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Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

0 posted 2002-02-22 04:38 PM

I've been trying out a new form of poetry called dactyls or double dactyls (I think the person who invented them should be hung) It's an interesting form of verse similar to a limerick (or so I'm told)
However I still don't understand the rules so I'm going to post and invite critiques to improve my form.

Septimus, Octimus
Leroy the Octopus
Swims in the ocean to
Light up his life

Inktoxicology
Flashing across the sea
Calling Felicity
To make her his wife

The first stanza is supposed to be
(two nonsense words with long, short, short feet)
(proper name) ** If you think Leroy the Octopus is not a proper name it is. I once had a handyman that we always called Leroy the Octopus, never just Leroy.

(long, short, short foot with an extra syllable)
(rhyme for second verse)
*I'm not sure what the second stanza is supposed to be

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown

[This message has been edited by Kethry (02-22-2002 05:13 PM).]

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2002-02-22 04:57 PM

(chuckling) I can see this is a form way beyond my feeble brain to understand...

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

2 posted 2002-02-22 05:00 PM

WOW!!! Ooohhhhhhhh...this would make a wonderful challenge for all of us at Passions, you should post this as a challenge attempt, this seems so interesting! (kiss on cheek) This is so cute, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You hav esuch a beautiful heart, sweet Kethry, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

3 posted 2002-02-22 05:18 PM

Keth...thanx for the dactyllic lesson for
today....keep learning....can't go wrong by
doing that...

Krissy
Senior Member

since 2002-02-22

Posts 556
kent England

4 posted 2002-02-22 06:50 PM

Hi Keth it’s Krissy, I’ll give you a big clue as too who I am, you have to imagine I’m speaking with a biscuit in my mouth. I wub you Kethp Mum said you’d guess without the clue.

Yes it’s your heart niece, Marsha’s daughter, I begged mum to let me join so I can leave little notes like she does. So here’s your little note, this is too clever for mum she’ll never do it. And I get to answer it before mum too, so she’ll be following me for a change.

I love this almost as much as I know mum will. It looks very difficult but it gave me a huge smile. Bye for now I’ll speak to you soon I wub you Kethp

Love and warm stuff
As always
Krissy

And while thy willing soul transpiers
at every pore with instant fires
Andrew Marvell 1621-1678

Silver Streak
Member Elite

since 2002-01-02

Posts 3625
FL, USA

5 posted 2002-02-22 06:54 PM

Bravo! Keth, you make the life of a poet very exciting. And now I, too, must learn more about your mischief.

((Kethry))
-newell

Sharing God's Love through perfectlovepoetry.com

Copyright: 2002 Newell Elsworth Usher

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

6 posted 2002-02-22 07:37 PM

Kethry - you're mobvalous. The writing soibouib. Love this new style, but will have to read more to catch on. Now, pour me some more wine please... hehehe

BC

Lucie
Senior Member

since 1999-06-20

Posts 1077
Houston

7 posted 2002-02-23 12:10 PM

Duh-Dum-Dactyl..... I thought you discovered a new dinosaur.. giggle. I have no idea how to help with this one.. looks good to me though.. I know lots of nonsense words.. I make 'em up all the time. Good luck though!

Remember me with a smile on your face, or please don't remember me at all.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

8 posted 2002-02-23 12:28 PM

I was going to attempt one of these Keth, but I'm afraid. Altho I thought it would be cute to write a "terror-dactyl!"

You can have that one if ya like, I have to work on getting this particular form of ME from in front of this screen! Me arse is spreading as I type!

Cute tho, and you are much braver than I!

Aimster
Member Elite

since 2000-02-19

Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC

9 posted 2002-02-23 12:34 PM

keth,

hi

i congratulate you for trying a new
challenge, this looked rather difficult
but you seemed to tackle it with not
too many obstacles. you're a talented
writer and wonderful friend. best wishes
to you. take care.

amy

"Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't
mean they don't love you with all they have"

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

10 posted 2002-02-23 01:18 PM

Keth,
Never heard of this form but it sounds interesting.

