navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #19 » When You were You...repost from way, way back
Open Poetry #19
Post A Reply Post New Topic When You were You...repost from way, way back Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

0 posted 2002-02-21 09:45 PM




When you were you and I was me,
The world was happy, young and free
And every day brought ecstacy
When you were you and I was me.

When I was me and you were you,
Amid the laughs and ballyhoo,
Dreams had a way of coming true
When I was me and you were you.

But Time has a way of changing things.
The present goes; the future brings
Reminders of pasts that hurt and sting
And 'nothing' where once lived 'everything'.

Now the past is gone and you're not you
Although you say it isn't true,
Small facts of life keep showing through
That tell me that you're still not you.

A smile that comes a second late,
And food left over on your plate;
The way you faintly hesitate
Before saying, "Everthing is great!"

No, you're not you and - nor am I
This lonely look...a listless sigh
The tear still there behind my eye
Although I laugh instead of cry.

I am now what I used to be
Before I had the chance to see
What's hidden deep inside of me -
The happy man you let me be.

And you - you'll have a happy life
You'll make some lucky man a wife,
And, when pain cuts you like a knife,
You'll pass it off as 'marital strife'.

But, if pain finally gets you down,
Then get back up and look around
And listen to the lonely sound
Of MILLIONS who have never found...

That happiness is there to see,
And be glad we had the chance to be
In love, and loving, tenderly
When you were you and I was me.

© Copyright 2002 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
1 posted 2002-02-21 09:53 PM




BRAVO!!! Oh my gosh, I am so happy you re-posted this, I wish we coulde all see that the beauty of true happiness starts in loving ourselves and appreciating what was meaningful before as well! (big hugggssssss) This is wonderful, sweet friend, you truly are a man of many words, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Michael, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

jennirey
Member
since 2002-01-24
Posts 198
North Richland HillsTx
2 posted 2002-02-21 09:54 PM


Ive been here before,


Hugs

Jen

Treasure every moment that you have!
Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is mystery.
Today is a gift.
That's why it's called the present!!

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
3 posted 2002-02-21 09:54 PM


Such an excellent story of a relationship.
And of life. I remember when I was myself. It seems long ago.
Sandra

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

4 posted 2002-02-21 10:31 PM


When I was me and you were you,
Amid the laughs and ballyhoo,
Dreams had a way of coming true
When I was me and you were you.

Almost makes me want to quit while I'm ahead...not really!

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2002-02-21 10:44 PM


I know this feeling and you have written it well. Thank you for this Michael.
~Hugs, Nancy~

~Love, like magic, depends on believing.~

Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
6 posted 2002-02-21 10:47 PM


*sigh* oh gosh...*sigh* I feel this one so deeply....I know this feeling...**big big hugs...dear Balladeer...even if it is from way, way back...

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
7 posted 2002-02-21 10:54 PM



Balladeer-

I am me and you are you
Together we are we
One plus one ~ that equals two
and two's better than three

Don't you frown or fret, my 'deer
I will be true to you
Just get yourself to Phoenix
and you'll see just what I'll do

I'll always smile each time you're near
and laugh at all your jokes
I'll pay attention, just to you
Who needs those other folks

I'll make you feel so happy
You'll stick to me like glue
You may be 'hooked on Phoenix'
but, 'deer, I'm hooked on YOU!

Hugs,
~Vicky



"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

[This message has been edited by vlraynes (02-21-2002 10:55 PM).]

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
8 posted 2002-02-22 12:01 PM


when i was you and you were me
it got confusing, don't you see,
since i sit down intuitively
and you stand up, but hey, not me!  
but now i'm me and you are you
and everything's so very new
since yes, i stand, and lie there too
i am not me but you are you.
but now i am not making sense,
you aren't me in present tense
and i'm not you, i never was
i know that fact, you know, because
if i were you, i'd be right there
right where you are,  but i'm nowhere
which tells me that i am not you
and you're not me, this much is true.
no WAIT! i've got this whole thing wrong!
i've read your verse for oh so long
i thought i understood it but
i didn't, damn! oh well! so what?
i've got it now! i think i do.
when you were you, then you were you.
when i was me, well, i was me
but still i don't stand up to pee!
.
.
.
.
(this is a really great verse you've written here, Michael! i missed it the first time around. I miss a lot, i guess. geesh.... thanks for reposting it !!!! and thanks for letting me tag onto it with a little whimsy....)


ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
9 posted 2002-02-22 12:02 PM


interesting summary of a relationship


amusemi
Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262
A State of Disarray
10 posted 2002-02-22 12:09 PM


Oh dor...you crack me up!!!  

Her loss, Balladeer, her loss...


Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
11 posted 2002-02-22 08:25 AM


Noah....as always, your kindness brightens my face! Thank you, sir...

jennirey...many of us have...thanks for reading!

Sandra...well,  come back!! Your life is waiting for your return

Duncan..I don't think there's much quit in you...thank the Lord!!

Enchantress..you know the old "now you see me, now you don't" routine? You must be a magician!! *wink*

Startime...thanks, sweet lady! A hug from you is ALWAYS welcome!!

