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Open Poetry #19
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ShadowRider
Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038
USA

0 posted 2002-03-16 01:06 PM


        

The Young Carpenter

snagging, snaring
branch claws hinder with poets pause
the trap of incessant convolution
Whip-Poor-Will
Whip-Poor-Will
they torment with their feast of sour grapes
too late in the season to make sweet wine

there is no grass here
under the pines
barren, save for the sting of a million needles
ah, but the ground moves
with the bustle of anthropoid earthen cities
but we see them not
for we are trained at birth
to only see the big in life
how easily we miss the minutia

sitting against the trunk, in piney shade
PB&J is trampled under white leather hooves
wrapper stuffed in oil-brown bag
and gunshot POP of pop
followed by gurgles

Daze of summer
whirling about a young boy's shoulders
days without end, adventures without heroes
here,
under future Christmas tree graces
he hides from a golden face of the sun


the Young Carpenter
takes his tools of joy:
round orb with leather bindings
binder with deliberate glyphs of valor
oversized glove anointed with oil

and fashions his dreams


(Poets note:  a reflection on a past moment
as this poet sat in his own daydreams, baseball treasures,
lunch sustinence, and Summer-Time on his hands)

[This message has been edited by ShadowRider (03-17-2002 07:04 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Picasso Lyrics - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2002-03-16 01:45 PM



...and summertime on his hands...this is a most splendid write....

peaches73533
Senior Member
since 2001-11-04
Posts 981
OK, USA
2 posted 2002-03-16 01:48 PM


This is a most wonderful write.I love the picture and your words touch my heart.
Peaches

Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
3 posted 2002-03-16 01:51 PM




BRAVO!!! Oh my gosh, I just love the way you color-code the boys muse from his reality, this is an excellent written yearning for the summer to come, just as I desire so much! (big hugggssssss) we all love you so much, sweet friend, this is excellent! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Jeff, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

ShadowRider
Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038
USA
4 posted 2002-03-16 02:02 PM



Sunshine:  boy, I can't wait for the real summertime sunshine to shine!
Can't you tell?  *smiles*  Thanks so much Sunshine for your rays of praise!

Peaches:  You should check that site out (do image source on it)  it's full of Asian
images of aurora based pics.  They are truly awe inspiring!  
You flatter me with your words.  Thank you!

Noah:  I am tickled green (hehe) that you caught the significance of the color separation
Guess it takes a guy to see a guys point of view.  Let's bring on Summer, what-da-ya-say? So many thoughts run thru a young guy's head, and the pine trees have a special merit in my life as my Secret Place!  

Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
5 posted 2002-03-16 10:36 PM


Jeff darling boy Oh my stars this is utterly utterly wonderful really lovely writing, YOU have brought such a smile of remembrance to me face and I do love to smile you know. I swear I can smell the forest, although here where I live, all you can smell would be orchards, apples, pear, and cherry. I do remember the smells of the forest on my youth though, not a pine forest, oaks and ashes mainly, with a lot of rhododendrons. Absolutely wonderful use of imagery, colour and I almost feel as if I could hear the sounds too. If I could still the sounds around me enough I’d hear the forest talk to me, as it used to do back then. I’m a city girl but we did go to the country on occasion Excellent writing darling boy utterly excellent


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy


To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79


Midnitesun
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since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
6 posted 2002-03-16 11:34 PM


"ah, but the ground moves
with the bustle of anthropoid earthen cities
but we see them not
for we are trained at birth
to only see the big in life
how easily we miss the minutia"
Jeez, Jeff. I wish I'd written that line.
Sometimes I think I see the minutia more often than the big pic. ????


ShadowRider
Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038
USA
7 posted 2002-03-17 01:16 AM


Marsha:  You will be kind enuff to thank Krissy for me, won't you? *s*  What a sweetheart she must be.  Memories are the stuff future dreams are made of.
In these days I wrote about here, we lived on a farm, complete with orchard, the scents of apples, beehives & honey, and the delightful pungent sting of pine.
Then, in 7th grade we moved back into the big city, so i was blessed with the best
of both worlds, and learned to appreciate the differences as well as the nuances.
You keep smiling, ok?  Its the world's cure for most everything!
My humble and grateful thanks to you and warm hello's.  

MidniteSun:  It's interesting you picked the most abstract part of that poem, which
i tried to describe what kind of thoughts the Carpenter was thinking of.  You know how you just dig a bit in the dirt with a stick, and out pops a whole city of ants!  hehehe
No matter how large and important we think of ourselves in life,
there is always something....well you know the rest! *wink*

What am I doing up at this hour, except ramblin' on!  
Thankx you two, for sharing your feelings with me.
~contented smiles~  Jeff

Krissy
Senior Member
since 2002-02-22
Posts 556
kent England
8 posted 2002-03-17 06:50 PM


Jeff mum told me to look for this piece from you saying it was incredible. IT IS a really beauty, no thanks necessary dear man, I came I read and I was stunned with your exquisite writing. What’s there to thank in being honest in what I say? On the contrary I must thank you for displaying such wonders for me to rest my eyes upon. The imagery and the flow of this is again exquisite. As I’ve said before you are obviously a very fine writer, please don’t stop laying out these delicacies for me to devour.

Love and warm stuff
As always
Krissy


And while thy willing soul transpiers
at every pore with instant fires
Andrew Marvell 1621-1678

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
9 posted 2002-03-17 06:53 PM


This is an absolutely astoundingly beautiful poem, Jeff.
Thanks for sharing it with us.

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

PearlsB4Swine
Member
since 2002-02-01
Posts 130
where the heart finds me
10 posted 2002-03-17 07:07 PM


How you make me long for those lazy-crazy-carefree days of summer...sigh... Really great write, and dug the pic too!
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
11 posted 2002-03-17 07:22 PM


This one is just too cool to be falling off the bottom of the page.
ShadowRider
Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038
USA
12 posted 2002-03-17 08:43 PM



Hi sweet Krissy!    If I could crown you and your mum co-queens of Britain, I would
surely do it!  The best kind of praise is for the pieces written about personal experience. I am positive you have moments that you relive in your memories over and over again, and this was about that, as well as the Secret Place one can be one with their random thoughts.   I must say, however, that I come and go from Passions as my time during the week gets pretty limited.  ~sigh~  bummer, huh?  Thankx my young friend!  So much!

Madame Munk-Ster!   How are YOU doing?  Feeling better.  You had me concerned
and worried about you.  For you to take time-out from your schedule and reply is truly
a privilege!  Gawwwwrsh…..blush……Thank you Lydia!

PearlsBee!  haven't seen you for a while.  Who did that song:  lazy crazy days of summer… let me think now…(head hurts if I do THAT too long *s*) Nat King Cole????  Oh…..my membry is permanently altered!  hehehe…Thanks for the Winter warm thoughts, PB4S!

MidniteSun:  in the lexicon of Passions, is that what is called a Bump?  Dang that was kind of you!  I just got around to doing some late responses (been glued to NCAA world tonite!)
Muchos Gracias, Amiga!

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