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Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2002-02-21 01:30 PM


Tall top touching sky,
Snow cold dressed in white,
Birds and spirits fly,
Serene distant sight

Gloom
The Chinese Poetry form Wu-Chueh or “Curtailed” Poems of the T’ang Dynasty is a strict form of writing with Five characters in Four Lines.  Wang Wei is one of the most noted of the poets to use this Short Curtailed poetic forms, so I dedicate my attempts at an English form to him.  The differences in the languages will make some modifications to my English writing so instead of characters I’ll use syllables in my counting.  The Chinese style also tended to be about subjects of Nature, but how it was interrelated to men.
There is a Tonal quality and style to this type of poetry which can’t be properly transferred with the move to English and is ignored in my meager adaptations.




© Copyright 2002 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved
Zinsser
Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641
Calif.
1 posted 2002-02-21 01:37 PM


This one I like very very much...
  were on the same page

Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
2 posted 2002-02-21 01:50 PM


Thank you, Zinsser,
I was about to turn the page to the Ch’i-Chueh  (Seven-Character Four Line ) Curtailed Poem which is on page 239 Li Po  has a very nice example “Hearing the Flute in the City of Loyang in a Spring Night” The English translation by Wai-Lim Yip

Whose Jade-flute is this, Notes flying invisible
Scatter into Spring winds, filling City Loyang?
Hearing the “Break-a-willow-Twig” tonight,
Who can without the surge of thoughts of home?

Pleased you enjoyed my efforts.

Gloom

Silver Streak
Member Elite
since 2002-01-02
Posts 3625
FL, USA
3 posted 2002-02-21 02:37 PM


Yes, Gloom. I very much enjoy your efforts, here.
((Gloom))
-newell

Sharing God's Love through perfectlovepoetry.com

Copyright: 2002 Newell Elsworth Usher

Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
4 posted 2002-02-21 02:39 PM


well done Gloom. . . it's always wonderful to see a poet who is willing to experiment and try his hand at different forms, or work on creating new ones based on the old. . .

superb work. . .

--------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
5 posted 2002-02-21 02:44 PM


Thank you, Silver Streak,
I very much enjoy that you enjoy.

Thank you, Sven,
Glad you liked it,
I am not locked into one form or another,
Although I do have a tendency toward certain styles
And Moods.

Gloom

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
6 posted 2002-02-21 06:02 PM




(smiles) Wow, these are wonderful, you are such a delight to us all and I always marvel over all the original ideas and cadence your words contain! (big hugggsssss) We all love you so much, sweet friend, this is outstanding! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Aszard, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

7 posted 2002-02-21 06:40 PM


I love this Professor, and I love learning new poetry forms, thanks much for the lesson and the nice read. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

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