The Sad Tale of Kelly O'Roarke

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Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

0 posted 2002-03-16 05:11 PM

Kelly O'Roarke was feeling sad 'cause she was getting old.
She said," I need a leprecaun and his big pot of gold.
He'll have to give three wishes if I catch him, it is true
And by the time I'm finished, there'll be nothing I can't do!"

So she set out to trap one with a worthy plan indeed.
She chased him over hill and dale and finally had him treed.
He said, "Ok, you got me, lass. Three wishes are your prize.
Be careful, though...", he added, with a twinkle in his eyes.

She said, "I want to be the richest woman in the Isle!"
"The money's in the bank, my lass", the gnome said with a smile.
She said, "I want my youth and beauty be returned to me!"
He said, "It's done." She grabbed a mirror so that she could see.

She had a face of twenty-five! She squealed with delight!
He said, "Come on, dear lady. Geez! I haven't got all night!
Let's have the final wish so I can get down from this tree
And you can rest assured that you have seen the last of me!"

She said, "You see my tom cat?" He said, "I do..", with a wince.
She said,"I want him to become a rich and handsome prince!
Make his life's goal to love me and to cater to my whims.
Make all desires I feel be attended to by him!"

The cat then turned into a prince. The leprecaun jumped down
And said, "Enjoy your gifts!", then disappeared without a sound.
The prince took her in warm embrace and said, with feelings mixed,
"I love you more than life...now aren't you sad you had me fixed???"

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

1 posted 2002-03-16 05:16 PM

Bravo oh teller of tales!!! Enjoyed. Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

2 posted 2002-03-16 05:18 PM

I know exactly how the poor guy feels!! Cracked me up, Balladeer!

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 2002-03-16 05:20 PM

Ok, ok, you had me until the last stanza and I saw it coming...poor Tom...

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

4 posted 2002-03-16 05:33 PM

ROFLROFL

What a punchline! That's two ROFL's in as many days, my 'deer!

You are wonderful ...I just love that mind of yours!

Best wishes and big hugs,
/Kit

strbbux
Member Elite

since 2001-12-19

Posts 3859

5 posted 2002-03-16 05:53 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHA HERE YOU GO AGAIN, YOU ARE BOUND AND DETERMINED TO MAKE ME FALL OFF MY CHAIR. LOL, THIS WAS GREAT, LOVE IT. BRAVO. FLORIA

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

doreen peri
Member Elite

since 1999-05-25

Posts 3812
Virginia

6 posted 2002-03-16 06:17 PM

LOL!!!!!

better be careful whatcha wish for, huh?
sounds like the luck of the irish didn't pay off..... poor Kelly didn't have a tale.... she got O'Rooked!!

i

the way you write!!!

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

7 posted 2002-03-16 06:25 PM

You had to have a little wrinkle in it
didn't you Michael!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Excellent my friend...very good...

Munda
Member Elite

since 1999-10-08

Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands

8 posted 2002-03-16 06:38 PM

Sometimes you're too much!

[This message has been edited by Munda (03-16-2002 06:41 PM).]

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

9 posted 2002-03-16 07:31 PM

(giggles in delight) LOL! Oh Balladeer, this is soooooooo wonderfully delightful, poor guy, and the whole irony of it all! (big hugggssssss) This is a wonderfully delightful Irish tale, sweet friend, we all love you so much, BRAVO!!! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Michael, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Tracey
Member Elite

since 2001-08-29

Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding

10 posted 2002-03-16 09:17 PM

ROFL. Damn, I bet she wasn’t smiling so much after that !! Careful what you wish for huh? Great tale ‘Deer

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

11 posted 2002-03-16 09:19 PM

ouch

ache

ohhh

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

12 posted 2002-03-16 09:20 PM

Only you could come up with something this great Deer. Just wonderful....rotflmao

On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free.
~Me~

(I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~Garth)

Lucie
Senior Member

since 1999-06-20

Posts 1077
Houston

13 posted 2002-03-16 09:34 PM

Yes she'd done the evil deed and fixed that old Tom cat.
But the story doesn't end there, rest assured of that.
He might not have the power, but she still has the drive.
The best part, if she kills him, he still has 8 more lives.

Balladeer.. you old Tom Cat you..

Remember me with a smile on your face, or please don't remember me at all.

Marsha

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-10

Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England

14 posted 2002-03-16 10:15 PM

’Deer dearest heart YES! Thank you again, you’ve had me laughing so much I ache, you’ve had Krissy laughing too. If I hold the phone up I’m sure you can hear her, it’s so loud she’ll wake the neighbours, she say’s this is too too funny

Absolutely first class writing yes I saw the punch line coming but it didn’t stop me for one second really loving this poem. PERFECT writing dear ’Deer, absolutely perfect.

