My shirt likes to stay tucked

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Streen
Member

since 2001-11-28

Posts 169

0 posted 2002-02-17 06:36 PM

My shirt likes to stay tucked far into my pants.
I prefer my Oxford buttons buttoned up to
the collar, and my zipper zipped up to my leather belt.
And its tongue is pushed through
and through till the metal prong pushes
through the ninth little slot (as far as it goes), buckling
me up tight. (or with sweat pants, my strings kept firm)
And my coat jacket knows it's supposed to be
strapped as firm around me as can be,
just as my book bag's straps are jacketed up
so they fit quite tight harnessed surrounding me.
I keep my doors locked, even sitting in a car
even while driving through modest villages,
from here to afar.
The loops of my shoes are always kept tight,
a perfect bow right on top,as my neckties are kept tied,
as myself is, too.
Myself I like to keep tucked from all the world
like my shirt in my trousers I like to keep hidden,
my coat's straps keeping me warm to myself.
There is one, however, that I've allowed
to start unbottoning my shirt button by button;
after she unstrapped my coat and shared in my warmth,
adding a little bit of her own.
Right now she's a little bit below my navel;
one day she might even untuck my tails.

[This message has been edited by Streen (02-18-2002 12:22 PM).]

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2002-02-17 07:35 PM

Sounds like a man who has it all together...until it's time to come undone...

enjoyed this!

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

2 posted 2002-02-17 10:18 PM

BRAVO!!! Such wonderful voice and cadence fills your words, sweet friend, this is fabulous! We all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Streen, thank you for sharing!

Love,
Noah Eaton

[This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (02-17-2002 10:52 PM).]

JBaker515

Member

since 2001-02-28

Posts 458
Dartmouth College

3 posted 2002-02-17 10:20 PM

i enjoyed it.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

4 posted 2002-02-17 11:59 PM

Streen sucha a neatly buttoned and wrapped up poem! And when that shirt gets untucked, will those shoelaces loosen up too? An enjoyable, unique read.

doreen peri
Member Elite

since 1999-05-25

Posts 3812
Virginia

5 posted 2002-02-18 01:01 AM

and i am like an untied sash
opened like a robe,
my heart unfolded
on the green
of lawn
in between
jupiter and birth,
trying to find my feet
to walk upon the earth,
still orbiting the worth
of miracles.

............

whoops!! you inspired me!!

you are a very talented writer and i tuck this verse of yours into my library for future reading..... your use of metaphor and imagery is superb and your phrasing is excellent... thank you for allowing me to let you inspire me here.

strbbux
Member Elite

since 2001-12-19

Posts 3859

6 posted 2002-02-18 09:42 AM

This is so enjoyable to read Streen, loved it. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

Bella
New Member

since 2002-02-15

Posts 6
Ohio

7 posted 2002-02-18 12:16 PM

This poem grabbed my attention right away...I like the way you so creatively described the process of "letting someone in". I enjoyed very much.

above everything else, love one another...
life is as fleeting as the wind

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

8 posted 2002-02-18 12:40 PM

This is very well done!
*I don't know what came over me but all I could hear in my head was that song...'You can leave your hat on'* LOL...have no idea why! Great write here.
~Hugs, Nancy~

~Love, like magic, depends on believing.~

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

9 posted 2002-02-18 01:07 PM

Incredible use of metaphor here, very effective. I, too am reminded of a song, 'Sharp Dressed Man', ZZ Top. Really enjoyed this, Streen.

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

10 posted 2002-02-18 01:10 PM

Loved the dapper dress code you set for yourself. The twist at the end
leaves a lot to the imagination.

Nicely done~

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

11 posted 2002-02-18 07:11 PM

*bump*

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