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Open Poetry #19
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aries_luv_ppl
Senior Member
since 2001-09-20
Posts 1448
Universal Mind

0 posted 2002-03-28 02:57 PM


Lovely day as spring breathes,
somehow I can't enjoy her wind,
which stirring under her wings
blessing lovebirds.

Lovely evergreen forest,
somehow I can't press against her soil,
for I'm shutted in a hut,
waiting for help.

Lovely songs of the forest,
somehow I can't sing along her songs,
for inside I'm lonely
alone in forest.

Lovely sunshine of the day,
somehow I can't walk in her
for my heart is trouble
preventing me from the sun.

Lovely paths of the forests
are equally laid before my eyes.
Somehow I can't choose
for worries are in my mind.

Lovely morning of spring,
chances are waiting for me.
Somehow I have to lift my shoulders
releasing myself to joy.

Eliza Simmons
~Flower lasts so an hour, yet spring will brings her back to life again.

[This message has been edited by aries_luv_ppl (03-28-2002 02:58 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Eliza Simmons - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2002-03-28 03:04 PM


aries_luv_ppl,
Interesting, enjoyed the read.

aries_luv_ppl
Senior Member
since 2001-09-20
Posts 1448
Universal Mind
2 posted 2002-03-28 03:06 PM


thanks Seymour

Eliza Simmons
~Flower lasts so an hour, yet spring will brings her back to life again.

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
3 posted 2002-03-28 05:21 PM




(smiles) Awwwwwww, this is gorgeous, sweet friend, the beauty of springs sunshine fills your heart! (kiss on cheek) I think because "lovely" is a hook used to start every new stanza, maybe something like "Ain't It Lovely?" would be a gorgeous title! We all love you so much, sweet friend, this is fabulous! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Eliza, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
4 posted 2002-03-29 12:20 PM


Eliza, you are really getting good at your imagery. I especially liked this:
"Lovely morning of spring,
chances are waiting for me.
Somehow I have to lift my shoulders
releasing myself to joy."
It's good to know you are the one in control of lifting your wings. Hugs, and have a happy weekend.



JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
5 posted 2002-03-29 12:31 PM


Enjoyed this...I recommend "Somehow"...James
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
6 posted 2002-04-03 07:51 PM


Eliza~
It's a piece that looks dark and then heads for the light ...
I think JamesMichael had a lovely choice for the title !
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
         noles1@totcon.com                    

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