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Open Poetry #19
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wayoutwalt
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since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

0 posted 2002-03-12 07:38 PM


Where once an oak, is now a tallow tree
Before this winding road a sharper curve
The pungent tar that paved the patchwork years
And now the yellow streaks are slowing still
I see the picket fences are the same
Each woven cross is held up by the next
But through decay, I still can pick my teeth
As if I want that sharpness in my bones
To haunt the times of when I hungered most
Would be the times my will was stronger yet

I hear my mother call me as I crept
The withered oak to dance on edge of wall
I wavered back and forth on hinging wind
The tinge of guilt my frame could not support
I'd been as sullen, slow, but yet survived
The summers heat; the winters gnawing pang
To wanderlust the way from oak to street
And find the path was winding to obey

So have I lied myself into a sleep?
The way is short but still the road is long
I watch the cars indifferently return
At both the ends were lined a cul-de-sac
I once was on the track they both are now
Opposing forces hoping for a crash
As now I want to pick my teeth of meat
I sit and think of times I hungered most

My mother was a cross some years ago
And I was left without direction home
My father woven to her not too long
And I was left with nothing but this street
A Chinese tallow tree where once an oak
And now a sweet gum stands before my eyes
As weeping willows shade my mourning walk
I do not feel as hungry as I've been
To seldom see a wave or smiling face
I must be sated since I walk this road
To see the empty houses full of life

[This message has been edited by wayoutwalt (03-14-2002 12:18 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Walt Burns - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
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Portland, Oregon
1 posted 2002-03-12 07:50 PM




(sigh) Wow, these are such powerful perspectives of life as you take a stroll through your beighborhood, sweet friend, this is excellent and so very well-expressed! (big hugggsssss) Your words always amaze me, sweet friend, this is marvelous, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Walter, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Nan
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since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
2 posted 2002-03-13 10:53 PM


This is a tooth-pickin' blank verser that hummmmmms in iambic pentameter... Kewlers, walty...
Poet deVine
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since 1999-05-26
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Hurricane Alley
3 posted 2002-03-14 01:30 AM


Excellent Walt!!! You sure are getting alot out of your poetry class!
Mysteria
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since 2001-03-07
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British Columbia, Canada
4 posted 2002-03-14 02:42 AM


My goodness this was simply great Walt, the whole story, meter, everything!  I agree, if you are taking a poetry class it must be a great asset to you, as this was exceptional work.

The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.
  ~* Albert Einstein *~

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
5 posted 2002-03-14 09:23 AM


whether fictional or not, this is one of  your best Walt..one I wish to save as many lines have caught meaning to me. *s Hope you are feeling better.

hugsss
M

"Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less."
(Will Moss)

Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
6 posted 2002-03-14 09:51 AM


Walt~
A wonderfully nostalgic walk this morning~
Most enjoyable read~
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
         noles1@totcon.com                    

Christopher
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Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
7 posted 2002-03-14 11:59 AM


walt... i need to go browse through some other stuff... no harm meant toward your other poetry, but this suits me so much better than some of the older stuff. this was a broad, honest feeling that captured my attention in the very first line and held it with an iron grip of interest throughout. i am very impressed m'man, very impressed.
quote:
As weeping willows shade my mourning walk
should have been overdoing it... but somehow, in the mood of this poem, you pulled it off and made this the best line.

peace

C

wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
8 posted 2002-03-14 12:21 PM


i wanted to thank you all so much. I am about to go turn this into class and I get a lil sheepish at the chance I might have to read in front of class. Thanks all for the boost of confidence!!
suthern
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Louisiana
9 posted 2002-03-15 04:06 PM


This is wonderful, wow... one to be very proud of. *S* I especially like the last verse... your words paint a vivid picture of time and things changing... whether we're ready for those changes or not. Well done!
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

10 posted 2002-03-15 04:20 PM


Excellent Walty, so good to read you again, it has been so long.

Maree

elisaseyes
Member
since 1999-07-15
Posts 196
fort worth texas
11 posted 2002-03-15 08:39 PM


Well you didn't get to read it in class and anyway I am the reason you have class but I digress nice poem Walt.
Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
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Listening to every heart
12 posted 2002-03-15 08:53 PM



...where once an oak, is...

rebirth...

well done Walt...this brought a lot back....

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