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The Library

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Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


0 posted 04-15-2005 02:35 AM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Here's a new poem I wrote.  The tense shift in the poem is intentional, so please don't harangue me for it.  Even if you do, though, I think I'll be pleased you bothered to read a poem of this length in the first place.  It's kind of my "spring" poem, and I tried to deliver a bit of what goes on for me during this time of year.  Enjoy.

The Library

The summer blasts, now springs the spray,
And winter’s wickedness outclashed
Is violently from puddles splashed
By busy boots that, gray on gray,
March in the gravel, throw away
The seasons who, themselves abashed
Batter the roofs, and windows knock,
And shutters shake as the winds walk.

Within their walls, the mighty hosts
Of these high structures stalk the shelves
Smooth out the leaves, and fit themselves
With artifice.  Like native ghosts,
Unspotted, odes and idylls coast
Into my frame of thought.  I delve,
Blindfolded, as they start to talk,
And through them, with my fingers, walk.

Strange, unfamiliar paths I take:
A word like “green” could seem to me
So cropped in possibility
By circumstance.  Of such I make
And rearrange my mind, to shake
The lamps of architecture free,
And though they fall, they hit a block
Of steel, and then away they walk.

I would cry out, if I could know
The tongue they feign.  I understand
Too basically, and my command
Cannot resolve the blooms that blow,
The hues that on their petals glow,
The shades that coat them, or the hands
That grafted them to a sole stock,
While all about, the muses walked,

And whistled him a fairy tune,
And stirred his sensibility,
And set his composition free
With measures and with meters strewn,
One foot before the next, immune
To misalignment—so I see
A species, wrists and ankles locked
Through the dry halls of memory walks.

An apparition of disease:
I see faint hints of pleasure, there,
His crude and ragged facial hair
Falls through his shackles to his knees—
But pleasure it must be!  He sees
Some wise intention in my stare?
We stood still, as the envious clocks
Their same dull round were set to walk.

For such they did—the evening dipped,
The building’s patrons stepped around
The spot I stood on, till the sound
Of emptiness into me slipped—
My colleague sauntered to his crypt,
As I did.  Busts of old renown
Bowed to me, and the seas of chalk
Settled, as through the doors I walked.
© Copyright 2005 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved
Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


1 posted 04-15-2005 03:57 PM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

I read.

I liked.

I changed the first stanza (mostly tense changes) ... and then stopped 'cos I was slightly stunted
------------------------
The summer blasts, now springs the spray,
And wicked winterness out-lashed
Violent that from puddles splashed
By busy boots who grew on grey,
Marched in gravel, they threw away
The seasons who themselves abashed
Battered the roofs, and windows knocked,
And shutters shook as winds, they walked.
---

mebbe, I am out of rhythm...

but ... that's me (never mind)




regards
sudhir
P.S. i read and then re-read and liked all that is there ... really... believe me
Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


2 posted 04-16-2005 12:39 AM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Brian

The library was a first love of mine...to see it though your eyes is different, yet the same.  I could feel you there, understand your thoughts...almost know who you were reading and comparing yourself with.  I always enjoy your writing...you have much talent!  
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 05-18-2001
Posts 29020
Gaia


3 posted 04-16-2005 09:52 AM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

quote:
And whistled him a fairy tune,
And stirred his sensibility,
And set his composition free
With measures and with meters strewn,
One foot before the next, immune
To misalignment—so I see
A species, wrists and ankles locked
Through the dry halls of memory walks


woohoooo
Thank you Brian,  for my newest library acquisition! Enjoying your immunity, vicariously. The tense change did not annoy me, but 'outclashed' made me stumble for a moment.
BRAVO!
Child of the Stars
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Senior Member
since 09-07-2000
Posts 1972
Ann Arbor, MI


4 posted 04-27-2005 12:19 PM       View Profile for Child of the Stars   Email Child of the Stars   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Child of the Stars

0mg ur s000 weird.  d00d this is k3wl tho.  

Um so.  It isn't that long....really.  There's a lot of subject-verb inversion going on though, and sometimes it seems misplaced.  You're fancy but not that fancy.  :P  


While all about, the muses walked,

And whistled him a fairy tune,
And stirred his sensibility,
And set his composition free
With measures and with meters strewn,
One foot before the next, immune
To misalignment


Yep... *sighs.*  Books are so lovely.  You've managed to get rid of that stiffness that held you back so long ago...     I'm so proud of you!  *pinches cheeks!*

   ~Carly

"How inimitably graceful children are in general before they learn to dance!"
           --Samuel Taylor Coleridge
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York


5 posted 04-29-2005 08:41 AM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing

Bri?

Within their walls, the mighty hosts
Of these high structures stalk the shelves
Smooth out the leaves, and fit themselves
With artifice.  Like native ghosts,
Unspotted, odes and idylls coast
Into my frame of thought.  I delve,
Blindfolded, as they start to talk,
And through them, with my fingers, walk.


I saw you in an old library, the kind with huge ladders and leather bound beauties and all around you enormous shelves of volumes of life waiting to be given breath again.

I also saw you comparing the rebirth of the written word to Spring.  

I adore the cover of a book, running my hand over it, feeling the thick pages between my fingers . . . getting lost within myself, getting lost within another's thoughts and ideals. I usually end up falling alseep on my book, though.  *grin*  Although, most weekends, I spend all day in the bookstores with some cappucino.  Pity, they are closing many of the libraries here . . . one day I shall have my own . . .

I miss you too, so very much. I am full-time again, working as an IT Tech so that is why you don't see me so much.

This is amazing, as you always are.
You are brilliant.  
Alicat
Member Elite
since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


6 posted 04-29-2005 10:21 AM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

That stanza Littlewing pulled up is the very one I had some problem with, specifically the 'as' in  
quote:
Blindfolded, as they start to talk,
.  The end result was a stuttering, akin to an extra half beat, most likely since the line for me started on the previous one with 'I delve'.

That was my one and only complaint.  
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 03-07-2001
Posts 19652
British Columbia, Canada


7 posted 04-29-2005 08:34 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

You know I could not ask for a more satisfying read than when I see your words upon the page.  The day you put them all into something I can run a finger over I will be one happy camper   Sorry Brian, I am not skilled to give any critque but sure love those that try for they can only make what is perfect now, sublime reading!
Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 01-23-2003
Posts 7179
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass


8 posted 10-02-2006 12:42 AM       View Profile for Ratleader   Email Ratleader   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ratleader's Home Page   View IP for Ratleader

It's easy to pass by a long poem, and often it's wise do do so, if the passing allows us to read two or three others.

Some, on the other hand, are well worth those extra moments. This one certainly is.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

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