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Bamboo Garden : Wu-Chueh Poem
| Open Poetry #19 |
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Bamboo Garden : Wu-Chueh Poem |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Bamboo stalks windblown, Higher than child known, Bending with Spring wind, Old thoughts softly blend. Gloom The Chinese Poetry form Wu-Chueh or “Curtailed” Poems of the T’ang Dynasty is a strict form of writing with Five characters in Four Lines. Wang Wei is one of the most noted of the poets to use this Short Curtailed poetic forms, so I dedicate my attempts at an English form to him. The differences in the languages will make some modifications to my English writing so instead of characters I’ll use syllables in my counting. The Chinese style also tended to be about subjects of Nature, but how it was interrelated to men. [This message has been edited by Professor Gloom (02-21-2002 08:33 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Silver Streak Member Elite
since 2002-01-02
Posts 3625FL, USA |
Interesting. I think I may have done a string of these this morning, using your method, except in five line strophes, and didn't even know it. God works in strange ways.  ((Gloom)) -newell Sharing God's Love through perfectlovepoetry.com Copyright: 2002 Newell Elsworth Usher [This message has been edited by Silver Streak (02-21-2002 08:38 AM).] |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Gloom... I enjoyed botht the lesson and the form. It is at times hard to remember how the simple can be the most pleasing and the deepest... |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 BRAVO!!! Oh my gosh, I love this form, it seems interesting, I would love to give this a try too! (big hugggsssssss) We all love you so much, sweet friend, this is outstanding! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Aszard, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton [This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (02-21-2002 08:54 AM).] |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Thank you, Silver Streak, It’s a fairly simple form as I redid it, Even simpler if you account for the fact they didn’t rhyme, But the hardest part of the form I left out, Since it didn’t apply to English, the tonal quality. Thank you, Cpat Hair, Simple can be very pleasing, it’s the complexity of the thoughts the Poem brings, that truly make these type of poems, similar to the Haiku. Thank you, Mistletoe Angel, I’m sure any form you attempt will display your kind and sweetness. Gloom |
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Silver Streak Member Elite
since 2002-01-02
Posts 3625FL, USA |
Now, you've given me something to think about, Gloom. The tonal quality. Hmmmmm! An exercise in assonance, perhaps? How would you invent some tonal effects? A cool breeze through trees Slows the bees and fleas Geez, let the wind freeze My peas, not my knees. Or something? LOL... Thanks for your inspiration. ((Gloom)) Newell Sharing God's Love through perfectlovepoetry.com |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
I like this from you better than despair lovely reading, this please write more for us Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Silver Streak, The tonal qualities they use are Even, entering, ascending, descending Which actually change the meaning of the word, It might do to think of it as a stress, i.e. Iambic. I left out tone since I haven’t figured out how to adapt, Which might do the form an injustice. Thank you, Interloper, I am glad you liked this, Sorry that my poetry as a whole isn’t acceptable in mood to you, But I don’t particularly write for anyone but myself. You might have noticed that lack of responses do not deter me From continuing to write. Gloom |
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Zinsser Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641Calif. |
This is very interesting to me... I have just receintly looked into this type of poetry too... I am the first one to admit I know nothing about form or writing at all LOL I just enjoy it... Just happened upon this subjest a few days ago.... Connie |
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Silver Streak Member Elite
since 2002-01-02
Posts 3625FL, USA |
Gloom, Silver Streak, The tonal qualities they use are Even, entering, ascending, descending Which actually change the meaning of the word, It might do to think of it as a stress, i.e. Iambic. I left out tone since I haven’t figured out how to adapt, Which might do the form an injustice. Thanks, Gloom! So, Entry/ ascending/ descending Like, I/ believe/ that all men/ humans/ me Are/ chosen/ for purposes/ like Love/ free Have/ you found/ your calling/ as God /sees? Is this kind of what you're thinking of? ((Gloom)) -newell Sharing God's Love through perfectlovepoetry.com |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Silver Streak, I am not sure I can explain this via printed media, Use the word pitch instead of tone, Each sound ( thought to us as a syllable ) has three parts ABC or abc where it is all the same pitch and thus level tone/pitch aBC or Abc where the first part of the sound is of a lower or higher pitch (also might be a softer or glossed over) and is an entering tone/ pitch Abc would there by be descending aBC would be the ascending I can think of no better way to explain it other than to go talk to a few Chinese people I am not a linguist, and only explain as best as I understand which may or may not Be the proper way to explain. This is one of the reasons why I removed the verbal part of the form when employing it. Thank you, Zinsser, I am pleased you liked my poetry based loosely on this style, I have long been interested in Chinese Poetry, and my web site has a section of translations from the T’ang period. The area is in need of work, and thus my renewed interest. Gloom |
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Silver Streak Member Elite
since 2002-01-02
Posts 3625FL, USA |
Thank you, Gloom. I will seek out some help from a Chinese friend. You have been most inspiring. I am always looking for new ideas to help me create a purer poetic message. ((Gloom)) -newell Sharing God's Love through perfectlovepoetry.com Copyright: 2002 Newell Elsworth Usher [This message has been edited by Silver Streak (02-21-2002 02:45 PM).] |
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