As I’ve mentioned once or twice before YOU are such a fabulous writer, and this is ace. Thank you for the giggles

Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79

Honeybee
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-26

Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

15 posted 2002-03-16 10:50 PM

Me thinks that there's a pot-o-gold in your pen overflowing with the wit that I love about ya!

Happy St. Patty's Day cutie patootie

Melissa~

"Poetry is not an opinion expressed...
it is a song that rises from a bleeding
wound...or a smiling mouth"

~Kahlil Gibran~

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

16 posted 2002-03-16 11:01 PM

Now that's the real luck of the Irish!

I enjoyed it.

Nan

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

17 posted 2002-03-16 11:10 PM

Nightshade...I appreciate your bravo!

Duncan...you were fixed, too?

OH, TRACEYYYY........

SUnshine..I appreciate having you for whatever time I could...

Kit...an ROFL a day keeps the doldrums away..thanks for letting me make you smile

floria...yep, getting you off that chair has become a personal goal of mine! I'll keep trying!!

Doreen...LOL at O'Rooked!! Yep, wishes can be dangerous in the wrong glands!

Magnus...I have a little wrinkle in everything!!

Munda..much but never too much, I hope! Thank you, kind lady...

Noah..An Irish tale with no tail if you catch my drift *wink*

Tracey...no, she was catatonic!!!

Christopher..three little words that say so much..ROFL!

Gentle Spirit...you put a big smile on my face!

Lucie...I think every woman wants a man who's a real pussy...whaddaya think???

Mushy...that had to be real stereo...the two of you laughing together!! LOL! Glad I could delight the whole family!!

Melissa..thank you, patootie pal! and a happy St. Paddy's day back atcha!!!

Pilgrimage...yeah...really bad luck! She needed a four leaf clover!! (and something else!) Thank you!

[This message has been edited by Balladeer (03-16-2002 11:12 PM).]

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

18 posted 2002-03-17 10:30 AM

ROFLMAO... but she still has money, youth, beauty and a male's devotion??? Having none of the above, I'll gladly trade places???

I enjoyed this sad tail very much, Deer One.

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

19 posted 2002-03-17 01:59 PM

Krissy
Senior Member

since 2002-02-22

Posts 556
kent England

20 posted 2002-03-17 06:38 PM

’Deer thank you thank you thank you, mum read this to me when I phoned her last night, early this morning and I laughed so much the neighbours banged on the wall. It was 2am but still

You really know how to write, that doesn’t surprise me of course I knew that but it’s such a delight to witness. I feel particularly honoured that I get the chance to see such sublime and exquisite writing skills displayed. This is really excellent. Obviously the style and skill are particularly fine, I expect that, the flawless flow, internal rhythm and perfect rhyme I also know are your trademark, but there’s something else. Something indefinable that makes you stand out from other fine writers. Whatever it is, thatJe n’aise se quoi raises your work to the top of the pile. As mum is so fond of saying ‘Deer is the crème de la crème and you are

Love and warm stuff
As always
Krissy

And while thy willing soul transpiers
at every pore with instant fires
Andrew Marvell 1621-1678

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

21 posted 2002-03-17 06:49 PM

I love this one, Michael...

I am still laughing.....that poor stupid woman.
Hope you have a Happy St. Pat's Day! and better luck than she had.

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

[This message has been edited by Madame Chipmunk (03-17-2002 06:50 PM).]

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-09-23

Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown

22 posted 2002-03-17 07:14 PM

Balladeer, you are so good. You tell the best stories I've ever heard. As always, I enjoyed this.

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

23 posted 2002-03-17 09:54 PM

My thanks to all you wonderful people for enjoying my little piece of tomfoolry

Soleil Noir
Senior Member

since 2001-12-19

Posts 688
USA

24 posted 2002-03-18 02:03 PM

You were just waiting to use the word Tom in a poem...thank you for this gem, old that it may be...

D.Lester Young
Senior Member

since 2001-12-08

Posts 1219
Austin, Tx

25 posted 2002-03-18 02:13 PM

This is really a gem done in a most excellent way. The sparkle of words will last the test of time.

Corinne
Member Ascendant

since 1999-10-28

Posts 5167
state of confusion

26 posted 2002-03-18 02:27 PM

heh, heh, heh! You tricked us! No gold at the end of this rainbow!!!

Cor

Dulcinea
Senior Member

since 2001-07-22

Posts 774
IN

27 posted 2002-03-18 02:47 PM

I got this same story line in an email a while back...but nothing this entertaining! And the old woman was rocking on her front porch...I laughed at the punch line when the former cat chides her for the "fix"...nice adaptation for the holiday!

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