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Open Poetry #19
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This Is How Goodbye Is Said
| Open Poetry #19 |
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This Is How Goodbye Is Said |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704
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You’re summer-touched, with those brown-olive eyes and skin. Such a heady mix of savour and truth, knowing that Fear-Falls, and ice-creams in January couldn’t carve the necessary push; a method for our salvation. We watched Pearl Harbour with Ahmed, in the middle of last year, and I remember feeling your hand, then, as an ocean, an endless pull – magnetic. When we danced, you’d reach out to brush my stray hairs away, with the look that no one else has ever seen. White looks good on you, and black, and navy green. You pull fabric around you, and absorb the colours, you walk fashion – alive. I came back from being away (and how long was it? Four days: years long) to find new shoes, the jacket everyone thinks is imported, and sheepish, you waved away the expense. I was your Hayietee, your Lotus, your existing dream in the scope of aloneness, locked in. I rescued you, that day in the library when I was talking loudly, and leaned over to apologise. So soft-spoken, I thought you were a new immigrant, missing home. and I was home, housed under the warm covers of mutual love, the desire to escape the mundane and read ‘Bridges’, and you were so afraid to ask me to translate. Inta Sena, habibi? (Are you well, my love?) So, we translated love in both languages, laughing softly, cuddled in. Mustaheid, oh mustaheid (Impossible, oh impossible) Was it only 2 nights ago, that we walked beside Mission Bay, huddled under the pretend shelter of how it might all be okay. I searched for eeire sets of steps that led into the water, watching the lines disappear under the waves thinking of sea-monsters and possibilities you wouldn’t understand. Masalam Alawi, gulbi (farewell Ali, my heart) ~All my life I've been crazy I may hold the answer a 1000 times through it's my law~ A.M [This message has been edited by Severn (03-07-2002 06:17 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Thank you, Little K...for this. I feel as if I have peeked into a bit of privacy, having loosed a leaf of memory between the covers...of a book... thank you very much! |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
personal..touching....revealing.. as usual you have captured in words the emotions in such a way as to make me envious of the talent... as for the heartache that lies beneath the words.... my heart understands. |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssss) This is sooooo sad and heartaching, sweet friend, my heart goes out to you, this too reads like a diary entry tucked away in the far back from the rest of the pages, with such a powerful expression of love and loss! (sigh) My heart goes out to you, sweet friend, I pray now true love has welcomed you and has never said goodbye to your heart aagin, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Kamla, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Suthern, A wonderful write made me think back for a moment. |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
wonderful cups of color sitting on different tables with memories for coffee enjoyed the view |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
*sigh* a soft look at the soul of your heart...where tenderness and love flow through your words...This poem brought tears of understanding to my eyes...A poem of pure emotion....**big hugs**  Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Kamla And when there is no other way for you, to write it makes it all so true, what to do, what to do with the trust and lust that covered two Wonderful writing as always, Hugs and love |
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RMW Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424 |
Now this...is you. Excellent. Bob |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
kamla(i trust you don't mind me calling you that?) everytime i read you, i feel like throwing my hands in frustration, dumping all my pretentious musings away, thinking resignedly,"what makes me think i can be a writer?" only, i never did throw my writings away because while doubting my abilities, i am inspired to write so that one day, i can say to myself,"now, this might look like something that severn would write"... you seem to have a way of looking beyond the surface, of piecing several incidents together in a down-to-earth way...your poems have breath and depth and sizzles with attitude..mine are just the angst-ridden ramblings of a self-absorbed whiner... such is the power of your words..thank you for sharing |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
i hope this isn't autobiographical..if so, HUGS and may the days get better for you |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
I've always said that the best poems come from the heart. . . this is no exception. . . this is really a moment captured here K, frozen in the memory of the writer, translated for the reader. . . and shared with the universe. . . I love the way that you use the second language here to show that love is universal. . . it's perfect. . . wonderfully done my friend. . . ------------------------------------------------------------ To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Where to begin-- perhaps with ending, which though sad is representitive of proverbial new beginnings such as today being the first day of the rest of your life...etc...etc.. You may have only the bitter taste of regret right now--but wait.. the sweet will come later, when all your dreams begin to take shape in your life.. maybe that is why it is bittersweet and not sweetbitter... Whichever way this goodbye turns, make it your choice, not from any insecurity or doubts you may have, but from the wants that hunger for more than a moment.... As always I am humbled by your talent. Hugs sweet  KJ~'sheep'ishly~sorry couldn't resist There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Beautiful...like a passage from a personal diary....such a vision you gave us within this poem... |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
After reading some of other replies, I have thought about the statements saying this poem reads like a diary entry. I have to disagree. ( in a nice way of course..heh ) It reads to me more like what it implies it is in the title-- kind of a poetic Dear John... a goodbye love letter if you will. And while the words are very personal and revealing, they are meant ( in the context as written) not for a book of secrets, but as an open hearted goodbye. As Brad might say-- that is only my opinion. ...and of course, I could be wrong. JThere is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. byron [This message has been edited by Jamie (03-08-2002 12:46 AM).] |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
not sure i agree with that - seems more like the idea of it rather than the actual "dear john." there is no impression of saying "go away," but rather a string of reminiscienes; good times appreciated after the fact. this reads more to me like the review of an explanation of what was appreciated, what was learned. as far as your 'normal' poetry goes, this is a bit outside, a bit more... conversational. i really liked the intermixed language as well - it gave it a quality which passed along the intimacy in a very unique way. ok - obviously i'm not awake yet, so maybe i'll come back to this... just wanted to let you know i'd read it. hugZ C ps: jamie - when did brad ever say he could be wrong?  |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Severn thank you for sharing this with us, It is so sensitive in content and private and yet, oh so lovely to read. You did well and I thank you for sharing, It made me feel good to see such love. floria Floria |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
I don't recall if Brad ever said anything about being wrong--lol those words were meant to be attributed to only me, which is much more reasonable.... I can see your point about it being mostly about 'the way we were'... but do you have to say go away to say goodbye?... I guess some of the time you would... J |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
I can't think of good-bye being said in a better way than this. I liked the combined language SB and it's nice to read you again Maree |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Lovely words, K - We are truly the sum total of our experiences, aren't we?... This one has been a very significant one... Take it with you always...  |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Oh, this shows your incredible way with words so well. Goodbye is hard, I haven't realy got it down yet. Sandra |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Kamla...Saying goodbye is always touched with sadness, but this piece just aches with personal feelings. Incredible write! Sorry I cannot find the words to say how this stopped me in my tracks, and whispered to me to read it over again. Into my library it goes! ~Hugs, Nancy~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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