navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #19 » Orchid Thoughts
Open Poetry #19
Post A Reply Post New Topic Orchid Thoughts Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2002-03-14 11:42 PM


Oh….. this was my first poem ever written, and until now I have never
Posted it anywhere…..it was written after
The May night that has changed my life



(1992)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Orchid Thoughts

In darkness that falls
Greatly upon a heavy heart
I watched the wick
Of candles shatter
Their light and tease
The shadows flicker

I lost her
On the storm
That May evening
Floating on endless
Scarlet waves
Beyond where
Seagulls fly,
It will take hours
For her to reach shore,
To again touch soft
Breezes and vibrant
Tones

In a different time
Of the same day


The stage is
A lonely place to be
When you can’t see faces smile
I look out into darkness,
Cold & blank
Trying to define
Human touch,
Human presence
But, here too, they are
Candles melting
Slowly down
To form their
Hard wax gift
On tables and floors
Where footprints
Leave their mark
Among the spilled
Beer and long ago laughter

In a different time
Of the same night


You have made me weep
You have taken love
And given it a colder name
I will never be the same

Why?

The orchids
Call my name
They define death
They complete
The darkness
For which I settle into

I don’t miss the nights any more
I too have melted,
A lonely candle,
The wick

Gone



Greeneyes~

Step through the
barrier of my mind,
enter my soul,
feel my desire,
let my eyes guide you
into the shadows
of my heart


[This message has been edited by Greeneyes (03-14-2002 11:47 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved
Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
1 posted 2002-03-14 11:44 PM


Lauren,
Such sad words. I'm glad that was long ago and far away. So well expressed as always. The imagery is powerful indeed.

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2002-03-14 11:48 PM




(big hugggssssssss) Oh Lauren, this is soooooo heartaching, I am so happy this was 10 years ago, this is a very sad but wonderful first post that shows you have always been such a loving friend and wonderful writer! (kiss on cheek) THIS IS|EXCELLENT, SWEET FRIEND, I LOVE IT!!! May true love forever light the candle of your heart now, sweet friend, we all love you so much, YAY!!! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lauren, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

NapalmsConstantlyConfused
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 529

3 posted 2002-03-15 12:00 PM


quote:
You have made me weep
You have taken love
And given it a colder name
I will never be the same


wow.
very powerful and moving.
as always, i stand in awe of your gifts.
-Dave

rosepetals25
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076
PA
4 posted 2002-03-15 12:02 PM


Lauren,

   This is so full of pain   I hope you are in a much happier place now. Wonderful and powerful write, I liked... alot  

Hugs,
Tara


"My heart is like an open book, for the whole world to read"
     - Motley Crue, Home Sweet Home

[This message has been edited by rosepetals25 (03-15-2002 12:03 AM).]

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
5 posted 2002-03-15 12:54 PM


Expressed very well...James
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

6 posted 2002-03-15 10:47 AM


In darkness that falls
Greatly upon a heavy heart
I watched the wick
Of candles shatter
Their light and tease
The shadows flicker

I lost her
On the storm
That May evening
Floating on endless
Scarlet waves
Beyond where
Seagulls fly,
It will take hours
For her to reach shore,
To again touch soft
Breezes and vibrant
Tones
====================================


to be able to read this exquisite piece now, and see the pain and know what you've wrote of since...how you've grown and found healing in your words...to be able to witness the release has been a gift to me and my own healing...all I can say is thank you my butterfly sister.

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

7 posted 2002-03-15 11:37 AM


Lauren, this is your first???? Amazing, you know, I never wrote until my son died and then it seemed my soul just wanted to speak, and it seems that must be what happened to you. Amazing isn't it? and how wonderful that we are able to write and heal. This is the most lovely of poems Lauren. thanks for sharing it with us. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
8 posted 2002-03-15 03:49 PM


now, this image. . . so much more than just a simple metaphor. . . this is a life. . . and it's put into words, here. . . and yet, still retains what makes it what it is. . .

isn't it amazing what our first poems reveal about ourselves Lauren???  excellent. . .

---------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
9 posted 2002-03-15 11:23 PM


*BUMP*

Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

10 posted 2002-03-16 12:01 PM


Very sad but beautifully written..you were a natural poet than too Lauren...hugsss

              ~Victoria

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
11 posted 2002-03-16 09:29 AM



Your talents...are mostly beautiful...

what is not beautiful, is enchanting...

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #19 » Orchid Thoughts

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary