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Passions in Poetry

Less Than Friends

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Alicat
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since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


0 posted 12-12-2005 08:06 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Alicat

Something is just not right,
like it was the other night
before we had a knockdown fight.

Seems like I was wrong
and it didn't take too very long
for you to sing again that song:

'Looks like there ain't a thing
I've done right or anything
and why your finger got no ring.'

How'd we get to this place
where we don't speak face to face
without angry words we can't erase?

Seems I heard about another place.
Heard about another man's face
and how he made your heart race.

Here I thought I'd never see
you with him and me with me;
an evil game to rouse my jealousy.

There's some games I won't play;
have yourself a pleasant day.
Don't get up, I'll find my own way.

I know in time you'll tire of him,
thinking that we can begin again,
but this time let's be less than friends.

Alicat
12-12-05
© Copyright 2005 Alastair Adamson - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


1 posted 12-12-2005 10:14 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

less than friends?

or more...

passion is funny that way...

and whoa--I was so not expecting this.

But then, yer funny that way.

You found y'groove tho. That you did.
Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


2 posted 12-13-2005 08:22 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine




It's all I have
to give at the
moment...this
hit so close.



well, I've got a
few of those left...



.

Cloud 9
Senior Member
since 11-05-2004
Posts 988
Ca


3 posted 12-13-2005 11:13 AM       View Profile for Cloud 9   Email Cloud 9   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cloud 9

"There's some games I won't play;
have yourself a pleasant day.
Don't get up, I'll find my own way.

I know in time you'll tire of him,
thinking that we can begin again,
but this time let's be less than friends."

I love this part the most, but all of it was awesome. I'm feeling this..
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 12-27-2002
Posts 8464
Florida


4 posted 12-13-2005 01:06 PM       View Profile for Susan Caldwell   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Susan Caldwell

Loved it.

Completely.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Midnitesun
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since 05-18-2001
Posts 29020
Gaia


5 posted 12-13-2005 04:24 PM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

"Don't get up, I'll find my own way."
almost verbatim, a ghost comment from the past that slipped from these lips as I made my way to the nearest exit
~sigh~ life is rougher some days than others
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


6 posted 12-13-2005 11:53 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

I can hear "Hat's off to Larry" playing in the background. You wear your feelings well, 'cat
Alicat
Member Elite
since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


7 posted 12-14-2005 11:47 AM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

Thanky for all the responses.  I was surprised by this one, since I was actually able to take a picture and thought in my head and write it down before it completely vanished.  Which is the norm lately.  Gotta love the 'poof' factor.

More to the point, this ain't cathartic.  I don't hold too well with that theme. *chuckle*  The inspiration was hearing that insipid song, 'Why Can't We Be Friends', played ad nauseum in little bite sized chunks on VH1's Celebrity Feuds.  So of course I tweaked the general theme to 'Less Than Friends'.
LoveBug
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since 01-08-2000
Posts 5015


8 posted 12-14-2005 05:22 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

"Here I thought I'd never see
you with him and me with me;
an evil game to rouse my jealousy."

Awesome times. Ali brings me back to comment here! I wonder if they thought I was dead

An awesome piece.. I love the rhythmic undertone it has, it really brings a lot to the overall feeling of the piece. Awesome!

Music pours over the sense
And in a funny way
Music sees more than I..it remembers better...
I have forgotten all the rest-Anne Sexton

Nightshade
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Member Laureate
since 08-31-2001
Posts 14673
just out of reach


9 posted 12-19-2005 09:55 PM       View Profile for Nightshade   Email Nightshade   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nightshade's Home Page   View IP for Nightshade

Much enjoyed this Alicat.
hugs, Chris
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York


10 posted 12-20-2005 05:56 PM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing

God, this reminded me of Dylan, Ali.
(his attitude)

*grin*
majnu
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since 10-13-2002
Posts 1228
SF Bay Area


11 posted 12-27-2005 05:55 PM       View Profile for majnu   Email majnu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for majnu

nice very nice.

oh and does the fact that I am 23 and know the song "Hats off to Larry" make me wierd?

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

Midnitesun
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since 05-18-2001
Posts 29020
Gaia


12 posted 12-27-2005 06:04 PM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

lol
hats off to larry
hmmm
i know that song
but it sure doesn't go with the larry i care about

just had to come back to this one today
for another laugh at how music makes the world go 'round and dips the writer's quill into the inkwell
Alicat
Member Elite
since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


13 posted 12-27-2005 07:04 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

Yanno, I'm just gonna have to see if I can request that song sometime, so I can actually listen to it. *chuckle*  As far as I can tell, and granted my memory ain't nearly what it was halfway through these 35 years, I've never heard that one.  So I guess I oughta, so I can understand the references to 'Hats off to Larry'.
Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
since 01-23-2003
Posts 7179
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass


14 posted 09-30-2006 12:20 AM       View Profile for Ratleader   Email Ratleader   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ratleader's Home Page   View IP for Ratleader

That's risky, using such a light, almost whimsical style with something so deadly serious...all kinds of chances to fail. But this time the contrast really brings it out! Writing this took a much more deft touch than the casual reader might think.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

 
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