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Dee
Member Elite

since 2000-08-19

Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia

0 posted 2002-02-18 05:05 AM

If and When.

Kiss me now
    and say goodbye,
    then go and don't look back.
Tell me how
    to cope, not cry
    now that, your love, I lack.
Love unmatched
    will never grow,
    sits heavy on the heart.
Souls that touched
    so long ago
    and now are doomed to part.
If and when
    have come and gone
    and gone is here to taunt.
Time again
    to remove the thorn
    from within this heart you haunt.

Another inspired by Mark's beautiful words.

I wish you every happiness and may you always have the best of the good things in life. a brand

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

1 posted 2002-02-18 07:06 AM

Dee,
I remember this challenge. You did it proud.
Write on
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown

strbbux
Member Elite

since 2001-12-19

Posts 3859

2 posted 2002-02-18 09:39 AM

This is beautiful Dee, I love your style. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

3 posted 2002-02-18 11:46 AM

Dee, this is very touching....deep with emotions

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

4 posted 2002-02-18 11:52 AM

And the inspiration shows within this...
Nice

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

5 posted 2002-02-18 02:11 PM

Kiss me now
    and say goodbye,
    then go and don't look back.
Tell me how
    to cope, not cry
    now that, your love, I lack.
======================================

If and when
    have come and gone
    and gone is here to taunt.
Time again
    to remove the thorn
    from within this heart you haunt.
=========================================

Dee, this is a cadence kissed bittersweet beauty...
!! I love the turn of phrase and word play you used to express the emotions.
Your poetry grows with every post...and I for one am enjoying watching you find your inspire in anothers words and then making them your own.
Very well done girlie

"Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men."

MLK

Dee
Member Elite

since 2000-08-19

Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia

6 posted 2002-02-18 03:39 PM

Kethry, thanks. It isn't hard to be inspired by Mark though.

Floria, thank you. This style is different and I enjoyed using it.

Sue, always like to see your name after my poems. Thanks my friend.

Magnus, Mark does inspire so easily. One of the poets I would love to write like.

JM, glad to hear I am growing as a poet. There are so many here to inspire it would be lax of me not to read and grow.

Cowboy, thank you. Your words have done a lot for my muse lately.

Dee

I wish you every happiness and may you always have the best of the good things in life. a brand

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

7 posted 2002-02-18 04:42 PM

Do I know these feelings or what!!

There is a bittersweetness in your words.
Beautiful poem Dee~

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

8 posted 2002-02-18 05:10 PM

The story of some peoples lives...James

Victoria

Member Ascendant

since 2000-08-12

Posts 5869

9 posted 2002-02-18 05:12 PM

love the rhythm of this..enjoyed Dee..

~Vic

"Silence is a friend who
will never betray."
— Confucius

JBaker515

Member

since 2001-02-28

Posts 458
Dartmouth College

10 posted 2002-02-18 05:16 PM

same here, very mcuhed enjoyed DEE~

Suetang
Member Ascendant

since 2001-03-07

Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia

11 posted 2002-02-18 05:34 PM

Hello Dee

So nice to see your here again. Your words were so very heartfelt and you relayed them beautifully.

Take care......Sue

Suetang

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

12 posted 2002-02-18 07:16 PM

YAY!!! Ooohhhh....this is soooooo beautifully bittersweet, sweet friend, your gorgeous words always portray emotions so beautifully! (kiss on cheek) We all love you so much, sweet friend, you are a delight to us all! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Dee, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

13 posted 2002-02-18 07:18 PM

Dee - touching indeed, great write...

BC

brianbeaudry
Member

since 2001-07-20

Posts 410
Northern Ontario Canada

14 posted 2002-02-18 07:22 PM

I too love your style...the rythm and flow...exceptional...powerful and emotional poem !!!

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

15 posted 2002-02-18 08:01 PM

Hm, I did not hear the challenge, but this poem stands alone. Very emotional, it grabbed my heart.
Sandra

Parker
Member Elite

since 2000-01-06

Posts 3129
ON

16 posted 2002-02-19 01:03 AM

Your muse seems close to your heart lately. A very wonderful write. Much enjoyed.

Park

butterflykiss989
Member

since 2002-02-19

Posts 52

17 posted 2002-02-19 01:16 AM

This was a poem that touched my heart very deeply... I find your words inspiring and heartfelt... thank u for sharing it with me

Dee
Member Elite

since 2000-08-19

Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia

18 posted 2002-02-19 03:00 AM

Blues Serenade, sad that we have to feel this way sometimes.

James, a story we would rather not live, I guess.

Victoria, I too loved the rhythm. It was there in Mark's words first, I just followed along.

JBaker, glad you enjoyed this. I enjoyed writing it. Exercised my muse a little.

Sue, it's nice to be here again. Glad you liked this.

Noah, now what can I say to you? Your sweetness always overwhelms me. Thank you for the wonderful replies you always give me.

Bill, thank you so much, sir.

Brian, I am glad I have done Mark’s words justice.

Sandra, this challenge was from a long time ago. I was looking for something to bring my errant muse into line.

Park,

My muse has finally come home again and I am very pleased with the results she is giving me.

Butterflykiss, I am happy that my words have touched you so. It is my pleasure to share them with you.

Thank you all for the amazing response to this poem. I am dumbfounded by you all.
Dee x

I wish you every happiness and may you always have the best of the good things in life. a brand

EagleOne
Member Elite

since 2000-03-07

Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...

19 posted 2002-02-19 06:18 AM

This is a great write Dee, excellent!

We are all just prisoners here of our own device ~ Hotel California, The Eagles

Dee
Member Elite

since 2000-08-19

Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia

20 posted 2002-02-19 06:36 AM

Eddie, thank you my friend. Glad you liked.

Dee

I wish you every happiness and may you always have the best of the good things in life. a brand

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

21 posted 2002-02-20 10:23 AM

enjoy

Dee
Member Elite

since 2000-08-19

Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia

22 posted 2002-02-20 06:54 PM

vandana, thanks.

I wish you every happiness and may you always have the best of the good things in life. a brand

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-21

Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song

23 posted 2002-04-04 10:38 PM

Let's see ... I do believe I owe you about (ummmmmmmmmmmmm ... 10000 replies and many more thanks ) and this one seems like the best place to start. The one thing that can make a poet feel special is knowing that just one person actually relates to their work and can pull something from it. To have you pull one of my old challenges and add the beauty of your words to it brings a smile to my heart that could never be expressed without having the beats, so may I just say ... Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful!!!!!!!! Your pen and your muse both have teamed up to bring us all a wonderful work to be cherished and remember. I know some would say I am biased, but I do believe you know me well enough through the blue pages to know that I only say it if it is genuine or else I just skip over it. I applaud you and I do so look forward to being back full time VERY soon to indulge more. One last thought ... just in case anyone hasn't told you yet; You have grown to a new level in your poetic works in cadence, structure, and expression and it was truely a pleasure to read.

Dee
Member Elite

since 2000-08-19

Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia

24 posted 2002-04-05 04:53 AM

Mark, you owe me no replies or thanks. Reading your poetry is reward in itself.
Thank you for believing in me and knowing I have grown in my poetry. It makes all the reading I have done lately worthwhile.

I for one can't wait for you to come back full time.

Dee

I wish you every happiness and may you always have the best of the good things in life. a brand

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

25 posted 2002-04-05 04:58 AM

very good! nice structure and rhyme, and message

Dee
Member Elite

since 2000-08-19

Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia

26 posted 2002-04-05 05:14 AM

passing shadows, thank you. Glad you stopped by for a read.

Dee

I wish you every happiness and may you always have the best of the good things in life. a brand

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