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Open Poetry #19
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Trapped Clouds (2of 3)
| Open Poetry #19 |
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Trapped Clouds (2of 3) |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
The clouds stayed most of the day Still Saturday brightened some From grey fogged beginnings And I stood in kitchen washing dishes Watching the shadows chase One then one other across the fields I busied myself with chores When you finally roused up The room and your taut mouth Tightened so that walls closed Over windows I let you be Continued with things I had long put off as if salvation Could be found in the act of doing, But then again, Anything beat the dwell of doubt Smothering with feather downed settle What hopes I had The day warmed And the sun did come out for a while Then night crept onto the floors And you lay down with the dog And I heard you say I’m trapped I asked what you had said, But you didn’t answer and all I could think of were how the clouds trapped the day [This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (04-01-2002 05:39 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
Marshalzu 
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Thank you for sharing such a wonderful poem  Andrew |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
And I heard you say I’m trapped I asked what you had said, But you didn’t answer and all I could think of were how the clouds trapped the day ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Amazing! Love how this continues on...may we see a third or have I missed it? I am very quickly becoming a big Cpat Hair fan! Hugs. ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ron It's sad washing dishes doesn't clean the emotional termoil that is so clear in this poem. Again, well done! |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
from new beginnings to old endings is what I got from this piece, sometimes the coulds do trap the sun. Good write. Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (sigh) This is indeed so very powerful, sweet friend, I too got the same impression of this poem as Kethry had, we can always go very far with our dreams and hopes when the sun is come out, but every now and then we will face storms we must weather and we must treat our goals like a bookmarked diary, and have the rose between the pages until the clouds pass then we will go on and fulfill our dreams after facing the now! (big huggsssssss) This is outstanding, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
You're hitting some nerves here!! I guess I won't ask how your weekend was! But I still like how you said it. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
It's a bad feeling, being trapped, and you have shown us this feeling with the tenderness of spiderwebs... |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Amazing writing... its wonderful the way you write... Regards, Sudhir |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Another beautiful piece..soft, evocative, sad...gently taking one thought and binding it around another - you've captured the essense of symbolism here... I wonder if you would consider making 'Smothering with feather downed settle' into 'Smothering with feather-downed settle' as grammatical K can't help mentioning it..heh.. My favourite part: The day warmed And the sun did come out for a while Then night crept onto the floors And you lay down with the dog And I heard you say I’m trapped  K |
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