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The Ballad of Donny Lane
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The Ballad of Donny Lane |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg 
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Of all whom Venus has forask’n, Whom Cupid’s line has slain, Was never one by love so tak’n As mighty Donny Lane: A glutton of unseemly girth (And quite an ugly fellow) Whose skin is, ever since his birth, A pale, unhealthy yellow, His hair recedes and loses back From top down to his ears: His aged cheeks so hang with slack You’d scarce believe his years. And though his fate were fasten’d tight For being so outcast, He was with love's ambition dight In the not distant past. Sure as the seasons see their change New loves would Donny find: As one was gone, his interests ranged Towards another kind. He’d proudly boast, “true love’s found me!” (Though it has never, really) And wasn’t taken seriously: His colleagues thought him silly. And when they saw the glow renew’d They’d roll and groan, “Oh, brother!” And, seeing Donny darkly brood, They’d laugh, “He’s lost another!” For every hopeful shine he waxed, A deathly pale he’d wane; Sad cycle! So ambition taxed The heart of Donny Lane. For, though it was a common thing, I lately saw him grinning, His brown eyes bright and caroling With notes alive and spinning: He sat him at his office seat Arranging into rows Photographs of a lady meet (Her name, yet, no-one knows). For every photograph he placed His eyes would briefly linger, And, supping upon her radiant grace, Stroke her with his fat finger. “Why, Donny,” said I, skeptical, “Who is that lovely miss?” “She is,” he answered, beaming full, “The well of earthly bliss. “I met her over drinks, last night, And love her oh-so-much! It was love not just at-first-sight But sound, and scent, and touch! “I love her more than words can say, And dearly she loves me; And we shall fix our love today, Beneath the apple tree. “Her eyes are bright as emeralds, And hark, how sweet her breasts! And how her golden hair, in folds, Over her shoulders rests. “And she will make my arms her home; I’ll all her burdens carry. And then we’ll satisfy our love, And then we’ll likely marry. “So little time!” he sighed, “to find So great a love o’ertake me! She is so beautiful and kind, A happy man, she’ll make me!” He, chanting dreams, drew at him eyes That whispered “fabrication,” Thinking his song a strain of lies From his imagination. Despite such doubts, he’d let them laugh, Nor give them his compliance, But smiled and kissed his photographs Eagerly, in defiance. The mirth upon his oily cheeks Shined through the afternoon: Then fled he, like a bird who seeks To fly towards the moon. Some voices followed: “Donny, run! Run, to the apple tree! Your love lays nude beneath the sun!” And faithfully ran he. The morning next, our cruel joy Its winning pose did see: “What of your love, old Donny boy? What of the apple tree? “What of the woman whom you love, Whose burdens you will carry? The wedding ring you’d spoken of? Did she decline to marry?” So chided they poor Donny Lane But missed him like a ghost, For no more would he entertain Their cruel remarks with boasts, And no more would his heavy step By avidness be leaven’d, Nor would he make his office seat A palace throne in heaven, And no more will her pictures stand Blithely arranged in rows: He smote them with his mighty hand; They fell like dominos. |
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| © Copyright 2005 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
A ballad, yes. Beginning, climax, and denouement, the unraveling of the protagonist's yen for fulfillment. Very good descriptions, both physically, emotionally, and psychologically, as the reader is both drawn to and repusled by Donny at one and the same time, hoping he succeeds yet desiring derisive ruin. First read was easy, second read brought more complexity, and third read purely for pleasure.  |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
ooooh.... I looooove long ones.... I'll be back when me mothy eyes are still focusing and I can inhale this one properly.  one drop, an ocean ... one seed, the forest ... one leaf, the wind ... |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Sigh LP, you're truly a joy to read.. thank you. Durn I wish I could write like this... Magnificent. Maree when we meet Which I'm sure we will |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Just the word ballad is enough to draw me in....and glad that I was. not only is it an excellent piece of writing, it is also done in the ballad style of old, complete with the colloquialisms and flavor of a time long since past. kudos to you, sir...  |
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Marshalzu 
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Wonderful, simply wonderful. I love reading your writing it is such a pleasant and rewarding experience. Thank you for sharing it |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Of all whom Venus has forask’n, Whom Cupid’s line has slain, Was never one by love so tak’n As mighty Donny Lane: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ He was with love's ambition dight In the not distant past. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ For every hopeful shine he waxed, A deathly pale he’d wane; ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “And she will make my arms her home; I’ll all her burdens carry. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When ever I read you...theres so many things that leave me impressed and in admiration of your writing...it goes without needing to be said that you are a master of this kind of poetry...your rhyme speak rocks...as does your sense of cadence and turn of phrase...vocab and verbiage...as in the lines above..your word play is poetic perfection, in knowing just how to use the words and turn the phrase to say it and always maintain your awesome meter...(I wish I had your grasp of language) and as always your metaphors, symbolism and story telling is light years ahead of most. This was poetic heaven read aloud... Tis always a treat to find your name in haven.  I'll bare the brunt of your long buried pain I don't mind helping you out ... But I want you to remember my name Alanis |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Bravo! And in agreement with JM, this one is sheer delight read outloud! |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Have to echo Dark Angel on this one -- it's a joy to read. I've never done a ballad....this one has me thinking that maybe I should give it a try! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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