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Fall |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas 
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In Autumn Years, Yggdrasil groaned, freeing tenacious clinging leaves. Sifting languidly we fell down. Pitter-pitter-pat we laid flat and sank beneath the ground. Alicat 5/8/05 |
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| © Copyright 2005 Alastair Adamson - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
this is awesome! I had to look up Yggdrasil, and when I did, it made this even better...very cool  |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
I couldn't help thinking of Paradise Lost when I read this. Did you intend that kind of dualism, with "we fell and sank beneath the ground?" The cosmological implications of "Yggdrasil" seem to clue that off, as well as the rather obvious title. I've been wrong about you before, though, which is why I ask. If it is, it's a rather cruel interpretation, just by virtue of your description. "Tenacious" makes it sound merciless that they should be shaken off, "languid" almost brings to mind the image of a warrior being weary after a long struggle. Regardless of whether or not there's some kind of double-meaning here, I think you've developed a very compelling image here, especially in your choice of descriptive words to humanize the whole scene. But I can't wait for you to come back and tell me whether or not my interpretation is correct? Brian "God becomes as we are that we may be as he is." ~William Blake |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Thank you for the responses. LP, you're both spot on, and dead wrong. Don'tcha just love that?  I write what I see in my head, and often, I'll use words that just seem to fit best, sound the most melodic, provide for wordplay, or all of the above. Being inherently lazy, I leave the interpretation to the reader, which can be a dangerous thing. *chuckle* In some other poems, the responses had me scratching my head on where they got that image, since it was about as far from my original image as could be. But still valid, nevertheless.I do enjoy your critiques, as they make me think and second guess my own writings. Truth is, all I had was a picture of a large tree shedding leaves, them falling to the ground. Then I saw that the leaves were people and when I looked at the tree, the name 'Yggdrasil' crept into my mind, probably from my early fascination with Nordic, Grecian and Celtic mythology as a child. The leaves added to the leafmould and gradually sank into the earth as fertilizer. So too do people, when you get right down to it.  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
y'had me at Yggdrasil. (Let's see em make that a movie quote.)  and giggles love ya bro  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Came back to give you a proper response bro. I really like the way this read as like a children's rhyme. Like something I'd overhear from a Wiccan playground. in fact, I think I love this. I just wish I could accept the natural fact without all the pain, yanno? hugs |
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timothysangel1973
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725Never close enough |
Well I am gonna be honest cause I always am hehe I LOVED IT !! I loved it more, after you explained what it was about. Now, that was me being honest, cause normally I wouldnt tell someone that I had no clue what the hell they were talking about just so that I could save face. LOL This was beautiful, once I let my mind see what you seen. Wonderful Write Tima |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
“Two thumbs up” Ali. I think my interpretation was also pinned to the lines: freeing tenacious clinging leaves. Sifting languidly we fell down. I can clearly recall a state equal to each of these in my life, and I have witnessed a great many other “tenaciously clinging “ people reach that change as well. Truly, the life I was trying so hard to cling to did not begin until I actually let go. Kind of makes me wonder how many leaves die on the branch so to speak. Well, guess all that’s left is becoming fertilizer now. : ) Great piece of work, I was glad you shared your insights as well. I always tried to convey emotion through my poetry, but leave the readers to their own interpretations as well. You definitely perked my interest up with this one. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Sometimes it's just plain refreshing to have a poem that is interesting enough to make you want to read it for the twothreefour times through, that it takes before it whaps you between the eyes....and lo, this hath been one of them! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Goodness...guess I should check this forum more often, as I've been very busy the past 2 months with a roofing project for my dad. Sis, thank you, as always, for your readership. I knows you'll be brutal when the need arises, and I do treasure your insights. Timothysangel, thanky! Michael, thanks for your response, as it gives yet another dimension to this work which I hadn't hitherto thought of myself. Ratleader...zounds. Your response simply made me grin widely and cackle madly. For a maudlin day, your words sure perked me up. Thanky for that. |
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