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Snow White
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Snow White |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg 
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The distance in her features Draws the swarming creatures To find her in the nude: The guilty core that lingers Prisoned in her fingers Is variously chewed, And through the shoots of grass The mazy adders pass. |
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| © Copyright 2005 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
this is yet another, I shall take line by lines, the metaphor(s) and connections left me grinning mad tho. I like. very much.  |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I tell you those kids are going to have one heck of a teacher one day  You sure made me smile at you over this one!~* C'est la vie *~ |
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timothysangel1973
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725Never close enough |
I keep telling him he is a genious He's such a smart young man, and what a refreshing thing to see these days. All most young people care about is video games and learning new cuss words lol I am so glad to have known Brian, he "learns" me something new each time I talk with him !! Wonderful write Brian, glad I came in here tonight Tima |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I'll be the first to admit that I have difficulties seeing what other people see so readily in poems of this kind but let me guess.. The guilty core that lingers Prisoned in her fingers Is variously chewed, Does that mean she chews her fingernails out of a guilty conscience? and why the word "variously"? The mazy adders pass. Is this some play on words I don't know? The definition of mazy doesn't shed any light on this for me. I know I can ask you these questions because you are one to take them as curiosity and not be offended.....so please lead ole Balladeer down the path of enlightenment, if you please |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Balladeer: By the "core," I meant of the apple she'd bitten. I was going to title it Eve, but I preferred to emphasize the modern-ness of the situation, so I opted for Snow White. She's fallen and holding an apple, at which I imagine the "swarming creatures" have been gnawing. I am here trying to indicate the length of her having been fallen. I admit I took "mazy" from Coleridge's "Kubla Khan" (Five miles meandering with a mazy motion / through woods and dales the sacred river ran). Here I mean to say they move deceptively, to try and "trap" people, but also that they move in "mazy" patterns, never truly going anywhere. That they just "pass" is just my way of saying they basically abandon her. I hope that's a bit more clear. I'm not terribly interested in getting this poem to its 100%, though I thought maybe Serenity would like it, as I had her in mind when I wrote it (and I can imagine her nodding at everything I've said here). |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Not only nodding but hugging you. I kinda had a feeling 'bout this one Brian and yet again you write my pain better than I am capable of doing. thank you for saying elegantly what I can't, and I think it's perfect as it is. Btw? mazy adders? I took as symbolic of a corn snake, and thus, the paranoia of perceived threat, which is common enough for me anyhow even without the post traumatic stress thing. Your gift for writing is apparent, but your psychic gift is slightly more subtle. Love you my friend. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Ok, LP...I appreciate your taking the time to explain. I confess there is no way in the world I would have understood it but that's my situation, not yours. Actually I took it as a prostitute or "fallen" woman of some kind with the core being the core of her being (oh, I like that!), the swarming creatures her many lovers and the Snow White being a bit of sarcasm or else representing the innocence she began life with compared to how she has ended up. Possibly if you had named it eve, I may have connected the core and the snake and got your message out of it....I just need a lot of hints! Thanks again....as I said in my last poem, I don't think I have the whatever it takes to ever get it....but I can still appreciate. Peace  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Well, I'm a tad late, maybe, just mazy... but it's been a few days since I've been in the comfort of sanctuary... and look what I find... something that made me read it thrice, before going on to the responses. I knew...I did... and glad I was of being right [for once!] |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
"Well, I'm a tad late, maybe, just mazy..." Not as late as I am! But, better late and ever.... The sheer creativity of this little poem is quite perfection enough, to make it worthwhile. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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