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Open Poetry #19
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Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455


0 posted 2002-03-08 12:23 PM



My last coin
(with thanks to Gloom and SEA)


I stood out back tonight
rested my hand on the dog’s head
and looked up at the sky
like I’ve done a thousand times

tonight
the sky was clear
stars were everywhere

I wished on none

My last coin has been thrown
I stand here now
at the whim of a fountain
and the sound of
a copper splash

and wait


[This message has been edited by Duncan (03-08-2002 12:34 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 Duncan - All Rights Reserved
Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
1 posted 2002-03-08 12:39 PM


wishing well done, sir
mirror man
Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814

2 posted 2002-03-08 01:26 AM


Yes, this is good.  Like the mood, and well done.
Magnus
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Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
3 posted 2002-03-08 04:23 PM


And I hope your wait is a fruitful one.
For this poem is very well written and
carries a lot of feelings within..

Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
4 posted 2002-03-08 04:29 PM




(sigh) Oh Duncan, this is soooooo beautiful, sweet friend, may all your wishes come true for your heart and forever fill you with all of lifes happiness! (big hugggsssss) We all love you so much, sweet friend, this is excellent! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Duncan, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Midnitesun
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since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
5 posted 2002-03-08 06:39 PM


I hope that coin toss makes your wish come true.
SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
6 posted 2002-03-08 08:24 PM


I have a feeling, you won't wait long Cowboy I love this
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
7 posted 2002-03-08 08:37 PM


"A dream is a wish your heart makes....."
May all your wishes come true soon Duncan.
Good write!  Hugs.

~Sometimes all you really wish for...
     is someone to wish for you.~

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
8 posted 2002-03-08 08:44 PM


Very Good Duncan...stood there with you...waiting.

jwesley

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
9 posted 2002-03-08 08:57 PM



Duncan, you're great. I do love your way of writing very much.

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Check out my new website: lookheretitia.fcpages.com (I didn't 'link' this, so it won't take too much space).I

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

10 posted 2002-03-08 09:14 PM


Great. Let us all know if it comes true Duncan. Loved this. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

Marsha
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since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
11 posted 2002-03-09 08:25 AM


Duncan darling boy this is so well written utterly utterly wonderful. I hope the wish comes true soon.

Absolutely fabulous writing, excellent


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy


To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79


GenXer
Senior Member
since 2001-12-15
Posts 583
USA
12 posted 2002-03-09 12:59 PM


Duncan - I read both Gloom's and Sea's poems, and now yours, and all three are very good.  I like how you ended this with a small glimmer of hope in the last wish being cast.  Nicely done.

Dave  

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
13 posted 2002-03-09 03:45 PM



Strange how we do things differently, I go and throw, and then rush head on to meet the wish waiting...

walker
Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240
Florida
14 posted 2002-03-09 05:31 PM


Confidence my friend, your wishes will come true(if they haven't by now) Love the poem.
Dee
Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia
15 posted 2002-03-09 08:23 PM


Duncan, I loved the mood of this one. Mind if I toss a coin too?

Dee

I wish you every happiness and may you always have the best of the good things in life.     a brand

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

16 posted 2002-03-09 09:20 PM


at the whim of a fountain
and the sound of
a copper splash
=============================

I'll meet your whim and raise you a penny.
Hey Dunc...if ya already got your wish...does that mean the splash turned into a star?
another question ... anyone ever tell ya yer so cool

Awake again I can't pretend ... and I know I'm alone ...
And so close to the end of the feelings we've known.

~Jackson Browne~


Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
17 posted 2002-03-09 09:32 PM


Nice writing, Duncan...
I hope that all your wishes come true

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
18 posted 2002-03-10 11:32 AM


enjoyed
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