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Open Poetry #19
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Internet Bride (repost by request)
| Open Poetry #19 |
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Internet Bride (repost by request) |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
He saw her photo on the Internet Wearing a babushka on her head Golden hair and delft blue eyes Her lips full and cherry red She said she wanted just to be An American girl all her life Said she was looking for a kind-hearted man To woo her and make her his wife She promised true devotion And a brood of 10 kids or more She loved to cook and clean And was willing to do much more! She said she had a degree in Nuclear Fusion and Astronomy That she could pole vault faultlessly And hoped for Russian autonomy He sent her money to pay her fare Wrote sonnets to her many charms Told all his friends she’d be coming Into his waiting arms. Meanwhile in a Russian village: Zay call me Olga da Porkling ‘cause my fist is big as a ham no man here vill marry wez me zay say it’s mean I yam Ze mudder make me sign up For American groom you zee He’ll pay gold to take me avay Zen my zister get husband for free Each week my zweetie zend me Hundred ‘Merican bucks in za mail I gev it to my mudder to Keep my brudder outta jail Zoon it vill be time to go To live in za land of plenty I vant to be mud vrestler Zince I vas young girl of twenty I may be zirty nine years old And ugly so my mudder zay But I know vhat ‘merican men want Zis Olga know how to play The meeting: At half past ten on Saturday Our hero stood at the gate For this was the day he’d prayed for And he hoped her plane wasn’t late So tall and handsome, was he, Wearing dockers and a shirt Anxiously anticipating her In a tight, leather mini skirt As the plane emptied, he stared Looking for his blonde goddess to alit When all of a sudden he was grabbed And squeezed uncomfortably tight Wearing overalls and muddy boots Was the bride he’s sworn to adore She smelled like a pigpen and Must’ve been at least six foot four Olga smiled at her new hubby ‘zis iz vonderful day for me ven do we get to do it ‘been vaiting patiently Our hero paled at this thought And tried to back away “come here my lubchink lover it’s time vor us to play At that dear Olga drew out a football Threw it long right then and there Our hero ran long to catch it And tripped on someone’s chair He jumped up and kept running No one has seen him since And Olga, poor Russian bride Was sent back to her hometown of Minsk! (thanks Maree for asking for this one!) |
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| © Copyright 2002 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
ROFL!!! this was funny!  |
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AniKay83 Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 388Missing Since 1999 |
This was so funny! You tell a great story. I'm glad you picked this to repost. I missed it before. ~Chrissy "No one has ever loved ~anyone~ the way ~everyone~ wants to be loved" |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Good one, PdV! |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Too cute, too cute! |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (giggles in delight) This is so hilarious, sweet friend, poor bride! LOL! This is sooooooo cute, sweet friend, I'm so happy you re-posted this too, this is he first time I've read it also, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sharon, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
HAHAHA Sharon, thanks for reposting this, it was soooo good to read it again. I just love the accent and the picture of Olga da Porkling. t'vas zo very funny. loved it then and love it still! Thanks again hon hugs Maree |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
LOL, I remember this, and it has stayed as hilarious with time Sandra |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Thank you!! I really enjoy writing humorous poetry that makes you smile!  |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
ROFLMAO... but geesh... Olga must be a few steps higher on the evolutionary ladder than me... I didn't even have to throw a football to see Mr. Not Right take flight! LOL |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
 This is just TOO much, PDV....I am still laughing hysterically...... I LOVE it!!!!!  ~lots of BIG hearty Russian hugs~copyright2002 Lyra Nesius |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Oh my Sharon! This is too funny! Thanks for the repost...I am so pleased I didn't miss this one! Hugs. ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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