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Passions in Poetry

The Ways

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Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-09-1999
Posts 2307
In an upside-down garden


0 posted 11-19-2006 04:01 PM       View Profile for Allysa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Allysa

Some of you used to be pretty
way back in the day
and her fingers used to graze the skin
before you took them
and flung them

and wrapped the bones too tight
for them to feel
like they could touch your world
or plaster the hair
from your face
to her head

We'll be gone to be beautiful
we'll be gone to be dead
I'll be holding your hand
you'll be holding

my heart in your fingers and
you will smoke your cigarettes
trying hard not to forget

that I am the one
you came for.

See,
I am reading all his poetry
those words you never spoke
to me, it didn't matter anyway
I hate to hear this guitar
play the songs that you wrote

for her
on the back of napkins
paper things, the photographs,
the history of human beings and

milkshakes, left to run
dry on the table, when you left
my side to hold the door
for someone else

they'll be gone to be perfect
they'll be gone off to bed
he will be holding her heart
she will be holding

her head in her hands
and the voice from the victrola
tattooed on her skin screams

"I never know just where to begin."

[This message has been edited by Allysa (11-20-2006 10:25 AM).]

© Copyright 2006 Allysa - All Rights Reserved
Alicat
Member Elite
since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


1 posted 11-19-2006 04:17 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

A little bit oblique (and need to add the missing 'd' to 'holing'), though I do catch the basic gist of remorse and auto maso-sado wielding the cat o'nine speaking with lashes 'what have you done, what have you missed, what have you left of the one who loved sans strings?'.

Would be interesting to know the backstory to this one, or if it was merely a fractured momentary image passing behind your eyes.  And give Serenity-Sis a hug for me when next you see her.
Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-09-1999
Posts 2307
In an upside-down garden


2 posted 11-20-2006 10:29 AM       View Profile for Allysa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allysa

Alicat: your reply made me want to try to.. clear it up a little bit, and figure out what I was thinking or feeling when I wrote it. Instead of figuring it out, I wrote more. I think that initially, I was feeling overwhelmed, and a little spastic, which may explain why it seems to jump around a lot.

I think that I am going to try to analyze this line by line, to see what I come up with.

Thanks for your comment.
<3
Alicat
Member Elite
since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


3 posted 11-20-2006 01:57 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

Nice addition which does add weight and fluidity to the work.  And if ever you get confused about any of my remarks, run em by Serenity.  She's ma sis and knows me well.
 
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