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Open Poetry #19
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a quick reminder...
| Open Poetry #19 |
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a quick reminder... |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods 
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Sometimes it feels as if I haven’t learned anything at all. Because look: Here I am cradling the phone as if it were the end all of my heart… when really, it connects me to the shadow of a dependence I vowed to shrug off: cloak over my shoulders when I lay open and tired… felt like silk in the dark where melancholy is milked like a drug: sicksmile my heroine. rough burlap in moments when the needle is broken, or all other metaphoric traumas that simply mean I am shut out. I busted out laughing today when I wrote to tell you I liked this poem, and this, and how it distressed me to know I didn’t see everything as it is… how it distressed ME my smile, wry and child amused: I am so self-absorbed. Selfish even in revelation… and that everything must be poetry must seem beyond what is how everything in me is different: more: all troubles spotlighted with adolescent magnitude: my needs counterbalance everyone else’s in the world. Because when it happens, now, to this girl… Sudden tragedy. Believe, she laments, that this is real pain, this is true struggle, this is heartache, need; if before in the world no one has suffered, believe that now, now someone has… because (dramatic pause) because its happening to me another laugh, almost giddy. a sense of humor is important when dealing death to your less attractive qualities. So. More poetry, to tell it, tell it like it is and isn’t… how I’ll change, how I’ll torment and make fun … remind that if I revert, then, then I haven’t learned anything at all… my journey will not end in passive-aggressive hibernation: fetus awaiting birth, butterfly storing strength to break free... I will not settle in camouflage waiting for the monsters to pass… no. I’ll set fire to the veil, instead, wrap its remains around a stick, bear my torch with a 9mm and sweaty flexed biceps. Beat the holy crap out of the demons standing guard myself… Lora Croft style. Heh. Oh, and for theatrical purpose: ash of my cocoon grey ring on the grass.. the whispered death of faerie circle turned tangible. I will fight on. [This message has been edited by Elizabeth Cor (04-01-2002 02:59 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Megs - All Rights Reserved | |||
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
and you will........ i know you will..... as always.... your work is powerful, profound and so very precisely you and a bunch of other p words i can't alliterate at the moment aPPlause, the cause of you Peering through the blind of eyes who cannot see, Perfection the Please of you, Perhaps, Placated by the rap of a drum, the hum of a Pierce of arrow from cupid's bow, the Power of the Precision of words somehow garnished with a Passionate soul.... and i am Pleased to Peruse each word of you, each Pronunciation of your heart, the Pleasure is mine to be Part of those who can read your Penning....... |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
This is an amazing piece of self realization. Yes, you will fight on. And with words like this, you will do it very, very eloquently. Now I’m going back for another read of this one. If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please? |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
"ash of my cocoon grey ring on the grass.. the whispered death of faerie circle turned tangible. I will fight on." Yes! |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
You know, this is as exceptional (and I suppose I have my own tastes and definitions for that word) as a lot of your work is to me. This one pulled me in even more for some reason. The only problem I have with this is nearer to the end. Maybe I should read it again? It seems to jump a little too sharply in mood. Hope I've made some sense. enjoyed as always *jenn* How grave is my condition, for I cannot find the words to say, I need you so. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
WOW!, just Wow. Maree |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Excellent! |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Amazing!! |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
quote:by jove i think she's got it!!!  still though, the humor in this was so evident as to be obvious... or was it so obvious as to be evidence? no plus i suppose this 'drug' might be your 'hero'... still, you might want to call it something else... like, uhmm... heroin without the "e".  'i am hanging on every word you say' app that that's playing right now... you keep fighting, i'll keep hoping. hugs C PS (MSRGD!)*evil laugh* PSS still no plus |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
Okay, little tangent here - because this reminds me of something. Well, parts of it remind me of something. make up your mind, nic You know, when you dream (assuming you dream, some don't I hear.) you're standing there, and something totally dreadful is going to happen to someone you love - or not even dreadful, but *something* is going to happen, and you HAVE to communicate. HAVE to. So you try to yell - and you can hear yourself, it's so loud that it rings in your ears, it's SO loud that when you wake up you wonder in embarassment if you actually yelled. out. loud. But in this dream, they can't hear you - not even a squeek. Nothing but either a complete non-acknoledgement of what you just did, or this puzzled look on their face. And you try again...and again... and again... and the same thing, every time. The frustration of it burns so bad you think your hair's gonna light on fire from it. Because you think you're being so clear - that what you're trying to say is so friggin obvious that it's literally inconceivable that someone couldn't understand. I told you this was a tangent. And we're working on my longest reply post ever, I swear. But this is cool, because I don't usually come up with this much to say, and I'm totally interpreting it *my* way, which is not to say that that's how it *should* be interpreted. So, anyway, that whole train of thought brought me around to the understanding part. Because it reminded me of a personal experience - this person acted like they didn't understand. Whether they actually did or didn't was moot. They were intelligent enough that if they actually ACTIVELY listened to what I was saying, they would have understood, and I *knew* that. The crux of it was that they weren't trying to understand. Which is more hurtful than actually not understanding. They had more important things on their mind, or it wasn't important enough for them to actually hear me, that they just didn't. And acted like it was all me. And that's SO not okay. Whew - okay so that's what certain parts of this poem brought out - and I actually wrote it all out to demonstrate to what level of detail your writing skills go. Very few written things send me on thought trails like this. You shore got a nice pome thar missy! *giggle* I'll shaddup now. Leave room on the server for more important things, Nic, sheesh.  |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Oh my. I could write a novel from this, assuming I could write a novel, which I can't. Well done. Nan |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
