»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #19
»
Hungry Shadows (choka )
| Open Poetry #19 |
|
Hungry Shadows (choka ) |
|
|
Zinsser Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641Calif. |
(Choka) I thinkLOL Hungry Shadows Driven by the need Nothing personal, just feed Blood lust is a must Continue for centuries The shadows of night Seem to bring unfounded fright But those who can see Lock doors at night, will not fight Black hearted hungry shadows Connie McDonald Copyright@2002 [This message has been edited by Zinsser (03-15-2002 09:25 AM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Connie McDonald - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Zinsser, Interesting write. |
||
|
Zinsser Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641Calif. |
Thank You Sir..... |
||
Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
  BRAVO!!! This is powerfully intense, sweet friend, may you always have sweet dreams and may peace and faith forever drive these shadows away! (kiss on cheek) We all love you so much, sweet friend, this is fabulous! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Connie, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
||
|
Silver Streak Member Elite
since 2002-01-02
Posts 3625FL, USA |
Interesting write, Zinsser, though not a Choka. A Choka, I believe has a series of groups of 2 lines, (5 syls, then 7 syls) and always ends with 2 lines of 7 syls each. I believe that the poem length can be anywhere from 5 lines (A Tanka) to (any number greater than 1) * 2 + 1 Professor Gloom defined the form several days ago if you want to look back at his poems. ((Zinsser)) -newell Sharing God's Love through perfectlovepoetry.com Copyright: 2002 Newell Elsworth Usher [This message has been edited by Silver Streak (03-16-2002 12:01 PM).] |
||
|
Silver Streak Member Elite
since 2002-01-02
Posts 3625FL, USA |
Connie, this is now a wonderful Choka. And with a very meaningful message! Good work! ((Connie)) -newell Sharing God's Love through perfectlovepoetry.com |
||
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
On the dark side..Connie..nice work. I have trouble writing Dark. *s M |
||
|
strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Connie, chilling this was, good write, floria Floria |
||
|
Zinsser Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641Calif. |
Thanks everyone.... This was fun Thanks Silver for getting back on track : ) |
||
|
Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Enjoyed your Choka I took the first line as a Title and the last line as a part of the poem, That gives it a 5,7,5,7,5,7,5,7 7 the last line is not usually separated But you had edited it by the time I read this, Although, I read it backwards top to bottom And .. Black hearted hungry shadows Lock doors at night, will not fight But those who can see Seem to bring unfounded fright The shadows of night Continue for centuries Blood lust is a must Nothing personal, just feed Driven by the need Works this way also, although not a Choka anymore. One of the elements of Japanese poetry is the fluid nature of the word placement, This has that also. Besides I like the Tone and Mood. Sometimes the form need only be a guide. Gloom |
||
|
Zinsser Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641Calif. |
Hey, You flipped me LOL |
||
|
mirror man Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814 |
Difficult form, and interesting topic. Enjoyed this. |
||
|
Zinsser Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641Calif. |
Mirror.... Thanks... : ) |
||
|
GenXer Senior Member
since 2001-12-15
Posts 583USA |
Connie - I think I am going to lock my doors right now.lol I enjoyed this walk on the dark side. Nicely done. Dave |
||
|
Zinsser Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641Calif. |
Dave: Glad you enjoyed... : ) Thanks Connie |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