Vicky.. One plus one is definitely two
        but, in the case of me and you,
        With closeness we would feel, hon,
        One plus one would still be one!

        One times one still equals one
        Whenever all is said and done
        So, even if we multiply,
        We'll still be one as time goes by.

        One divided by one is one, too! GEE!
        So we can't be divided, you see!
        We'll always walk down Love's long path
        Even in the after-math!!

        Forget square roots! I won't go there!
        There is so much we can share.
        So come down here, my sweet fanatic
        Let's work on our mathematics!!

Doreen...LOLOL!!! Your whimsey is warmly welcome.

        You can't be me - I can't be you.
        Wearing nylons just won't do!
        (regardless of how good it feels)
        And I can't wear stilleto heels!

        Won't perm my hair and I refuse
        To pluck my brows or put on rouge.
        Won't paint my lips for anyone,
        Though LongJohn says it's lots of fun!

        I can't be you, my dear, because
        I'd never live through menopause!
        Hot flashes would drive me insane
        And monthly things would be a pain.

        So you be you and I'll be me
        And we will go on, happily.
        Stick with the potty when you pee
        And leave the urinals to me !!!!

ecrivan...one of many....thanks for reading!

amusmi...she cracks everybody up...even herself!! Thank you, kind lady

        

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

12 posted 2002-02-22 10:28 AM


I love this baladeer, I just love your rhythm and flow in all your poems, they are a joy to read as was this one. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
13 posted 2002-02-22 10:32 AM



The storyteller strikes again...giving a whole new audience a glimpse of the "still you"...

Excellent gifts you have....

Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
14 posted 2002-02-22 01:08 PM


’Deer darling boy. This is seriously excellent writing, the flow of this is perfect, the internal pace and the construction cannot be bettered. This would be good writing with just that alone, what raises it to great writing is the way it reaches within to stir the memories of the reader.

As I’ve said and so many times I’ve lost count you are a great writer. Still reiteration is always a good thing except when it is used as reasoned argument, so in this case it is allowable.

You are a storyteller pas excellence


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy


To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79


J. K. Mitchell
Member
since 2002-01-12
Posts 311
GA
15 posted 2002-02-22 01:45 PM


I could write a million words to say how much I love this poem.
It's dyanamic.  
This is exactly why I love poetry.  
The vivid pictures...OH just wonderful.

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
16 posted 2002-02-22 01:57 PM


Balladeer - Simply awesome as always. Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
17 posted 2002-02-22 03:49 PM


Love your magic pen, it always delight us with beauty

love it.

Charisma

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
18 posted 2002-02-22 03:54 PM


Bal

excellent write...wonderful flow you
have here. i enjoyed reading this poem
very much. you are a talented writer, but
this one in particular really shows of
your style. perhaps its the emotional
intensity of it all...*smiles* take care.

amy

"Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't
mean they don't love you with all they have"

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
19 posted 2002-02-22 07:43 PM


Michael

This made me feel so sad...so fragile are relationships..like rice paper written with dreams. Hugs, just because.

Krissy
Senior Member
since 2002-02-22
Posts 556
kent England
20 posted 2002-02-22 08:23 PM


Hi ‘Deer this is Krissy (Mushy’s daughter), not sure which reply you’ll read first so I’ll leave the introduction on, just in case. I really do love this flow and rhythm of this one. Mum said you were a talented writer and she’s not often wrong about that. Actually truth to tell I have been reading your poems for a couple of weeks now, and I agree with her, which obviously goes to prove we both have great taste.

This tells the story so well of a relationship on the slide and finally crashing into nothing. Oh what fools we are when we let something good slip away. Really well written, and faultless in it’s execution. Thank you for this too


Love and warm stuff
As always
Krissy

And while thy willing soul transpiers
at every pore with instant fires
Andrew Marvell 1621-1678

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
21 posted 2002-02-22 09:28 PM


i've just a line or two for you
to set it straight one time or two --
i never perm and i don't pluck!
put men-on-pause? well for a buck
perhaps i would if that's the deals -
and yes, i wear stilletto heels!!!
since when i have them on, my 'deer,
can't run from you, so never fear,
i'll be the one to wear them, true,
so i'll be me, and you be you.

hehe


Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
22 posted 2002-02-22 10:39 PM


Deer,
You seemed to have started a slew of inspiration and being not immune  to the call of your write I offer this.

if you're not you  - then who you be?
to write this write confusing me
it has your style it has your grace
it even has your ugly face
if you aren't you - I won't be terse
but tell me who then  wrote this verse
this verse in story sad and true
was it me? if you weren't you?
It can't be me for I have found
my verse won't with your style abound
so please be you until the end
and I'll be me to stay your friend
for I would miss the Balladeer
the charming heart the songs of cheer
tell me Deer and tell me true
that forever you'll be you.
Keth

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
23 posted 2002-02-22 11:53 PM


strbbux...your responses are also a joy to read! Thank you, my friend...

Sunshine...I just love to recycle Michael!! Thanks for being there....