I busted out laughing today when I wrote to tell you I liked this poem, and this, and how it distressed me to know I didn’t see everything as it is… how it distressed ME my smile, wry and child amused: I am so self-absorbed. Selfish even in revelation… This is an amazing poem. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
not much I can add to what has already been said, but to add my voice to those that think this an exceptional piece of work... |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
wow,**** jellybeans is clapping **** |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
In the words of Wet Willie; Keep on smiling Great Peam  JThere is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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Alicia Member
since 2002-03-22
Posts 279 |
~Here,... and here again,... and again,... and still here M,... Love. (I do wish that I could speakbreathebleed what's inside). *Peace precious. |
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Moonlight Romeo
since 2001-09-10
Posts 982The heart of you |
When you've found yourself, you find that there's always another way that you might have taken. But yet, you find that the maps are all the same. Thank you. What light through yon window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. |
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Opeth Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543The Ravines |
"Here I am cradling the phone as if it were the end all of my heart… when really, it connects me to the shadow of a dependence I vowed to shrug off:" There were many parts of this that I truly admired, but this is the verse that captured my attention. Excellent write, indeed. |
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Verve Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 348Singapore |
I now declare myself your biggest fan. I have never read anything else quite like this ... You leave me speechless each time |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
No NO I'M her biggest fan! ~Scratch hiss bite~ Er...sorry Verve heh... Do I really need to say anything here that you don't already know? I think not dear. Remember though, what I said about publishing...sometimes I think you just need to prune things down to fit an editor's taste...and you'd be rich and famous in no time... love ya girly.  K |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
don't worry K-- that subway diet will begin working soon and then you won't be Megs biggest fan. Jared will be so proud. ~sniff~ . no plus JThere is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
ROTFLMFAO!!!! Omg, J, that was So. Mean. I am So. Proud. I'll get to other replies soon, promise. |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
Okay okay line ‘em up… peri, I’m pleasured to pore over your pleasant poignant riposte: though the provocation of my pondering that perhaps the puckishness was not patent? Thank you kindly, my partner Pig. (hehe) Tracey, thanks for the multiple reads (those of you that did, and you know who you are, plus one for the thought) … self realization indeed. Glad it came across. Martie, always so glad to have you stop in. Thank you, lovely poetess. Jen: hrm. I don’t see a change in mood… the whole peam reads to me sarcastic and dribblish… but maybe that’s my bais. Thanks for the insight. Maree, always a pleasure to see you here… respected minds are granted much gratitude. Thank you. Kari, Enchantress: thank you! C, heroine… does that mean you’re a girl or just gay? And yes, yes she does… I was thinking, btw, that the acronym should be changed to MSFAD… what do you think? YAABILY Nic, uhm, ‘cuse me? WHO said bandwidth was being used for something more important than a reply from you? Give me names… I’ll sick the SID guard on them. You, my dear, will I ever be able to get across how much I adore your rambles, or how much they mean? cya on SID fellow goddess… shh. Nan, Oh my. If you ever DO publish that, I expect 70%… (thanks) Duncan. I love it when someone takes a poem piece by piece… tells me back: here this is where it got me. much obliged. Cpat… grateful that you took the time to give voice. Much appreciated. jellybeans, ****megan is saying thanks**** J: That’s like the fifth time you’ve said ‘great peam’. I find your template responses insulting. Will continue discussion of this further in e-mail, please do NOT respond here. Repeat: Do NOT Respond Here. A. sighness. thank you for being here and there I drew a mermaid with wings for you today… MR, er… how can the maps be the same if the paths are all drawn differently? Doesn’t that sort of annul the purpose of a map? Help me out. I’m confused. Opeth. Coolies. Yeah, sort of a sucker-punch line. Thank ye. Verve: you’re not going to lock me up in the mountains and torture me are you? (I mean, I’d enjoy it, but my boyfriend’s the jealous type) ~smile~ danke. p.s. watch out for that Severn guy, he hasn’t had his shots… ~smile~ Hey you. Always grateful that you stop by… a great story behind this one (and if you didn’t laugh your ass off, I didn’t do mah job dern it) I need to send you an e-mail ‘bout easter. Heh. ~sincere sigh~ Thank you for your support, encouragement, and evil alliance (and, as usual, you need to take your own advice) love. J … heheheh ~evil snickers for next 60 secs~ .. er… hold on, brb… got excited again… (that.) EC, I don’t know if I’ve said this yet today (near reflective surfaces or otherwise) but: I love you. What? I am NEVER hyperbolic. (no plusses) [This message has been edited by Elizabeth Cor (04-03-2002 12:25 AM).] |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
as God is my witness... |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
JAMIE PATTERSON. How dare you say such an awful mean thing to me. I don't think I'm going to talk to you anymore. K |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Oh c'mon - You could no more be considered that way than I. If the opposite weren't true I wouldn't have used it. O-K? hugs j |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
I'd just like to say that I agree with J in this one respect: Kamla is soooooo bee-yoo-ti-full... all right. 'nuf said. |
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