Marsha

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-10

Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England

11 posted 2002-02-23 05:07 PM

Keth darling sister of my heart and holder of the stars, and Krissy is right absolutely spot on I have no chance of doing these. Too tricky darling heart, I’ll leave them for the real writers like you and Nan.

Do you notice my darling daughter getting all competitive about who she answers before me, the little trollop, I’ll give her a beating when she appears latter. Well, either that or I’ll hide the biscuits, which will be punishment enough.

Truly outstanding darling, and I think I’ll steal Krissy’s catch phrase I wub you Kethp

And yes I do love it, exceptional and fun

Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79

mirror man
Senior Member

since 2001-01-08

Posts 814

12 posted 2002-02-24 02:42 AM

Interesting form. Very difficult form also. All those rules! I think the image of the octopus fits this form well. Good work.

BrightStar
Member

since 2001-04-08

Posts 219

13 posted 2002-02-25 06:42 PM

You're kidding, right?

Admiring you at Passions.

strbbux
Member Elite

since 2001-12-19

Posts 3859

14 posted 2002-02-25 07:47 PM

Keth, I have never seen this in poetry forms. Is this for real? I would love to try it. thanks for posting it, floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

15 posted 2002-02-25 10:46 PM

A dactyl, as you may know, is a poetic foot of the form >-- (ON-off-off). For example, interstate, realize, microphone, cereal, limerick, etc. etc. A double dactyl, naturally enough, is two dactyls in a row.

A double dactyl is also a poem, a form invented by Anthony Hecht and Paul Pascal. Quite like a limerick, it has a rigid (if peculiar) structure. Two stanzas, each comprising three lines of dactylic dimeter followed by a line with a dactyl and a single accent. The two stanzas have to rhyme on their last line. The first line of the first stanza is repetitive nonsense. The second line of the first stanza is somebody's name -- strictly speaking, a proper noun. Note that this name must itself be double-dactylic. E.g. Gloria Vanderbilt, Jesus of Nazareth, Gilbert and Sullivan, Archangel Gabriel. In the second stanza, one entire line must be a double-dactylic word. E.g. biopsychology, geopolitical, gastrointestinal, abecedarian, etc. etc.

Ok, Keth...get those double-feet moving!

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

16 posted 2002-02-25 11:20 PM

Wow Keth!!!!!!!!
I would be terrified to try one of those....especially since the only dactyls I know of are dinosaurs, like terradactyl...I don't even know if I spelled it right...also, the word dactyl is often used in medical terminology for fingers and toes.
I do applaud your bravery though!

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

wayoutwalt
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

17 posted 2002-02-25 11:45 PM

those were cool yuh

Magicmystery
Senior Member

since 2002-02-13

Posts 821
Windsor, Ontario, Canada

18 posted 2002-02-26 01:01 AM

Can I try.... I think I understand the rules....

My Two Cats.

Feline antagonists
Mischief and Mercury,
Run 'cross the furnature,
Tear up the heap,

Kittifurairborndust,
Up to the freezer top,
Mercury safe at last
Fat cats can't leap.

I just had to give this a shot... Thanks Kethry....

ps I thought that yours was soooo cute...

Cherish the good memories past and look forward to the adventure called Tomorrow.
But above all... be kind to yourself today.

[This message has been edited by Magicmystery (02-26-2002 02:31 AM).]

ecrivan
Member Elite

since 2001-12-10

Posts 3923
my own state

19 posted 2002-02-26 01:35 AM

I laud your audaciousness at using terms that
are in my technical bag too..this sounds good; right now I just had my last performance as Polonius so can't really think to clearly on new styles,I hope to read it again when I am more lucid

[This message has been edited by ecrivan (02-26-2002 01:38 AM).]

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

20 posted 2002-02-26 02:02 AM

You have got to be kidding here right, I am still trying to do the da dum thing and Kethry you come out with this? And Michael - get out of town LOL, my head is in a