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Passions in Poetry

III.

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Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-09-1999
Posts 2307
In an upside-down garden


0 posted 03-01-2006 03:15 PM       View Profile for Allysa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Allysa

The woman that I met at the zoo
With her baby in a white dress and
A ribbon in her hair, she’s
In the hospital now, she told me
That I was beautiful, her nephew was
Truly lucky to have someone
As pretty as me, and I wonder sometimes
Why people see what I don’t and, you know,

Something about her, it stuck with me
Like the lipstick on her teeth
And the rocks inside my shoes as we
Walked circles around the empty aquarium
Where the sea lions used to be, before,
Before the clouds rolled into town,
Before they were shipped to Texas,
To somewhere where they could live

And she was there, and she saw it all
And I can’t possibly know what’s been
Making her crazy, no one knows why
People simply change their minds about
Life, living, laughter, love, lots of
Simple things that you cannot see
Through the broken homes and trees
And all the thought of how it used to be

When her daughter was a baby, just a few
Months ago, and the city filled with water
And the houses, they were marked with
Spray-paint characteristics that, to this day,
Indicate a world that we saw, safely sitting
In front of our televisions, watching as the
Waves rolled in and thinking that survival
Is an instinct, you either have it or you

Lost is sometime, and she’s losing it again
And no one knows why, but I can guess,
I can try to assume that she’s tired of being
The person she has been, and she’s tired of
Seeing the same broken reflection, the same
Broken person, the same broken city, shards
Of beauty, salt in you eyes and the wind in
The curls of your hair, telling you it’s over.
© Copyright 2006 Allysa - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


1 posted 03-01-2006 09:47 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine


Allysa,

what heart!

What lines.



Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


2 posted 03-01-2006 10:39 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

wow.

i may have to go back and read some more of your recent stuff, Alyssa.

you have made some incredible strides in your writing since some of your early stuff i remember reading (not saying it was bad, just saying this is way better!)

i love the flow, the grit, the real of this. it is raw and emotional and comforting all at the same time... kind of showing that no matter what's wrecking us, there may be someone who cares a bit.

love it, keep going!

Chris
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


3 posted 03-01-2006 10:48 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Again, I commend you, for writing pain that I can't seem to even come close to expressing without resorting to the bitchy tirade, and telling others "you just don't know"...adding distance when I really need just a hug.

This?

nod

It's HARD. And my words have failed me, but if I can, I offer you the hug, as you say it so much better than I can.

All I do is cry now yanno.

Thank you, for being my voice during some very, very confusing and difficult times.



(I feel relief when I read you, because I think, "someone understands."
Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-09-1999
Posts 2307
In an upside-down garden


4 posted 03-03-2006 05:07 PM       View Profile for Allysa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allysa

Thanks, everyone, for your comments.

Serenity.. I remember barely watching the news through it all, because I knew I couldn't understand it if I just saw it on the television. I couldn't imagine what it was like, simply seeing it and being so far away from it, and I really didn't understand it at all until I saw it for myself. Does that make sense? The entire time we were traveling to New Orleans, my boyfriend and his brother were telling me about how the city was going to be so different, they had both seen it before the hurricane and they couldn't imagine what it would be like. Me, I saw it for the first time and I thought it was beautiful. The first day we got there, we walked around the quarter and I just thought it was beautiful. And the people, they were so nice, and everything was just.. mesmerizing. I can't get it out of my head. Everytime I stop thinking about school, or work, I start thinking about New Orleans. Like, I was never a part of the city before, I don't have the memories of shopping for Mardi Gras dresses, or making gumbo, or getting married somewhere on Toulouse (I think that's the street - my boyfriend's parents were married there), and I was only there for a few days, but for those few days it felt like home more than any other place has. I don't know if this makes any sense, but I wanted to tell you this. I've never felt a part of a place more than I did when I was there.

And I want to give you a hug.
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 10-29-2000
Posts 19275
Between the Lines


5 posted 03-04-2006 09:09 AM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts

"I can try to assume that she’s tired of being
The person she has been, and she’s tired of
Seeing the same broken reflection,"


I am  stuck on you right now...because I can feel your words and greatly appreciate your insight.

Wonderful writing...

M
iliana
Member Patricius
since 12-05-2003
Posts 13488
USA


6 posted 03-06-2006 01:11 AM       View Profile for iliana   Email iliana   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for iliana

Alyssa.....this was so very heartfelt!  It has left me speechless.   ....jo
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


7 posted 03-06-2006 02:19 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

sweetie?

thank you

and Toulouse St. is pronounced as:

"Too Loose"

stern look

with winks

danke' and yanno of course,

"we're all gonna die"

but ask us if we give a shtreet...

we are, of course, "too loose".





Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


8 posted 03-06-2006 05:32 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Very touching Allysa....I love the way you look from your heart.  
Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
since 01-23-2003
Posts 7179
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass


9 posted 10-04-2006 12:58 AM       View Profile for Ratleader   Email Ratleader   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ratleader's Home Page   View IP for Ratleader

Down, down, down, to one person....so we can't retreat into generalities as we read, we must feel it one-on-one. That's excellent technique in action, with excellent results.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

 
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