How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Sanctuary
 Poetic Haven
 The Ghost And The Flower
 1 2 3 4
Follow us on Facebook

 Moderated by: Poet deVine, Martie   (Admins )

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

The Ghost And The Flower

 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Brian James
Member
since 06-26-2005
Posts 147
Winnipeg


0 posted 04-19-2010 05:08 PM       View Profile for Brian James   Email Brian James   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Brian James

The Ghost And The Flower

A ghost found a beautiful flower
And stole her away in the dawn
To a place where the water was hard to drink
And the sunshine seldom shone

And he watered her with kisses
But his water was stagnant and old,
And he warmed her with soft caresses,
But his hands were sunless and cold.

Now his eyes are a basement window
And his mouth is a murky jar
And she'll never again a flower be,
Living in the eye of a star.
© Copyright 2010 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25881
Hurricane Alley


1 posted 04-29-2010 12:18 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

No 'whipping into shape' for this poem Brian. It's a keeper! The words evoke images in my mind and the meter just flows.....

Great job!


Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 03-07-2001
Posts 19686
British Columbia, Canada


2 posted 04-29-2010 02:10 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Two Sharons in a row thinking the same thing.
Loved it!  Great to read you again as well Brian.
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28679
California


3 posted 04-29-2010 05:40 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Hi Brian....so few words to make such an impact.  Impressed!
Bluesy Socrateaser
Senior Member
since 11-07-2002
Posts 909
In The Mirror


4 posted 10-29-2017 08:38 PM       View Profile for Bluesy Socrateaser   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Bluesy Socrateaser

quote:
"And he warmed her with soft caresses,
But his hands were sunless and cold"
Your fine poetry slipped past me, Brian...so eleven years later, I would address what I see as a conflict, that is, "he warmed her with soft caresses"...and he did this with 'cold hands'. The meter would still be tight if it read;
"And he wished her warm with caresses
But his hands were sunless and cold"

My thoughts only, Brian.

...just bein' Bluesy

Brian James will be notified of replies
 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Sanctuary >> Poetic Haven >> The Ghost And The Flower Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2014
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors