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Open Poetry #19
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Twirling Trance
| Open Poetry #19 |
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Twirling Trance |
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Zinsser Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641Calif. |
Twirling Trance Come dance with me, Let me lead tonight Fear not my trance please Twirling in tune, I give glimpse of the real me In rhythm with the moon But come daybreak, Depart from you too soon Heart ache I cannot take For yours to give I'll not wait The odds against are high in stakes Dance with me the moon awaits My hand stokes your cheek as I turn and walk away Memories best instead of loveless end, I already regret this day Connie McDonald A very smart man helped me clean this write up to what it is (good or bad ) I don't know if he wants his name here too.... but I do want him to know its his also and Thanks |
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| © Copyright 2002 Connie McDonald - All Rights Reserved | |||
Nightshade 
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
My hand stokes your cheek as I turn and walk away Memories best instead of loveless end, I already regret this day This is a great write. Chris  Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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Tim Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794 |
"very smart man", guess that leaves us farm boys out, but he done helped you write a wonderfully expressed poem. Enjoyed muchly. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssss) This is a beautifully heartaching write, sweet friend, my heart goes out to you and I hope you now live many more days of endless memories that you will never regret feeling! (kiss on cheek) We all love you so much, sweet friend, this is wonderful! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Connie, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Connie, I think it is just fine.... the message is very clear and was enjoyable. |
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PearlsB4Swine Member
since 2002-02-01
Posts 130where the heart finds me |
It takes a smart woman to know when to walk away from a no-win situation and this is a really well thought out work. To you and your friend, I say...well done! |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"I give glimpse of the real me In rhythm with the moon" I love this part.........and the strength in your words shine |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Connie I love this, and you are kind. I have had other poets help me also when I get stuck and we all do time to time, and I always feel the same way, as if their name should go under the poem with mine. But I have been told that the thoughts and ideas are yours and so it is truly your poem, with help from a kind friend. love this, floria Floria |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
I think Strbbux said it well, These words are yours since they are your emotions Any help was minor to the excellent poem you wrote. Gloom |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
When two poets talk through one pen, then we know it will be as good as it gets...for sharing such a passion cannot go unnoticed... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I give glimpse of the real me In rhythm with the moon But come daybreak, Depart from you too soon Heart ache I cannot take For yours to give I'll not wait The odds against are high in stakes Dance with me the moon awaits ====================== I love the rhythm and flow of this... great mix of theme, imagery and cadence. Well done poetess Connie and "smart man" |
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