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Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

0 posted 2002-03-01 11:55 AM

Black walls, black floor, black ceiling,
I close the door and stand engulfed in night.
This one room not fallen ruined,
has time passed it by in fright?

I take out three mountain tears,
mine by right of death;
warm them in my palm,
and then ignite them with my breath.

By their soft lilac glow
I see nothing but the walls
reflecting their cool radiance,
like tiny moonlight balls.

Then in the floor appears a ring
the color of old blood.
It pulses with a rhythm
like a tide in ebb and flood.

I take a sprig of lavender-
the pulse stutters, seems to flinch.
I toss it in the circle
and fall back from a putrid stench.

The reek of old corruption
strikes me like a blow.
As I breathe dried herbs and rise,
there’s a rumbling from below.

Then he stands revealed in glory-
malice-crowned Despite.
I think, “I’ll never beat him;
but he’ll know there’s been a fight.”

As the pulsing crimson rises,
he looks around, then down at me;
the room echoes to his laughter-
not impressed with what he sees:

A small and feeble daughter
of truth that’s undefiled,
a bent old hag, no champion-
no more menace than a child.

He snaps his fingers once-
a hot wind knocks me to the wall.
I crack my head and lose my breath;
and helpless, broken, fall.

He cackles like some rabid hen,
starts to step out of the ring.
I draw my wand, a willow cane;
Webbed inside its spell, I sing.

I sing of springtime breezes,
of early buds that burst and bloom,
and as my cracked voice rises
the scent of jasmine fills the room.

Strength comes to me as wine
flows in a drunkard’s mouth.
I sing of summer seasons,
of the bluebells in the south.

The demon roars in anger,
points at my reflection in the wall,
“See your death, mad singer,
your gods can’t hear you call!”

But though he screams in fury,
he can’t leave the blood-soaked ring.
So long as I have voice,
the light within me sings.

I tell of first love’s beauty,
when a young girl meets a boy.
If you look, it’s all around you;
this world is filled with joy.

I sing of mountain snowbanks
and tiny chuckling brooks,
of moonlight on the ocean,
of a scholar’s love for books.

The woman in the wall
is a pain-filled, dying thing.
But through this Threshold Night
the light within me sings.

From the tower’s eastern window,
dawn’s first ray hits the floor.
The demon screams frustration,
dissolves in smoke, and is no more.

As I rise into the sunshine
On iridescent wings,
I leave one life behind me;
what will this new life bring?

Nan

[This message has been edited by Pilgrimage (03-01-2002 01:20 PM).]

Marsha

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-10

Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England

1 posted 2002-03-01 12:05 PM

Nan darling girl oh how wonderfully you’ve weaved this incredibly and compelling tale together. I’m stunned by the power of this, it’s utterly utterly fabulous. A story of awesome magnitude I would love this illustrated darling heart it really would be stunning. Mercedes Lackey would be Green with jealousy. I know I am, this is absolutely wonderful. You do know I love this one utterly don’t you? Good I think this is one of your best

This is a fabulous poem darling girl absolutely fabulous, well done

Absolutely first class writing

Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

2 posted 2002-03-01 12:06 PM

This was so immensely enjoyable Nan. The images were so vivid, I felt like I was standing in the room and saw the light appearing. Well done!

On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free.
~Me~

(I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~Garth)

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite

since 2000-01-30

Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London

3 posted 2002-03-01 12:15 PM

Excellent
Loved every word

strbbux
Member Elite

since 2001-12-19

Posts 3859

4 posted 2002-03-01 01:01 PM

Nan I got totally involved and lost in this piece. what a story and I am so glad you flew away into the light. This is a great imaginative write. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

5 posted 2002-03-01 01:28 PM

First-to everyone-I apologize for the length of this poem. I don't write long ones, honest. But I cut as much as I could and this was all needed for the story to work. And I realize that when you combine it with the first two, that makes it some kind of saga. Sorry. I'll do a two-liner next time, honest.

Dear Marsha,
I knew you'd say you loved it, even if you didn't. But to compare me with Mercedes Lackey, well. I am conceited now!

Dear Gentle Spirit,
I'm so glad you enjoyed it-I was trying to show a picture I had in my head.

Dear Rex Allen,
Why, how kind of you!

Dear Floria,
I got involved in the story myself, and it just had to end that way. When I finally realized that, I had to smile. When I started the first poem, I had no idea how it would evolve.

Nan

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

6 posted 2002-03-01 08:37 PM

It may have been long....BUT...I believe
every syllable of it needed to be there..

Loved the cadence of this...the story flow
and the rhyme were excellent...

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

7 posted 2002-03-01 08:48 PM

BRAVO!!! WOW, THIS IS WONDERFUL, SWEET FRIEND, I LOVE IT!!! (BIG HUGGGSSSSSS) I a so happy a whole new life of hope and happiness is beginning, sweet friend, may it bring many promises and joys always to your heart! (kiss on cheek) We all love you so much, sweet friend, this is outstanding! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Nancy, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Krissy
Senior Member

since 2002-02-22

Posts 556
kent England

8 posted 2002-03-01 09:05 PM

Nan Hi there This is really good, I’ve really enjoyed this story and have eagerly followed it throughout. Mum is right Mercedes would be jealous of this. I’m also a fan of her writing, what Keth started when she lent mum those books. I prefer the Vows And Honour series and Mercedes would love this tale. It really is good. Well written

Love and warm stuff
As always
Krissy

And while thy willing soul transpiers
at every pore with instant fires
Andrew Marvell 1621-1678

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

9 posted 2002-03-01 11:13 PM

This is exceptionally beautiful, Nan...and I really mean it. I just loved the imagery.

As I rise into the sunshine
On iridescent wings,
I leave one life behind me;
what will this new life bring?

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

10 posted 2002-03-01 11:40 PM

Nice writing...James

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

11 posted 2002-03-02 12:29 PM

Dear Magnus,
Thanks-I'm glad you could get through it. I just couldn't cut any more and still tell the story right.

Dear Noah,
Thank you for your sweet words-you always encourage me.

Dear Krissy,

Glad you liked the story. I didn't know what I was starting with the first one. I never look ahead.

Dear Lyra,
I was happy when the ending came to me-I believe in life and joy.

Dear JamesMichael,
Thank you. I actually do better with sonnets and rondelets. Sagas are not my forte, but this one just kept developing.

Nan

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

12 posted 2002-03-02 12:48 PM

Pilgrimage,
This splendid saga is brilliant and never too long, I read with breathless anticipation each segment hoping for the next. The ending left me amazed and I am not easily amazed.
Wonderful work lady. I bow to you.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

13 posted 2002-03-02 11:25 AM

Wow...

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

14 posted 2002-03-02 01:26 PM

Dear Kethry,
Thank you (Nan curtseys and dimples up adorably[I don't have dimples, but how are you to kow?]) The last part was the hard one. The other two, especially the first, wrote themselves.

Dear Sunshine,

A 'wow' is a wonderful thing to see. Thanks.

Nan

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