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Open Poetry #19
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Slowed
| Open Poetry #19 |
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Slowed |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration 
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are these thoughts contagious… never been this unsure -before. is this the life we’ve waited for? now, in our silence crashing - there is clay, red from the steady oxidation of hope. with the calm of a prophet, it wraps the many vagaries of my palm into a molded cast of disillusionment. despite your pain of absence, nothing remains for a shadow to mature since we’ve slowed the definition of ‘us’ until it crawls across barren deserts, an avatar of patience; Horus, when day rises without the luxury of a sun. knees buried in the shattered crust of another memory, this time, ours. the cast hardens beneath the frailty of a glow; Ra, bellowing a harsh detention of understanding, branding rock around stone, hearts against whole. burdened now beneath the time-hardened layers of preconceived notions, we stumble toward our oasis. the waters of relief beckoning with a promise – parched, parched, parched, this, will quench your thirst. the only thing left to wonder, as we push against the weight of a million grains of sand, the one possibility the heat of a daytime imagination has burned us open to conceive, is: what if it’s just a mirage? |
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| © Copyright 2002 C.G. Ward - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Silver Streak Member Elite
since 2002-01-02
Posts 3625FL, USA |
Well written and very thought provoking. Thank you for sharing.  ((Christopher)) -newell Sharing God's Love through perfectlovepoetry.com |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Can't demolish what holds me... |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
This is profound writing, I always marvel at the depth of your words. It's good to see you posting again in open... Take care, Melissa~ "Poetry is not an opinion expressed... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Christopher You captured me with the first, and burned me in the end.. Great write of feeling mixed with intelligance. Much enjoyed. |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Bumpers.. Umm..did I mention its excellent to see you writing again? I have nothing to offer but my honest awe of this like a lot of your other work. How grave is my condition, for I cannot find the words to say, I need you so. |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
I am no real critic of anyone's work. Often it's one word or a few, but there's always real appreciation. loved this... *smiles* ~Tier |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Hi Christopher I really loved this line.... now, in our silence crashing - there is clay, can relate to it. enjoyed. Maree |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
thank you all for the comments, 'preciate the time. (tier - you left out "many") C |
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mirror man Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814 |
Excellent use of imagery here. Very well done. |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I really enjoyed the images you created in this one Christopher, oh, and by the way I am going to start calling myself EJS (the Angel), LOL, good test story too by the way! The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives. |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
Clay... if you think in terms of texture, throw in a biblical reference, and simplify it all into symbols of element... well, it could be combination of stone and flesh. And though the oasis was an original destination… perhaps it leads out of desert, not into a small green circle of paradise, but a city: where work is required, but contentment, even happiness, can be earned. Perhaps a place that becomes home. I love your references to Egypt and her theology… ~smiles~ funny because I thought of writing of hieroglyphics before… and ponder now how they relate (in metaphor) to eyeless gods… Angels Fall beats this in flow… but the angst here is so bare: raw & abrasive… it doesn’t seem to want to read as smooth (though it is lyrical in its own right)… as for content, I can’t say which is the superior, and this is such a hard read for so many reasons… And without claiming that I cheated (lbl be damned)… I liked this from the beginning, but storms of passion sometimes render even myself mute. God, how your writing grows… Hm. Maybe there’s an ocean at the end of that desert… with a rock stationed on the beach… it’s independent of the sea, though they allow proximity… and the waves occasionally swell in tides to lick at its sides… There's always hope... just sometimes its not where you expect(want) it to be found... Oh, and deadly last line. Hugs. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Christopher...as one of the lines from a Stephen King book goes..."I'm your biggest fan" well, perhaps not, but I'm sure up there in the running anyway. My only question for you is why am I reading this stuff here instead of in those big fancy poetry journals and years best anthologies where it belongs (not that there's anything wrong with passions mind you) I'm simply saying, you need published...like now!!!! You are that good and perhaps even better, but for sure, much better than you give yourself credit for. Oh, I almost forgot...loved the poem |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
What Hoot said... |
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Dulcinea Senior Member
since 2001-07-22
Posts 774IN |
Very nice! I liked the desert setting and the images...I hope your oasis is a reality and not just a mirage! |
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