navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #19 » the day of the rain
Open Poetry #19
Post A Reply Post New Topic the day of the rain Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298


0 posted 2002-03-18 12:24 PM



She was looking forward to Sunday
and its solitude, but she woke instead
to a steady drizzle.
She pulled out a Kleenex and frowned.
How hadn’t she seen this coming?
She should have remembered to listen,
her intuition could predict the weather…she
tuned in …oh, an unexpected warm front had moved in
and collided with the long standing cold front.
That explained it.

Not one to revel in the rain, she retreated
to take notes as each region was mapped out
they were clearly defined.
The cold had hung around so long
it was written in stone; the warm, however,
was new, and hypnotically bright.
But the space that was right overhead
where the two fronts intersected
and all the lines became fuzzy, was the point
at which rain was
inevitable.

She watched, almost alienated,
as the one tried to fight off
the other and cheered when the effects of the
warm were winning, although it was raining,
she found herself smiling.
Her heart was dripping and full of the aroma
of washed clean by the rain.

But as cold is want to do, when the
sun started to set, and the warmth retreated,
it took advantage of the increasing distance of the light.
She edged closer to the fire and
shivered, despite.
She needn’t touch her hand to her heart
to know that the forecaster was
advising more rain,  
later turning
to snow.

[This message has been edited by jellybeans (03-18-2002 02:35 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2002-03-18 01:16 PM


Jellybeans,
A warm and friendly write, enjoyed.

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

2 posted 2002-03-18 01:32 PM


She watched, almost alienated,
as the one tried to fight off
the other and cheered when the effects of the
warm were winning, although it was raining,
she found herself smiling.
Her heart was dripping and full of the aroma
of washed clean by the rain.

This theme has been running through my mind for days, was just talking about it!  Excellent, write...I very much enjoyed.

Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
3 posted 2002-03-18 01:45 PM


Ah yes... weather... gotta love it, eh?

I am a rabid horse.

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

4 posted 2002-03-18 02:04 PM


well, lol, guess this one missed its mark, its not about the weather, its about my heart.....am glad you read it as smiles though, it was written in a bit of depression
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
5 posted 2002-03-19 03:26 PM


The cold had hung around so long
it was written in stone; the warm, however,
was new, and hypnotically bright.
-----------------
when the effects of the
warm were winning, although it was raining,
she found herself smiling.
Her heart was dripping and full of the aroma
of washed clean by the rain.

The cold will not always win, lady... though it seems relentless in its determination to dampen spirits and freeze hope... spring will someday come for more than an hour. *S* Or so we'll hope. *S*

This is excellent... and ordinarily I'd be complimenting your work... but I'm busy smirking about the dual poem issue... you know the one, Miss Metaphor? LOL

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
6 posted 2002-03-19 03:28 PM


the weather of the heart. . . or, the heart of the weather. . .or, whether the heart. . .

questions all. . . answers few. . . just make sure that you've got an umbrella. . .

the flow of this is well done. . . it's a good picture of what the character is seeing, feeling, and hearing. . . and, of the emotion that they're going through. . .

great job. . .

------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
7 posted 2002-03-19 03:34 PM


Oh yes...I do love this!  Knew I would...
Just an amazing write...amazing...and a keeper.
~Hugs, Nancy~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain~

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
8 posted 2002-03-19 04:37 PM




WOW!!! Ooohhhhhhh...I know just how you feel here, I too believe the weather can always symbolize how we feel and the warmth or the chill can be harbingers to what will follow! (kiss on cheek) This is wonderful, sweet friend, may the warmth of joy and hope always fill your heart! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sahring!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

9 posted 2002-03-20 02:40 PM


suthern, you wipe that smirk off your face right now *very stern look*
lol, ok, so I hide behind metaphors, whatcha gonna do about it?  rofg

sven thank you, am glad you enjoyed, seems you read it exactly how I wrote it, sometimes I write a metaphor (see suthern't smirk above) and unless you know me, the deeper meaning can go unnoticed, thank you for reading behind the words

enchantress, you must have had some weather in your heart also thank you lady

noah, you are such a sweetie, you reach out to lift every poet up, thank you

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #19 » the day of the rain

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary