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The Ghost And The Flower

Brian James
Member

since 2005-06-26

Posts 147
Winnipeg

0 posted 2010-04-19 05:08 PM

The Ghost And The Flower

A ghost found a beautiful flower
And stole her away in the dawn
To a place where the water was hard to drink
And the sunshine seldom shone

And he watered her with kisses
But his water was stagnant and old,
And he warmed her with soft caresses,
But his hands were sunless and cold.

Now his eyes are a basement window
And his mouth is a murky jar
And she'll never again a flower be,
Living in the eye of a star.

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

1 posted 2010-04-29 12:18 PM

No 'whipping into shape' for this poem Brian. It's a keeper! The words evoke images in my mind and the meter just flows.....

Great job!

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

2 posted 2010-04-29 02:10 PM

Two Sharons in a row thinking the same thing.
Loved it! Great to read you again as well Brian.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

3 posted 2010-04-29 05:40 PM

Hi Brian....so few words to make such an impact. Impressed!

Bluesy Socrateaser
Member Elite

since 2002-11-07

Posts 2417
In The Mirror

4 posted 2017-10-29 08:38 PM

quote:
"And he warmed her with soft caresses,
But his hands were sunless and cold"

Your fine poetry slipped past me, Brian...so eleven years later, I would address what I see as a conflict, that is, "he warmed her with soft caresses"...and he did this with 'cold hands'. The meter would still be tight if it read;
"And he wished her warm with caresses
But his hands were sunless and cold"

My thoughts only, Brian.

...just bein' Bluesy

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