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Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

0 posted 2002-04-02 10:05 AM

You may walk slow or may be brisk,
You could be calm or you could frisk,
But, you enter at your own risk,
Thus it read at the gate of life.

Throwing all caution to the wind,
Thinking do it or be chagrined,
There being no sense to rescind,
He walked through the tall gate of life.

There it was, something never dreamt,
To comprehend it was an attempt,
So wasteful that laze came to tempt,
He slumbered by the gate of life.

Forty winks and few yawns later,
Out came a huge alligator,
Who lured, then pounced at matter,
He met death at the gate of life.

His conceit led him to be frisked,
That he chose to downplay the risk,
Should rather have walked slow than brisk,
When he went through the gate of life.

Should have read the signs at the gate,
Rather than trust the hands of fate,
A folly, understood too late,
Once he ran past the gate of life!

...

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

1 posted 2002-04-02 10:19 AM

Sudhir~

'He slumbered by the gate of life.'

A little folly with a profound message tucked inside~
Good to see you, friend~
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

2 posted 2002-04-02 10:21 AM

interesting images and flow... not your usual style but an expansion that seems to suit you well...

I enjoyed

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

3 posted 2002-04-02 11:37 AM

you have some of the best "turns of phrase" I have ever read

Well done my friend.

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

Soleil Noir
Senior Member

since 2001-12-19

Posts 688
USA

4 posted 2002-04-02 11:50 AM

Quite an enjoyable read Sudhir...good job!

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

5 posted 2002-04-02 01:15 PM

Messages with humor,wrapped up in a brilliant write.

Sandra

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

6 posted 2002-04-02 03:05 PM

(sigh) Wow, I just love the transition of emotions in this poem, sweet friend, it seemed every stanza he was getting closer to the gate and recognizing the significance of it! (big hugggsssss) This is wonderful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sudhir, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

7 posted 2002-04-02 03:24 PM

brilliant writing. well done Sudhir....

On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free.
~Me~

(I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~Garth)

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

8 posted 2002-04-02 03:47 PM

ah, now I like this my friend. . . a good flow and rhyme scheme, and a very interesting story and moral to boot. . .

well done. . .

---------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

9 posted 2002-04-02 04:18 PM

Sudhir~

I found this very i nteresting...and a good right....enjoyed...

Lauren~

~Greeneyes~

Step through the
barrier of my mind,
enter my soul,
feel my desire,
let my eyes guide you
into th

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

10 posted 2002-04-03 04:23 AM

Thank you all so very much... you all are so very kind...

Regards,
Sudhir

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

11 posted 2002-04-04 05:20 AM

I enjoyed this one very much...a great write

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

12 posted 2002-04-04 01:41 PM

Should rather have walked slow than brisk,
When he went through the gate of life.

Should have read the signs at the gate,
Rather than trust the hands of fate,

I should have read this long ago, Sudhir... before my steps slowed, my eyes dimmed, and trust became only a memory. *S* I love the humorous twist to this good advice... well written!

2dalimit
Member Elite

since 2000-02-08

Posts 2228
Mississippi coast

13 posted 2002-04-04 01:52 PM

Excellent story line and rhyme.

Thanks,
Melton

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

14 posted 2002-04-05 05:31 AM

Thank you all, my dear friends... and

Many regards,
Sudhir

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