Untitled...need help with a good one

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butterflykiss989
Member

since 2002-02-19

Posts 52

0 posted 2002-02-22 12:34 PM

I fell in love that day when you looked me in the eye,
You kissed away my sadness and no longer did I cry.
You looked so deep into my heart I thought you could see my soul.
My feelings for you completed me, that final piece made me whole.
With you I was so happy my days were filled with glee,
To think that such a wonderful guy would fall in love with me.
In my mind you were perfect a man with so much to give.
I was blinded by my feelings for you,
Until you said goodbye and I no longer wanted to live.
Sometimes I feel the heartache still floating through,
My brain, my heart, my very soul, all filled with thoughts of you.
I still smile when I hear your voice,
Although to see you causes me pain.
You are like a broken bone in my body,
My heart aches because of you especially when it rains.
I'm slowly getting over you,
It hurts less and less each day.
And still everyday for you and your happiness I pray.

[This message has been edited by butterflykiss989 (02-22-2002 02:12 AM).]

amusemi
Senior Member

since 2001-12-08

Posts 1262
A State of Disarray

1 posted 2002-02-22 12:39 PM

How about: "The Rain Upon My Soul"

Liked the write.

RosePetal

Member Elite

since 2001-08-26

Posts 2985
South Florida

2 posted 2002-02-22 12:39 PM

hmmmm title ideas...

"Leftover Love"

"Sending you love"

"Soul Snatcher"

"Still a part of me"

I dunno, It's 1AM, I raelly can't think of much except the ones I mentioned.
I hope you like one of them sweetie.

enjoyed your poem

butterflykiss989
Member

since 2002-02-19

Posts 52

3 posted 2002-02-22 02:24 AM

Thank u both for your suggestions they are very apprecated and i will keep them in mind..

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

4 posted 2002-02-22 10:07 AM

butterflykiss989 - had a thought about your write. A title/ "Getting Over You".. Sad poem, but very telling of your heart...

BC

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite

since 2000-01-30

Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London

5 posted 2002-02-22 10:41 AM

" And Sometimes I Smile "

jennirey
Member

since 2002-01-24

Posts 198
North Richland HillsTx

6 posted 2002-02-22 11:15 AM

I sent you an E-mail. With Some thoughts for revision...

Hope it helps.

Jen

Treasure every moment that you have!
Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is mystery.
Today is a gift.
That's why it's called the present!!

strbbux
Member Elite

since 2001-12-19

Posts 3859

7 posted 2002-02-22 11:24 AM

"Love Blinded Me" a very nice poem here. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

jennirey
Member

since 2002-01-24

Posts 198
North Richland HillsTx

8 posted 2002-02-22 08:13 PM

Im with amusemi, I like what they wrote. "The rain upon my soul"
I guess I need to learn to read more, I thought you were asking for revision help when you were looking for help with the title, If I over stepped My bounds I sincerly do appologise.

Hugs

Jen

Treasure every moment that you have!
Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is mystery.
Today is a gift.
That's why it's called the present!!

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

9 posted 2002-02-22 09:02 PM

I think the title of a well known love song is appropriate..."Rhythm of the Falling Rain"
James

butterflykiss989
Member

since 2002-02-19

Posts 52

10 posted 2002-02-22 10:02 PM

Thanks everyone for the wonderful ideas for titles now its just gonna be hard to choose or come up with one of my own from your ideas... and jen no you did not step over your bounds I welcome constructive critism... thank u

butterflykiss989
Member

since 2002-02-19

Posts 52

11 posted 2002-02-22 10:06 PM

Thanks everyone for the wonderful ideas for titles now its just gonna be hard to choose or come up with one of my own from your ideas... and jen no you did not step over your bounds I welcome constructive critism... thank u

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