Mushy...your reiterations are always wonderful creations! I thank you...

J.K.Mitchell...what a wonderful thing to say...thank you VERY much

Nightshade...thank you for stoppping by and enjoying!

Charisma..my magical pen has been low on ink lately but I'm glad you like the repost!!

amy...thank you, sweet girl. I confess there was emotion involved here. Thank you for seeing it...

Martie..fragile, indeed. Your hug is ALWAYS welcome..

Krissy...very nice to meet you and welcome to our little place. Any daughter of Mushy must be an exceptional person. Thanks for responding and I appreciate your kindness very much...

Doreen..Well, all my friends are from the ghettos
        And when they say they wear stilletos
        They're talking knives and not high heels
        They like the way stilletos feel
        So I'll be you in that respect
        And wear stilletos....what the heck!!

Kethry..Don't worry, lady. I'm still me
         I can't be no one else, you see.
         I tried to be another once
         But wound up feeling like a dunce.
         I tried to be a kangaroo
         So I could feel at home with you
         But I found out I couldn't hop
         At all so I just had to stop.
         I tried to eat beans like an Aussie
         But Foster's makes me feel bossy
         So I'll stay me - what can I say?
         A poet in the USA...

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
24 posted 2002-02-23 08:39 AM


And a fine poet you are... along with being a fine man and a good friend.
Keth

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
25 posted 2002-02-23 08:45 AM


’Deer darling boy, I’m just clearing up after the small whirlwind that is Krissy has passed through Passions. Hopefully she hasn’t caused too much havoc, I can only hope so. Except that I couldn’t get near my computer to reply as she sat here writing replies to all the poets that she has enjoyed reading, it was an interesting time. (And none of the offers of hot chocolate, coffee, or hot buttered toast would prise her from my seat. Normally any of those would have worked).

Your poem inspired this, so as a sort of plea bargain for inflicting Krissy on you please accept this.

When You Were You

I remember back when you were you
The skies were clear always blue
No clouds drifted across my sky
My soul flew often and quite high
The trees would all sigh your name
My life would hum a soft refrain
When you were you and I was me
The world was changed magically

I recall those long lost days of blue
Back when you were always you
The sun seemed to forever shine
Your smile made me feel so fine
Up there in the branches of the tree
Lovebirds would sing their songs for me
Way back in those days long ago
How the memories of you linger so

I reminisce about the when of you
Wonder where you went off too
I think about the here and now
Try to get by some when somehow
I miss the you who used to be
Regret too much of what I see
I wish I’d held you more back then
The you who was way back when

Marsha


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy


To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79


marya2
Junior Member
since 2002-02-13
Posts 36

26 posted 2002-02-23 10:52 AM


wow,  very nice.

marya

[This message has been edited by marya2 (02-23-2002 11:49 AM).]

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
27 posted 2002-02-23 01:25 PM


Those guys with knives are chasing me!
They've pulled them out! They're facing me!
I'm running fast, I cannot breathe!
Come quick, my 'deer! I've got the sheath
We'll stop this running and we'll live
Without the weapons! Ban the shiv!
I hate this ghetto game, these seekers
Chasing me! Bring your white sneakers!

At times like this, you must agree
It isn't easy to be me!
I'm glad you're you and don't like fighting
This isn't fun! It's not exciting!
These 5-inch heels have got to go!
I'm going barefoot now, and so
Put on your tenny-runners, save me
'Fore they catch me and enslave me!

Oh sigh! I know you are just you
And cannot rescue me, it's true,
And I am me, this verse reveals
How I should toss stilletto heels!
But if you ever see me there
Running blind and running scared,
I'll stop and wait, no fear revealed,
Your Friendship is my perfect shield.

[This message has been edited by doreen peri (02-23-2002 01:27 PM).]

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
28 posted 2002-02-23 07:14 PM


But Time has a way of changing things.
The present goes; the future brings
Reminders of pasts that hurt and sting
And 'nothing' where once lived 'everything'.

I enjoyed this very much, Deer One... and was all ready for a serious thinking session after the reading... but the melancholy lasted just a moment... something to do with the responses, I think?? LOL

RosePetal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985
South Florida
29 posted 2002-02-23 08:21 PM


hey balladeer Im glad you reposted this because I've never seen it before! Your writing is always the best! Please repost some more of your older stuff, I have only been here since open 15, so please post some of your older stuff
Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
30 posted 2002-02-24 11:32 PM


Okay Michael... , I hope you don't mind another one...so here goes!

If you're not you and we're not us
then poetry will turn to dust
and fiery words to burning embers
with no more poets to remember
with no more rhymes to read or write
Passions would be a sorry site
so Balladeer, its up to you
to make the foot fit in the shoe
for all your poet friends to wear
your poetry we love to share
oh how we'd miss your rhyming stories
and attitude, derogatory
if someone else...you should become
we'd find this website very glum.




copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

[This message has been edited by Madame Chipmunk (02-24-2002 11:33 PM).]

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #19 » When You were You...repost from way, way back

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary