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Open Poetry #19
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SEA
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since 2000-01-18
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with you

0 posted 2002-03-14 12:12 PM




concerning how
it used to be,
the story of
you and me
hearts steeped in love
so contentedly

the endless needing
wanting touch
ache consuming
beyond too much

holding on
past dawning day
bodies meld together
in gentle sway
intimate whispers,
of our yesterday

echo gently
through reminiscing
how we were,
my heart is missing


~SEA~

[This message has been edited by SEA (03-14-2002 12:13 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 S.E. A - All Rights Reserved
Christopher
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Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
1 posted 2002-03-14 12:20 PM


this was cool lady... have you ever considered trying it without the rhyme? (to be honest, i have something against rhyming lately... seems to truncate too much of the meaning - this is the first "rhyming" pome i've replied to in a while...)

Peace

C

SEA
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with you
2 posted 2002-03-14 12:23 PM


Christopher, you are a sweetie thank you, and you made me learn a new word lol
I do the free verse every so often....I will try to do one for you soon

Auguste
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since 2000-02-16
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By the sea
3 posted 2002-03-14 12:35 PM


Susan,

Not only did I enjoy the rhyme, but also the lovely watercolor.   This poem conveys the truth of so many relationships.  I believe I'll keep it.   (((hugs)))

Michael

Stars will shine when I am gone
Earth will spin on as before
Gulls still race along the shore
Morning star, still kiss the dawn

~ M. Auguste

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

4 posted 2002-03-14 12:38 PM


concerning how
it used to be,
the story of
you and me
hearts steeped in love
so contentedly

What a difference a day makes, huh?
Cowboy

vandana
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USA
5 posted 2002-03-14 12:41 PM


enjoyed
Aimster
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since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
6 posted 2002-03-14 12:47 PM


susan-

this was so lovely my sweet friend...your
heart shines so beautifully in this and
the longing and aching is so heart felt.
you brought me back to some of my own
feelings, or perhaps i never left them.
take care of yourself.
amy

"Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't
mean they don't love you with all they have"

Nightshade
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just out of reach
7 posted 2002-03-14 12:49 PM


Wonderful Sea! Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

Mistletoe Angel
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Portland, Oregon
8 posted 2002-03-14 01:03 PM




(smiles) Awwwwwwwwww, this is soooooo beautiful, sweet friend, I love the watercolors too you use in your words, it describes the emotions of a relationship wonderfully! (kiss on cheek) May your heart forever sing with loves sweet memories, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Susan, thank you for sharing!


May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton


Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
9 posted 2002-03-14 01:55 PM


how we were,
my heart is missing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh Sue, this aches so bad!
Very nicely penned and I enjoyed the rhyme.
~Hugs, Nancy~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain~

Sven
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since 1999-11-23
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East Lansing, MI USA
10 posted 2002-03-14 03:25 PM


I like the rhyme here SEA, it gives it that "sway" and "dance" that I feel you're working with here. . . a dance of emotion. . . emotions gone, but still there. . .

great job. . . every day, you get better and better. . .

-------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

11 posted 2002-03-14 06:36 PM


Sea Pleeeease do not give up the rhyme. I am such a lover of rhyme, I also love free verse, but I do not see any forced rhyme in this piece and it is lovely. I love it. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

angel girl
Member
since 1999-07-23
Posts 322
within a whisper...
12 posted 2002-03-14 07:07 PM


Aww I really like this one, Sea. You have a gift for words.

"What makes letting go hard isn't losing what you had, but losing the dream of what could have been."

Mysteria
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British Columbia, Canada
13 posted 2002-03-14 07:50 PM


Very pretty Sea, and you are sure getting the hang of the "whole shebang" LOL, nicely done, picture and poem perfecto mongo!

The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.
  ~* Albert Einstein *~

amigo
Senior Member
since 2001-10-12
Posts 520
the earth school
14 posted 2002-03-14 08:12 PM


Oh...so much of warmth filled in these sad words....liked the painting too...
Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
15 posted 2002-03-14 10:14 PM


SEA, your meaning will never be truncated in my book!
NapalmsConstantlyConfused
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Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 529

16 posted 2002-03-15 01:10 AM


sad, but moving.... a wonderful write from you SEA
-Dave

walker
Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240
Florida
17 posted 2002-03-15 03:50 PM


Love it.
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