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Open Poetry #19
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

0 posted 2002-03-25 01:04 PM


There is sun
strong in her eyes
as she sits below it
skin bowing to the drought it will cause.
The distance between her reasoning
and her responsibility
is an exceptional emptiness.
Stains plunder skin
and weaken with the cool decided movement of agony.
She's breathed the silence of an indiffernt moment
or maybe more
and spins within a haze
that crashed into her foolish inner world.
There is sun
strong in her eyes
as she bows to it
because she knows that this Spring
the storms will soon, with cruel fingers
take the usual glory of Spring
from her normally easy breathing heart.
there is nothing in this momentary destination
but scars
and the stupidity of worth.

How grave is my condition, for I cannot find the words to say, I need you so.
~Sarah MacLachlan~

© Copyright 2002 Jennifer - All Rights Reserved
Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
1 posted 2002-03-25 01:56 PM



Shun that sun,
That reddens your neck and eyes,
Blast the wind
That you in syncopation sighs,
There’ll be crash
And things of spring gone asunder
Washed by bright
Burnt with days of rolling thunder,
But when gone,
The spring, the summer and the fall,
Come the ice
Then spring will make a return call.

Each harsh year
Marks the flesh with scars of passing,
With more lines
Worth the stupidity of the blasting
Wearing well
On redden neck and sparkled eyes.

Gloom

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

2 posted 2002-03-25 01:57 PM


The distance between her reasoning
and her responsibility
is an exceptional emptiness.

I can really relate to this line.  Loved the write!

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
3 posted 2002-03-25 04:06 PM


what's that poem??

"April is the cruelest month. . . " I think that's it. . .

this reminded me of that line. . . well done. . .

-------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
4 posted 2002-03-25 04:15 PM


Wow!  take the season,  and turn into feelings...

Well done..

mirror man
Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814

5 posted 2002-03-25 04:22 PM


"Tell me what it makes you feel or how it makes you feel..Be honest..I dare you. "

It makes me feel a lot of hurt and bitterness here, like you're probably feeling also.  I feel you could say a lot more and are controlling youself.  Very good use of imagery and well expressed.

Dulcinea
Senior Member
since 2001-07-22
Posts 774
IN
6 posted 2002-03-25 05:40 PM


Hummm...that is one relentless sun...loved the images and emotions here Temptress...very well done!
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
7 posted 2002-03-25 07:49 PM


Temptress, I like the way your work is evolving, it's tighter, cleaner, more focused.

Also like your new pic!

Hope you are well!

Cor

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
8 posted 2002-03-26 01:40 AM




WOW!!! Oh my gosh, this is powerful, sweet friend, I just love the way you ramble and always create such dazzling sybolism with the seasons, this is excellent! (kiss on cheek) We all love you so much, sweet friend, I LOVE IT!!! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Jenn, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Saunni
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777
West Virginia
9 posted 2002-03-26 01:52 AM


Stunning, just stunning!

Sauni @~~~>~~

The Sun Shines
Not On Us, But In Us
The River Flows Not Past,
But Through Us

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
10 posted 2002-03-26 09:11 AM


TemptyOne~

'She's breathed the silence of an indiffernt moment'

This line grabbed me and won't let go~
Powerfully magnetic~

Enjoyed the plunder of thoughts~
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
         noles1@totcon.com                    

Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
11 posted 2002-03-26 09:14 AM


There is no stupidity of your worth, sweet lady.  
You work is fabulous!

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

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