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Open Poetry #19
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Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095


0 posted 2002-03-11 09:55 PM


I don’t suppose it matters that it is autumn.
The air is in its original condition;
worn and used:
It is as always in its enormity
suffocating me
with recollections

once again.

In its dampness, I remember
how stupidly happy I was just sitting with you
(or was that happily stupid?)
I would watch your jet-black lashes
greet your nearly coloured-of-almond cheeks
Ev-e-ry time
revealing the deep-green-sovereignty of your eyes
without their usual covering;
and nude.

This always held me in a stupor

And sometimes
when yesterday finally catches up
rustling her nut-brown leaves from  
second-hand Eucalypts

It still does.


Maree

[This message has been edited by Dark Angel (03-12-2002 01:42 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 Dark Angel - All Rights Reserved
Magnus
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Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
1 posted 2002-03-11 10:01 PM


Excellent...very nicely done..love the
ending...

Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2002-03-11 10:10 PM




(smiles) Awwwwwwwww, your imagety always make sme smile, sweet friend, this is so sweet and gorgeous! (kiss on cheek) We all love you so much, sweet friend, this is beautiful! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Maree, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
3 posted 2002-03-11 10:16 PM


Maree

The seasons change bring memories to me too..I like the way you used color to bring out the emotion...the ending was great!  

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
4 posted 2002-03-12 01:54 AM


I like this very much, Maree...as Martie said, it was very clever the way you used colors, which Autumn is known for, to relate to the end of a bright, or sunny, love affair on it's way to the cold freeze of winter. I guess that's why they call it Fall.....
Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

5 posted 2002-03-12 02:04 AM


In its dampness, I remember
how stupidly happy I was just sitting with you
(or was that happily stupid?)

Amen.  Let us remember.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
6 posted 2002-03-12 04:31 AM


Enjoyed this very much...James
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2002-03-12 05:15 AM


awwww, this is a great piece! Very nice, loved it! I can relate to that "sitting there happily, stupidly, just to look at you" thing. Some men are just that way, so beautiful...so captivating...even after they are gone.
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

8 posted 2002-03-12 05:52 AM


...

brought tears to eyes, M.


Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
9 posted 2002-03-12 09:28 AM


I see fickle love
uncomfortable on limbs
of knobbly bark
sun on head and foot
framed by a tiny
but pretty harbour
whose boats are at rest

I see inspiration
of sunsets
and acceptance of
the following darkness
and the awakening
of fond memories
with every new day


You feel autumnal
and it matters
It has to
because you
reminded me
of a coming spring.

J

[This message has been edited by Jamie (03-12-2002 08:46 PM).]

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
10 posted 2002-03-12 07:50 PM


Maree,

this was achingly beautiful--
one of your finest pieces or
at least i think so. you have
such a gifted talent my friend
and it's a wonderful treat to read the
gold that flares from your poets pen!
thank you for sharing. take care. i'll
be in touch with you soon.

love ya.
amy

"Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't
mean they don't love you with all they have"

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

11 posted 2002-03-12 08:24 PM


Gee Jamie - that's such a touching poem
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

12 posted 2002-03-14 06:26 AM


Magnus, Thank you so very much for having a read, glad you liked.

Noah, thank you so much.

Hi Martie, so glad you liked, thanks so much for your lovely reply

Deer, yup I guess that's why they call it Fall. Thanks for stopping by and having a read.

Duncan, Amen indeed! Thank you.

James, glad you enjoyed. I thank you.

Passing Shadows, thank you for your lovely reply and for stopping by.

SB, I am sorry.


Jamie, dear friend

I see fickle love
uncomfortable on limbs
of knobbly bark
sun on head and foot
framed by a tiny
but pretty harbour
whose boats are at rest

I see inspiration
of sunsets
and acceptance of
the following darkness
and the awakening
of fond memories
with every new day


You feel autumnal
and it matters
It has to
because you
reminded me
of a coming spring.


This is so achingly beautiful. Thank you.
love you.

Miss Amy You are always so kind and generous with your replies. Thank you so very much Hon.

Thank you all so very much for your lovely replies and for stopping by, I appreciate it so much.

Maree

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
13 posted 2002-03-14 12:17 PM


"Ev-e-ry time "

sweet. this was very cool, a melancholic remembrance... a lot of that going on lately.

peace

C

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
14 posted 2002-03-14 12:38 PM


enjoyed
S Arthur Grey
Senior Member
since 2001-03-19
Posts 719
woven by a poet's loom
15 posted 2002-03-14 12:40 PM


Maree,
This has a very genuine feel to it.
Well done!
    

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
16 posted 2002-03-14 09:50 PM



It's a keeper...the imagery alone makes it a keeper, the memories...bring back a lifetime...

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
17 posted 2002-03-15 03:55 PM


have I told you just how excellent a writer you are my friend???

and, if you ever need to hear it, just take a look at this poem. . . it's amazing. . . the form of it, the way that the lines fall onto the page. . . and the subject. . . handled in so perfect a manner, that it just stands right on the page. . .

the emotions are quite real, and it reaches out and touches the heart of the reader. . . just like me. . .

beautiful my friend. . .

------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

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