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Open Poetry #19
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Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2002-02-22 07:30 AM


my feet wrote books for you today
concrete pages of step words
I ran-typed quickly
with heel toe touch
I made you long stride words

my stories had street sigh verses
there were stop light pauses
like commas with waiting watchers
in line to read

those beside me raced ahead
to be at our ending before me
those behind followed close
to make my story theirs too

my leg words were long
and I told my feet of secret maps
I was with you before me
when your eyes wanted words

I was your library place
you carried me behind the walls
to read me out loud to your woman
you blotted your wet ink

with my panting parchment..

©Dark

© Copyright 2002 ©Dark 2k - All Rights Reserved
Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
1 posted 2002-02-22 07:37 AM


You take the metaphor throughout in such fine fashion
It was a pleasure to stroll with your words.

Gloom

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
2 posted 2002-02-22 07:41 AM


humble thanks gloom
I appreciate your comments

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

3 posted 2002-02-22 08:58 AM


rather impressive DS.  The use of metaphors in this one is excellent hon. Long stepping for your words is such a pleasure....

On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free.
~Me~

(I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~Garth)

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
4 posted 2002-02-22 09:00 AM


thank you donna
for your eyes
there and
your steps

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
5 posted 2002-02-22 09:20 AM


"I was with you before me"
this line stands out more than any other to me...helen

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2002-02-22 09:38 AM


I was with you before me
when your eyes wanted words
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wonderful!
~Hugs, Nancy~

~Love, like magic, depends on believing.~

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
7 posted 2002-02-22 10:20 AM


DS

Takes me to my child and the libary friend where I ran through books and the words all opened worlds for me, and still do.  Thank you for the way you write.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
8 posted 2002-02-22 10:54 AM


Ms Helen, thank you for your eyes on my humble words..

Ms Nancy, you enchant me with your eyes, thank you..

Ms Martie, I appreciate your reviews and knowing I take you places that please you


vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
9 posted 2002-02-23 02:04 PM



Dark Stranger-
This is excellent!
I love the images this creates in my mind.
Extremely well penned.
Hugs,
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Silver Streak
Member Elite
since 2002-01-02
Posts 3625
FL, USA
10 posted 2002-02-23 02:13 PM


Brilliant!

Sharing God's Love through perfectlovepoetry.com

Copyright: 2002 Newell Elsworth Usher

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
11 posted 2002-02-23 03:28 PM




BRAVO!!! Oh my gosh, this is a wonderful write, dearest friend, I always love the etaphors and figurative language you use, you are sooooo original! (big hugggsssss) We all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

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