The Law As Applied To Church Bells

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RSWells
Member Elite

since 2001-06-17

Posts 2533

0 posted 2002-03-07 03:14 PM

Description; Suspended in cotes, towers or steeples
             from vertex yet being on this physical
             plain we, the representatives of the
             people will set forth the regulations
             for the manufacturing, location and
             use in the commonwealth.

Article I    Give unto Ceasar that which is Ceasar
             and that which is God's unto God.

  (exception A) Lest the state need borrow God in
                declarations, pledges or articles
                which deliver motivation to it's
                peoples in times of war.

Bell as described;
             A hollow instrument of cast metal, an
             alloy of about 80% copper, 20% tin
             and at times of lead and zinc....

  (exception B) Manufacturing may be suspended in
                times of war, copper, tin and lead
                being crucial to the national
                defense. (see exception A)

             ...typically cup shaped with a flaring
             mouth and rung by a tongue like clapper

  (exception C) The combination of tongue and mouth
                to be regularly certified by the
                Health department under the auspice
                of the Surgeon General.

             ...or hammer or like which when struck
             by a bell ringer emits a peal or ring.

  (exceptions D, E, F (1,2 & 3), G)
              (D) the potential of such a violent
                  act being monitored by the
                  Justice department.
              (E) the bell ringer to be bonded as
                  not being a ring leader.
              (F) the peal described as any loud
                   (resounding) sustained sound
                   or series therof which will
                   automatically come under the
                   control of;
                 (1) Defense department whose
                     cannons peal,
                 (2) National Weather service whose
                     thunder peals,
                 (3) Tipper Gore security act which
                     oversees any peal regarding
                     applause, laughter et al.
               (G) Any and all "saved by the bell"
                   will be examined by the Gaming
                   Commission whose own ring
                   encompasses all whose bell's
                   might otherwise be rung would
                   the bell not rung.

Article II;   But for the limits of church services
              any bellringing employed to;
                  (A) announce or proclaim,
                  (B) usher in and out,
                  (C) summon or
                  (D) signal
              would otherwise be referred to;
                  (a) Federal Communications
                  (b) Federal Oversight Commitee
                      on Unions
                  (c) Federal Court System
                  (d) Traffic Department

Notes: All belligerence and bellicose matters refer
       to Article I, section D, Exceptions

       All belle lettres refer to Library of
       Congress

       All bearers of bellerophontic letters are
       entitled to protection under the 5th
       amendment

       All references to Bellerophon, a mythical
       Corinthian hero mounted on Pegasus who slay
       the Chimera (fire breathing monster with a
       lion's head, goat's body and serpent's tail)
       refer alternately to;
       Immigration,
       Federal Aviation,
       Fire Department,
       Agriculture.
       Otherwise see the Law As Applied To Chimes

"Happy people have no history" - French Proverb

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

1 posted 2002-03-07 04:10 PM

this is exceptional. . . I love the style of it first of all. . . reminds me a little of Bukowski. . .

the use of the form is well done also. . . to make it look like a law (is the law poetic?) is a stroke of genius. . .

hopefully, others will see what's going on here as well. . . bravo Sir, bravo!!

--------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

2 posted 2002-03-07 07:02 PM

Wow... this is absoloutely amazing, I love the format and the language you have used is beautifully ugly. I have seen something similar to this but not as complex or inspiring, this is a great work and worthy of much applause.

Andrew

You have been bitten by the Zu bug

mirror man
Senior Member

since 2001-01-08

Posts 814

3 posted 2002-03-08 02:30 AM

This is very strange to me, and unique. Reading over several times. Excellent use of language, and biting irony. Very good.

[This message has been edited by mirror man (03-08-2002 03:16 AM).]

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

4 posted 2002-03-08 11:19 AM

Ok. I want to know who, why, when, and what precipitated this writing.

Please?

RSWells
Member Elite

since 2001-06-17

Posts 2533

5 posted 2002-03-08 12:06 PM

Well..ok..since it's you. I live across the street from a church and enjoy it's timely bells. Couple that with a recent (?) lack of respect for the litigious and authoritative world which smothers me, I blended. But did you (and your lawyer) like it?

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

6 posted 2002-03-08 12:36 PM

I will keep it! That tells you, Yes, I liked it. Did my attorney see it? I don't think so. But he may...

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

7 posted 2002-03-08 02:05 PM

LOL, I absolutely love this one! It rings many bells for me right now, as I am mired in a probate situation.

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

8 posted 2002-03-08 03:11 PM

I have to tell you Richard this is the best piece you have ever presented, it is simply brilliant in content, presentation, and use of the english language as we have all forgotten it. Simply brilliant! Again I sit in awe of what you make out of looking out your window.

~* Without deep reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people ." *~

Einstein

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