I really love what you did with this, bro. Being privy to the source of your inspiration, I think the fact that you took your time with it and crafted such a body around the source is a credit to you. (I'd have done boring, dreamscape navel-gazing thing, m'self.)
You know how I love an impact ending, and although your ending alone, does not qualify for the 'punch in the gut'--in context it does.
Sometimes a matter of fact tone can do that--and yes, you are quite adept at that particular sensibility. *laughing*
Very well done indeed!