Gosh Elizabeth, that's hilarious!
Well, here's one of mine. My uncle is a preacher, and we were all gathered at my grandma's house for Christmas one year. This is the "smaller" side of the family (only about 30 people there), so we were all able to concentrate on this conversation. For some reason, they were discussing baby-sitting, and my grandmother decided to share a story. She was 14 years old, and had to baby-sit a set of twins. She said that when it was their naptime, she would fix the babies' bottles and lay them down, but then she's also fix herself a bottle and chill with them. Now, I never figured out why she thought we would keep out mouths shut (or why she enjoyed drinking out of a bottle at the age of 14, for that matter), but she did. Anyway, at church later that day, my uncle said he wanted to share something with the congregation...
Yep, you guessed it!
My grandmother turned blood red, turned to my aunt and asked, "Why on earth did I let you marry this man"?
Even months later, when I went over to interview her for a paper I had to write, she told me "Now, don't you dare tell anyone about that baby bottle story"..
"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli