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Open Poetry #19
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wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

0 posted 2002-04-02 08:33 PM



I.

You and me kid,
we got a lot in common
We're both carrying our sentence
and may get off sooner
that is
if we exhibit good behavior.

You've got eight years
and I've got life
(with a vague chance for parole)
Still, though, not much has changed,
Atari's joystick
Is X Box's controller.
Darryl Strawberry, back in jail.  
But we can still talk about those mighty Yanks
and I can beat you at NFL Fever.

The front yard has a phantom trail
of back-and-forths.
Fall is oblong and Summer's round    
and somewhere in between,
we shoot hoops in the drive.
And H E double hockey sticks,
we can laugh about
behind your mothers back.  

I bet you don't have a Mini-van one
in that Hot Wheels collection of yours.
And I do enjoy being right
when we count train cars passing by

II.  

The toy store potty dance-
got it all mapped out.
The fastest route
to the hottest toys.

You take a right
and I'll go straight,
then a veer to the left.  

I love Superstores
and big screen TVs,
to return just in time
and try to convince you
that Princess Leia
is the right way to go
even though Natalie Portman
is much more of a sculpted babe.

III.

I work and you play…
I come home and sit around
and you become the remote control.
Do you see me rub my hands,
and count the years til you can
Mow,
Drive,
Earn a paycheck?

Shortsighted dad,
I may be
but I’ve been counting
since those diapers stank.

I discount your day as play.
I bet you go there to get away.
That red brick school
my parents couldn’t afford,
and neither can I.
Some other Hand provides
and we both eat from it-
blindly.

Fold the clothes,
Do the dishes.
Why’s this house always a mess!

IV.

All I have to say
is don’t tell your mother
about the cigarette you just saw
you’ll grow up someday and understand.

You and me kid
til the bitter end.

© Copyright 2002 Walt Burns - All Rights Reserved
catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
1 posted 2002-04-02 08:42 PM


Good write, Walt. Together to the end,I like that.
Sandra

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
2 posted 2002-04-02 08:47 PM


Ah, Walt ... I feel like I just snuck in, and overheard the most honest and memorable conversation between a father and his dear son. This was delightful, truly ... much enjoyed.

Best wishes,
/Kit

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2002-04-02 08:52 PM


Walt, this is a very honest and endearing write! *Still trying to kick that smoking habit I see*   I feel as though I have been eavesdropping on a private father/son conversation.  Very well done!  Nancy.
wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
4 posted 2002-04-02 08:54 PM


thanks you three yuh more than i can say
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

5 posted 2002-04-02 09:26 PM


I'm sorry to have tiptoed in on this wonderful conversation, but it was just so wonderful I couldn't resist.....extremely well done Walt...

On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free.
~Me~

(I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~Garth)

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
6 posted 2002-04-02 09:39 PM


There's more honesty in this poem than in any I've read from you in a long time!! Excellent poem!
Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
7 posted 2002-04-02 09:47 PM


Love the style of this one Walt. I can just imagine a dad saying all this to his son. Good on ya!!

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
8 posted 2002-04-02 09:49 PM


another three smiles for the reads thanks yuh
elisaseyes
Member
since 1999-07-15
Posts 196
fort worth texas
9 posted 2002-04-02 10:10 PM


What are you teaching my boys?

Unlike alot of poetry, this actually rings true at our house. You put life into words well!

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
10 posted 2002-04-02 10:34 PM


WOW,
Roundin' the corner and goin' for more...oh, alright that is probably enough honesty for one night pops. Kids always respect the truth...they usually see it anyway. Well done daddy-o.

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
11 posted 2002-04-02 11:28 PM


Thank you for bringing the dessert! I am so glad I stopped in. What a wonderful painting of a good and generous love. ThisDiamond
Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

12 posted 2002-04-03 01:55 AM


Hey...got room for one more?
Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
13 posted 2002-04-03 08:31 AM


:

(sigh) Awwwwwww, I too felt that I was hearing a conversation between son and father outside an open window, this is wonderful and filled with both sensitivity and humor! (big hugggsssssss) This is absolutely wonderful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Walter, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
14 posted 2002-04-03 08:44 AM


thanks guys o yuh!
Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
15 posted 2002-04-03 09:43 AM


Walt~
You be da coolest dad !
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
         noles1@totcon.com                    

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
16 posted 2002-04-03 09:48 AM



That understanding that a parent carries with one special child is something that time and tide cannot change, nor any scissor or knife ever cut loose....

well done Sir!

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
17 posted 2002-04-03 11:23 PM


He'll understand this when he gets older I'm sure.  Walt, this was such a fine poem,
you did good my friend!!  ck+ + + +

cruz
Member
since 2000-07-18
Posts 282
Dallas,Texas USA
18 posted 2002-04-03 11:44 PM


your kid is probably smart enough to understand this right now.  counting box cars, shooting hoops...whatever happened to ping pong and the quiet game (hehehh).  im glad yer not asleep, cuz yer cool and so is yer kid.


wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
19 posted 2002-04-03 11:48 PM


oooooooooooo yuh
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
20 posted 2002-04-04 01:27 PM


I love this, wow... thanks for allowing us to eavesdrop on a very special conversation. *S*

Do you see me rub my hands,
and count the years til you can
Mow,
Drive,
Earn a paycheck?

Shortsighted dad,
I may be
but I’ve been counting
since those diapers stank.

And in just moments, you'll be counting your fingers in bewilderment, wondering where the years went. *S* This is wonderful!!!

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

21 posted 2002-04-04 02:43 PM


wonderful write...really enjoyed.......
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