"Horoscope: There's no polite way to say this, Karen, passion is very much on your mind today! This frame of mind will likely be quite frustrating for you if there is not a significant someone currently in your life. Why not set out to change that? Ask your friends to hook you up with their friends. Or, if you're willing to spend the money, join a matchmaking service."
Sheesh. Why not just paint "horny" on my forehead?
Could it get any worse?
Nod. Sure it could.
I could be writing these things:
"Gee, Karen, that little itch should be telling you something! Why not just lock the doors today after you stock up on batteries? Or better yet, go ahead--live a little--free the gimp from under the stairs and have yourself a regular party!"
Sheesh. I think I'm gonna go read now.
(serenity exits, drolly thanking her lucky stars...)