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Open Poetry #19
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Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

0 posted 2002-03-15 07:29 AM


Rewrite Repost:

Commitment

She the tongue and I the shell
And two souls clashed in the swell
Brought about a ghost of new
Echoes to eternity flew.
As a cry escaped the bell

Nirvana touches every shore
Resonating forever more
The common swell that rings for thee
Circles round and sounds for me.
Ridding air that rapes the store.

Shaking loose the common bield
Raging o’er the common field
Bending in forever’s bend
Sending it a journeys end.
Crushing to the common yield

Of holy vows and oaths assail
I bare my back against the flail
Baptized in a common core
Hand and hand forevermore.
The sound forever rings in sail.

It wails in swell, that tongue struck shell
Tolling o’er an endless hell.

© Copyright 2002 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved
Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
1 posted 2002-03-15 07:49 AM


Seymour darling boy Oh my I’m stunned with admiration this has got to be one of you utter utter best. Truly the line and flow in this is absolutely excellent.

I can actually feel the depth of this, this is utterly utterly wonderful

How do you manage to do these so well darling boy? Truly awesome writing.
You are always a fabulous writer, in this you have excelled yourself. If you keep writing like this I shall start running out of superlatives and that would never do would it?

  
Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79


Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
2 posted 2002-03-15 07:53 AM


Mushy,
You will never run out. and thank you.

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
3 posted 2002-03-15 08:02 AM


Commitment to Forever is good, dear Sy...
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2002-03-15 08:31 AM


Nan,
See you soon.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

5 posted 2002-03-15 10:40 AM


Of holy vows and oaths assail
I bare my back against the flail
Baptized in a common core
Hand and hand forevermore.
The sound forever rings in sail.

It wails in swell, that tongue struck shell
Tolling o'er an endless hell.
=====================================


If I picked up a shell on your beaches of understand...what would I hear when I put it to me ear?
RHYMES OF WAAAAY COOL...thats what!!
the shell would yell...Sybabers--YER SO KEWL

*ww*

You never knew what I loved in you,
I dont know what you loved in me ...
Maybe the picture of somebody you were hoping I might be.

Jackson Browne

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
6 posted 2002-03-15 11:19 AM


JM,
You are my buterfly
And I am your sigh.
And Randy's bent out of shape
And I don't know why?
Winkiewinkie, Stinky.

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

7 posted 2002-03-15 11:39 AM


Seymour, oh my, I am running out of word of praise for you. so I will say. TREMENDOUS write, floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
8 posted 2002-03-15 11:43 AM



...Aye, how then the committed self
takes dusted icon from the shelf...

Bravo, my good and forever Sy!

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
9 posted 2002-03-15 12:31 PM


Floria,


Sunshine,

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
10 posted 2002-03-15 03:18 PM


Strong, well done, and much enjoyed.
Sandra

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

11 posted 2002-03-15 03:26 PM


Saeymour, this is fantastic, enjoyed, enjoyed!

Maree

ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
12 posted 2002-03-15 03:31 PM


enjoyed the read, the relationship between mollusc and its immediate home translated into oceanic terms


Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
13 posted 2002-03-15 03:45 PM


sy~

this was a splendid read. i really
liked the images you brought up with
this...truly a work of art! great write.

take care.
amy

"just because someone doesn't love you as you'd like them to, does not mean they don't love you with all their heart"

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
14 posted 2002-03-15 05:23 PM


Sandra,
Thank you sweet.

Dark Angel,
Glad you enjoyed.

Ecrivan,
Enjoyed your comment.

aimster,
Beautiful response, thank you.

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
15 posted 2002-03-15 10:55 PM


She the tongue and I the shell
And two souls clashed in the swell
Brought about a ghost of new
Echoes to eternity flew.
  To take that feeling of forever and relate it to the sea, was the BEST comparison to committment I think I have ever read, for what is deeper or farther than the sea?  Oh, this was a keeper for sure.  

See you both soon! I am getting excited now 2 weeks to go!

The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.
  ~* Albert Einstein *~

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
16 posted 2002-03-16 08:02 AM


Sharon,
You got it. Thank you, see you soon.

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