted 08-20-99 08:16 AM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

elvira

On behalf of all Alley lurkers, thank you for brining this issue to our forum. Its about time we started dealing with these differences! How else are we to become tolerant of one another if we don't talk about these things in an open, honest, caring manner?

I've been reading the posts carefully, analyzing every nuance for hidden meanings, and from this careful study, I've been able to conclude that many of the "bottom feeders" want to reform and come over to our side. You have done the world a wonderful service, Ms. elvira - thank you.
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


39 posted 08-20-99 10:39 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

As a bottom feeder I revel in my rebellion! I am different! I do not follow the leming-like top feeders - white bread eaters - rule followers! Different? You betcha! Gonna change? NEVER! I yam who I yam as Popeye said.
sea_of_okc
Senior Member
since 06-15-99
Posts 595
Oklahoma City, OK, USA


40 posted 08-20-99 12:04 PM       View Profile for sea_of_okc   Email sea_of_okc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sea_of_okc

Absolutely positively without any doubt
TOP!!!!!!!!!!!

I will even flip it if i come across one that dispenses from the bottom because it annoys me soooooo much.
Majere
Junior Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 34


41 posted 08-20-99 02:52 PM       View Profile for Majere   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Majere

Personally, I LOVE it on the TOP!

------------------
Such is the way to immortality ;)

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


42 posted 08-20-99 03:01 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

My dear sweet lil Poet deVine,
You are a rebel out of your time.
Tis clear, my dear,
You harken to when,
Perfume was a must, even for men.

Now in those dark, paperless days,
Bottom or top or even sideways,
Twas rare back there,
To have paper at all,
To use for 'that' in the powder room stall.

You rue the rebellious lines you penned.
But we forgive you, we welcome you in.
You're here my dear
No cause to rebel,
Convert to the top! We'll treat you well.


(private note for elvira - DO NOT READ) psst, elvira... I think deVine bought my pretty prose. She'll be sure to turn traitor to her fellow bottom feeders. Get ready to read her abdication from the bottom feeding clan. She'll be joining our group any minute now.... any minute..... get ready to change the score... any minute....


[This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (edited 08-20-99).]
Ladycat
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 07-05-99
Posts 809
At the edge and a doorway,TX


43 posted 08-20-99 05:00 PM       View Profile for Ladycat   Email Ladycat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ladycat's Home Page   View IP for Ladycat

You missed one elvira.. You missed my husband Darquewing.. DeVine, come over to the darkside.. It's calling your name.. Top Feeder.. Top Feeder.. Alicat, if you edit my post again, I'm going to.. I'm going to put tape on your back paws and make you walk around like that all day.. How do you like them apples? Ali, you know that I wouldn't do anything like that to you.. What I would really do it tie a ball to a string and then tie it to you so that you would have to chase it all day.. hehehe

Love,
Lady

------------------
Live in my world just once and you'll find yourself enraptured.


Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


44 posted 08-20-99 10:42 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

It is a commonly held professional opinion, that those who roll their T.P. from the top are in reality suffering from severe mental disorders, stemming from poor toilet training as children. They are insecure and forced to make themselves feel better by browbeating others. The "toppness" of their toilet behavior is simply a defensive measure used to reassure themselves that they are not as inferior as they really are. Their Id is in conflict with their Ego, resulting in poor sanitary habits. We should really feel sorry for them and put a pool together to fund their therapy.

BOTTOM!!!
BOTTOM!!!
BOTTOM!!!
BOTTOM!!!
BOTTOM!!!



------------------
Sanity is the playground for the unimaginative.



[This message has been edited by Christopher (edited 08-20-99).]
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


45 posted 08-21-99 12:23 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine





I shall never surrender to the dark forces!
All rise and sing the "Battle Hymn of the Bottom Feeders" :

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the roll
It is neatly tucked behind, so it's easier to dole
Let us roll to make wipes easier
Let us roll to make more sense
Our bottoms roll along!
Glory, glory bottom feeders
Glory, glory bottom feeders
Glory, glory bottom feeders
Keep our bottoms free!




[This message has been edited by Poet deVine (edited 08-21-99).]

[This message has been edited by Poet deVine (edited 08-21-99).]
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


46 posted 08-21-99 06:13 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

I have to confess this - we bottom-feeders do seriously seem to be on the defensive. Hmmm - WE NEED MORE RECRUITS!
Miss Behavin'
Member
since 06-16-99
Posts 94


47 posted 08-21-99 06:47 AM       View Profile for Miss Behavin'   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Miss Behavin'

TOP 'O The MORNIN'
To Ya....




[This message has been edited by Miss Behavin' (edited 08-21-99).]
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


48 posted 08-21-99 08:15 AM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

deVine

OMG - have you no sense of honor???? Have you no sense of decency??? Are you really that low?? Who told you I was a sucker for that glorious song?? Was it Lorelei???

elvira...HELP!!!!

I don't know if I can hold out against the Battle Hymn of the Public Toilet.... I'm slipping fast...faster....erk... must change to bottom... must change.... Glory glory haleluia.... slipping fast.... save me elvira... deVine ..was... too.. much... for ..me.. to .. resist........

Christopher... I agree... I need therapy... please send me your credit card number and expiration date... I'm sure your allies will reimburse you... ;-)

[This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (edited 08-21-99).]
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


49 posted 08-21-99 08:35 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Hey LngJhnAg - aren't i just the teeniest bit persuasive too....? CHANGE NOW!!!
 
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